Tocasaid

If Burns were here now?

2012-01-24T23:15:00.002Z

Its yon nicht again and the merry ploughboy's poetry resonates as much as ever. As usual, everyone wants a piece of the cake. Even Tories. Even Lib Dems. However, even the nation's schoolkids who are taking part in school Burns' Suppers up and down the land could tell you that he... saw Scotland's rightful place in the world as her own nation, detested bigotry and the idle rich and saw no need to be bound by a 'Christian' view of monogamy.

To mark the bard's day, Tocasaid teamed up with the same crack team of graphic design whizzkids who presented us with Labour's highly sophisticated Scottish election campaign last year.

A Parcel of Rogues or Address to a Haggis?

Lib Dems? Scottish Labour? Unionists? Burns' stomach would've turned at the thought of these charlatans and liars. And the list is a long one.... Danny boy Alexander, Michael Moore, Jim Murphy, Alastair Darling, Douglas Alexander, Tom Harris, Iain Gray and Scotland's only Tory MP, David Mundane. Are they 'anti-Scottish'? Well, they're certainly doing SFA for the poorest in Scotland. As for independence - they can't make up their minds whether or not the referendum is illegal or whether Salmond should call it a.s.a.p. What a shower.

Is There For an Honest Poverty?

It could be argued that Burns had an influence on later Scottish working class champions - Hardie, Connolly, Maxton, Maclean and Jimmy Reid of late. How many of them saw the Scottish labour movement's main priority as 'saving the Union'? Morever, we hear from current Labour stooges the same old mantra of 'Tartan Tories' and of Scottish nationalists being 'insular'. Who was it though that saw the children of asylum seekers snatched from their homes in dawn raids and thrown in Dungavel Prison? Labour? How progressive.

Lay the proud usurpers low! or The Creed of Poverty

As to the English riots and the Con Dems of London? Well perhaps a verse of Scots Wha Hae?

 Lay the proud usurpers low!
    Tyrants fall in every foe!
    Liberty's in every blow! -
    Let us do or die!

Or, the Creed of Poverty?

In politics if thou would'st mix,
      And mean thy fortunes be;
    Bear this in mind--be deaf and blind;
      Let great folks hear and see.

Lastly, it would stretch things too far to claim that Burns advocated gay rights. However, as a bard with liberty and equality oozing out of his work, I don't think the bedroom habits of others would've bothered him. Especially when his own oats were well sown in many a furrow. The unholy coalition of god-botherers and bigots who are losing sleep over the proposed law to give lesbians and gays the right to marry would surely have seen a verse or two composed in ridicule.

My Luve is like...?

An American view on the threat to marriage...

2012-01-24T20:44:00.000Z

Of. Debate. End.

Tom Harris MP: "London's Chomsky"

2012-01-16T21:30:00.000Z

As the Scottish Government stands firm on its elected mandate to hold a referendum against the backlash of an injured ConDem London, the war of words intensifies. And Tom Harris MP posts a video on You Tube.

Thus, the Labour and Unionist Party's expert on social-media has resigned even before Johann could appoint him to fix the wi-fi on Labour's SOS bus. Upon his resignation, tributes flooded in:

"He was like London's Paxman, only they have one already."

"What many don't know is that when not working tirelessly to save the Union on behalf of the Labour and Unionist Party, Tom moonlighted in the CERN Hadron Collider on the outskirts of Geneva desperately trying to find the 'god' particle"

"His sophisticated use of politically charged graphics in conjunction with social media was second only to certain blogs of a Scots nationalist persuasion and earned him the fond epithet 'the Banksy of Westminster'.

His entry in Wikipedia is considered to be entirely dissimilar to this one:

Avram Noam Chomsky ( /ˈnoʊm ˈtʃɒmski/ or /ˈnoʊm ˈxɒmski/, born December 7, 1928) is an American linguist, philosopher,^[4]^[5] cognitive scientist, historian, and activist. He is an Institute Professor and Professor (Emeritus) in the Department of Linguistics & Philosophy at MIT, where he has worked for over 50 years.^[6] Chomsky has been described as the "father of modern linguistics"^[7]^[8]^[9] and a major figure of analytic philosophy.^[4] His work has influenced fields such as computer science, mathematics, and psychology.^[10]^[11]
Chomsky is credited as the creator or co-creator of the Chomsky hierarchy, the universal grammar theory, and the Chomsky–Schützenberger theorem.
Ideologically identifying with anarchism and libertarian socialism, Chomsky is known for his critiques of U.S. foreign policy^[12] and contemporary capitalism,^[13] and he has been described as a prominent cultural figure.^[14] His media criticism has included Manufacturing Consent: The Political Economy of the Mass Media (1988), co-written with Edward S. Herman, an analysis articulating the propaganda model theory for examining the media.
According to the Arts and Humanities Citation Index in 1992, Chomsky was cited as a source more often than any other living scholar from 1980 to 1992, and was the eighth most cited source overall.^[15]^[16]^[17]^[18] Chomsky is the author of over 100 books.^[19]

Tom's constituents know where his heart lies.

London: very cross and not amused

2012-01-12T22:24:00.000Z

It was a mighty effort but us Porridge Wogs finally succeeded in knocking plastic breast implants off the top of the English news agenda.

How dare we? As Scotland makes moves to becoming the latest nation of the former British Empire - that model of enlightenment and ethnic cleansing which served as an example for a whole host of nutter tyrants from Hitler to Saddam - to break free from London governance, the three Eton millionaires of the London parties join forces to fume publically at Alex Salmond's disgraceful democratic mandate. The three sickening hypocrites at times seemed to gleefully rub shoulders as if taking part in a frat party circle-jerk at their exclusive alma mater.


Sorry Dave, the Empire has gone...

Ed Miliband was particularly nauseating. After an underwhelming period as London Labour leader that makes the hapless former Scottish Labour Brown Owl Iain Gray seem inspiring and dynamic, he asked David Cameron - in that strange Gary Numan voice of his - if he agreed that Salmond was a very very bad man indeed for wanting Scots to control their destiny. He did, and Nick Clegg nodded in orgasmic harmony. Miliband had thus gained his minute of acceptance and positive column inches in the London press and was free to scuttle off to his serpentarium. Whatever Miliband is - lizard, Numan voice-over or just weird posh boy - he's certainly no old-style Scottish socialist.

What else can one say? London has a pretty shameful record when it comes to democracy. It didn't like it when the nascent republic of the USA wanted free from London rule. Hey, but they didn't vote for it according to rules drawn up by London. But the Irish did. In 1918, a massive 75% voted for Sinn Fein and other nationalists. The bloody aftermath and smell of pipe bombs are still fresh in the nostrils. In 1979, London drew up the rules on Scotland's first home rule referendum. We needed a 40% majority to win. However, last year, the SNP won more votes than their 3 Unionist rivals combined. It means hee-haw to the three millionaires of Westminster though.

The bemused English media has spluttered their indignation and incomprehension. Some though have observed that we may even be 'pro-Nordic' in a kind of healthy wealthy sort of way but...

Who says that the oil is ours? (International law does)
What about our share of UK debt? (ditto - shared pro-rata)
What about currency? (Er...mind the Irish punt?)
What about Glorious Britain's huge pile of WMD's and assorted warmongering paraphernalia? (England can have it. Think of all that safety and deterrence!)
What about Europe? (Well, before the Act of Union, we traded peacefully with our Euro neighbours. After it, we were at war with them because England was)
Er....

In the old days, the days in the run up to an election saw the Scottish versions of the Daily Mail and Express warn about some vague 'threat' from 'Tartan Terrorists'. These days its left to the pathetic Scotsman to fire off a few 'SNP accused...' headlines every month while the political masters in London quickly jot some ideas on the back of a fag packet about 'constitutional and legal precedence'.

Its hard to see the UN not accepting a positive result in an independence referendum. Though, if London has the power to confer these powers to us, then why doesn't it do so? Why the wait? Why the strings attached? And lastly, where's your fkn mandate Cameron, Clegg and Miliband?

Neologism of the month: santorum

2012-01-04T10:27:00.001Z

The race to become the US Republican presidential nominee has reminded me of a recent addition to the corpus of the English language. Hearing that Rick Santorum came close to Mitt Romney in the Iowa caucus reminded of the noun santorum which entered our pure Anglo-Saxon tongue some years ago.

As Tocasaid is a family orientated blog, it would be irresponsible of me to highlight the exact meaning of santorum. Suffice to say, it was coined to describe the liquid by-product of anal congress between two consenting adult males. The story of how Catholic crusader Santorum's surname became common parlance for this can be found here.

More on Santorum and his homophobic statements can be found here on Wayne Besen's blog. Apparently, Santorum believes that 'abolishing' sodomy laws will lead to 'man on dog' sex. Interestingly enough, this is also the opinion of the Wee Frees in Scotland. However, Scotland's own Protestant Taliban maintain that anyone wishing to descend into a life of zoophilia needs only to journey on a Sunday ferry. I find it fascinating that two apparently opposing sects on the Christian spectrum can have the same idea. Could it be that both sects are equally insane?

Lastly, it reminds me of the late Christopher Hitchens' quote on the nature of fascist regimes in 1930s Europe. Here's part of his last interview with Richard Dawkins from the New Statesman:

Fascism and the Catholic Church
RD The people who did Hitler's dirty work were almost all religious.
CH I'm afraid the SS's relationship with the Catholic Church is something the Church still has to deal with and does not deny.
RD Can you talk a bit about that - the relationship of Nazism with the Catholic Church?
CH The way I put it is this: if you're writing about the history of the 1930s and the rise of totalitarianism, you can take out the word "fascist", if you want, for Italy, Portugal, Spain, Czechoslovakia and Austria and replace it with "extreme-right Catholic party".
Almost all of those regimes were in place with the help of the Vatican and with understandings from the Holy See. It's not denied. These understandings quite often persisted after the Second World War was over and extended to comparable regimes in Argentina and elsewhere.

Warning! Clicking on the following disgusting links may lead to you sharing your bed with a pet.
Spreading Santorum blog
The neologism campaign
Rick Santorum's Anal Sex Problem

2011 - the year of ?

2011-12-31T09:28:00.002Z

In Gaeldom, years were once known by epithets rather than simple numbers. Hence we had Bliadhna Theàrlaich (1745), a' Bhliadhna a Ghais am Buntàta (the year of the Highland famine) and more recently Bliadhna a' Chac which can refer to the year when either Thatcher or Blair came to power. What will this year be known as?

Here's some ideas from the preceding twelve months...

January saw Irish hackers gain access to the website of religious heid-the-baw Ian Paisley's party, the DUP and leave messages in and supporting Irish Gaelic as well as apologising for the party's many homophobic statements. One wonders who the DUP would rather god smited first, Gaels or Gays?

February. Not for the first nor the last time do we see and hear those Ordinary Blokes at Top Gear acting like a bunch of KKK hicks guffawing at the corpse of a young black kid they'd just lynched. This time they targeted Mexicans and their cuisine from the safety of their warm tax payer-funded BBC studios. Despite two thirds of the Top Gear team having had privileged private school educations they don't actually seem that well travelled. Anyway, I'm sure Clarkson didn't mean it. After all he looks like the kind of sad fuck who eats more nachos, beef and cheese than is good for him. Hey! Lets all laugh at these barmy foreigners and dark skinned pickaninnies!

March and a tsunami of world events hit the insular telly screens of Grate Brittann. The wave of water that left chaos in Japan also extolled the dangers of nuclear power and reminded us of what a dangerous and expensive white elephant it is. The British film crews meanwhile hovered over stricken Japanese gesticulating to them like English lager-louts stuck in a Spanish village and asking bemused locals for directions. The Arab Spring was also in full swing and the 'rebels' in Libya were rioting against Gaddafi. Strangely enough it seems as if the Libyan rebellion had its wheels oiled by French special agents. Cameron then miraculously found a lot of money that he'd previously claimed was unavailable to public services and promptly bombed the fck out of Libya. Cue human rights atrocities on both sides and finally the man who'd kissed, hugged and tortured for many world leaders only months previously was set upon by a mob and killed. Thus, the people of Libya are now free. More importantly, so is their oil.

April was officially declared the Month of Saxe-Coburg due to the Anglo-Germanic Prince Wilhelm having found a suitable receptacle for the royal poor-man's custard. Marriage and royalty in one horrendous package and fodder for the tabloid X-Factor generation. I understand that in the spirit of things, future winners of Britain's Got Talent will be deemed immediately eligible to marry a lesser member of the royals. Unfortunately, Prince Harry is thought to be too close for comfort. Sickening stuff indeed but a good excuse to roll out Laibach's take on Engerland's nashanull anthem.

The month of May saw a merry Bealltain for Scotland's march towards independence. Who could forget the glorious combination of a slick and savvy SNP and a Unionist opposition whose campaign was so feeble and lacklustre that it could be perceived as anti-Scottish...

"Why bother with the Scottish parish assembly?", "Hey, mention Thatcher and the proles and Weegies will vote for us anyway", "Dinnae bother using spellcheck on those election leaflets."

- and these were just the Labour Party quotes. In fact, Labour high-heid-yins were so cocksure on being elected by their 'safe' constituencies that some such as Andy Kerr boasted to Scots Parly workers on the day before the election, 'See you next week hen'. Ho-ho... how the mediocre fall.

Hence, the Lib Dems' ludicrous Tavish Scott, the Tories' dusty and arid Annabel Goldie and Labour's er... who?... were all sent packing. The subsequent leadership contests were just as dull. Even now, Salmond has no-one to match him as Ian Bell reflects upon here in the Herald. Roll on independence.

Flaming June and it was time to show some respect for the boys and gals 'we' send to become Taleban fodder in Afghanistan. Armed Forces Day was just another opportunity to wave a few Union Jacks and gloss over why the fck we're still involving ourselves and our kids lives in various foreign conflicts. Scotland unfortunately, including many SNP figures, is obsessed with our martial past. Get it over it lads and tell London to stuff their Eton-accented praise and wage a war on poverty.

July was a month dedicated to dirty tabloid lowlifes and a Jeremy Clarkson disciple with a gun. Indeed, this was a mad, mad month with EDL heidbangers marching and churches in Scotland getting their knickers in a twist over music in churches and gay ministers. Dontcha just love the religious right?

Things came to a heid in August when England's cities and Gloucester burned like Arab conurbations. Jeremy Clarkson was invited to protect Engerland's architectural heritage and fly a flag for lawrenorder but strangely declined. Cue a prolonged period of navel gazing, retribution and witch-hunting in the Land of Hope and Glory. The three millionaire leaders of London's political tribes condemned the rioters out of hand. Nick Clegg in particular plumbed depths so deep that he discovered hitherto unknown lifeforms living around an aperture between Cameron's buttocks. The bleating from the Eton boys sounded even more hollow when it emerged that they too had been involved in criminal damage and arson during their 'hoodie' years. The icing on the cake for Scots came when Unionists in North Britain were outraged at claims that the riots hadn't hit Scotland. Apparently, pointing out the fact that all the rioting happened in England did not make the riots an 'English' issue. Thus, the Labour Party and Lib Dems north of the border proved that they hadn't learned anything from May's humbling at the polls.

September and some rummaging around the Facebook pages of Scottish Defence League came up with Celtic's hot-heided midfielder Scott Brown apparently bonding with some small-town hicks in their campaign against...er, I'm not sure. Edinburgh's Evil News picked up on Tocasaid's fearless detective work and Scott Brown was forced to come out and act dumb, which he did very well. Whether or not the SDL are racist, sectarian, homo-erotic or just the footsoldiers in the Army of Christ's war on foreskins - as our Christian Bible demands - no-one can tell. Whatever, it doesn't wash well with Celtic FC's claims to the moral high-ground and eternal victimhood. Allah moves in strange ways however and next we'll be told that Celtic FC even employed a war-criminal and former Commander of the British Armed Forces as their chairman.

October was quiet-ish apart from the simmering stooshie over plans to allow gay marriages and the totally unconnected case of Liam Fox who had to resign his job in the Ministry of Bodybags due to his relationship with his best man. Oh, and Blair and Sarkozy's auld friend Gaddafi got butchered.

Gay marriages are still opposed by some.

November and the month of Samhain sees a coffin load of horrors released from Jesus freaks to misogynist Labour MPs to obnoxious young Tories in St Andrews. The campaign against gay marriage intensifies with bible-bashers getting themselves in a bigger froth about either the private lives of others or the rights of other religions to the word 'marriage'. The Wee Frees warn that allowing gays to marry is the start of a slippery slope towards paedophilia and bestiality. That's a guid yin! Pity they also said that about Sunday ferries to the Isle of Lewis. November was a month of anti-sectarian unity too with both the Ugly Sisters of Glasgow Rangers and Glasgow Celtic - do I detect a geographical pattern here? - uniting in attacking the Scottish Government's anti-sectarian bill. Various neo-Abrahamic sects from the Roman Catholic Church to the million and one Presbyterian splinter sects in Scotland also united to stop others from using the word 'marriage' on a piece of paper to describe a relationship between two persons of the same sex. Those two could be Liam Fox and Adam Werrity perhaps. Or maybe William Hague and his bedfellow. Or even the new Tory leader in Scotland who is, unlike the rest, open about her sexuality.

Lastly, the dark dreich month of December ushered in a flurry of black humour at the expense of others' misfortune. Clarkson again. This time wading into the public service strikers who took to the streets in numbers not seen for many a year. The fat toff would do well to remember that his girth is a product of public subsidy via the BBC. Maybe he's hoping to inspire another right-wing gun nut to act out his fantasies for him? Clarkson wasn't the only one though. English media wee-sacks Matthew Wright probably outdid Clarkson when he guffawed at the murder of a 16 year old in the Isle of Lewis. Now that Wright's show has been axed by the crusading Channel 5/ Daily Express TV, the wee nyaff has probably hit the bottle again. Like a character in Taggart.

Having been all high and mighty about others mining tragedy or poverty for laughs... I have to admit a bit of guilt in this department too. My cheap shot at the demise of the Scottish Labour Party was below the belt. Never kick a hypocritical, London-centric, bloated and corrupt auld jakie when he or she is down. Shame on me.

The Gove Bible, Hitchens, Winterval and Sectarianism

2011-12-22T22:38:00.002Z

It's the great dark winter of austerity but Michael Gove, the testicular-faced education Caesar south of the border has found enough pennies in his sporan to send a new copy of the King James' Bible to every school in Engerland. Not only that, but this new edition will be prefaced by the Book of Gove.

Let us worship, with Gove.

Will the hitherto undiscovered Book of Gove be Old or New Testament in its leaning? Will kids be introduced to the vengeful, jealous and totally psychotic tyrant of the OT - the one who sends firestorms to engulf His creation and who has a bee in his bonnet about foreskins? Or will kids be given a hypocritical taste of the nice god - via his son, who is also er... himself... - who wants us to turn the other cheek except when marching into oil-rich nations to free their fossil-fuels for our use? Or will it be a kind of religious 'nice cop, nasty cop'?

There are some parallels to be drawn between the bipolar god of the bible and some Western politicians. In the bible, god creates people, draws up the parameters of their existence, insists they give him 'praise' for him choosing to create them and then melts them in fire if they don't toe his line. Equally, we have seen a number of tyrants 'created' by US and UK powers for decades now, usually for our short-term economic gain. However, like earthly sinners, they too face firestorms when they stop tugging their forelocks in the White House's direction.

Will this mass of contradictions be explained to England's schoolkids? I fear it may be left to a few 'rogue' teachers to balance things with the works of AC Grayling, Dawkins and the late Christopher Hitchens. Hitchens has many a tome which could easily be distilled and offered for consideration by young minds. Especially at this time of year when the sheer amount of bullshit forced upon kids in the name of 'Christmas' is staggering. Lets hope some of the content of Hitchens' The Portable Atheist or God is not Great is provided a.s.a.p.

Here's some of Hitchens' finest quotes on the subject:

“[Mother Teresa] was not a friend of the poor. She was a friend of poverty. She said that suffering was a gift from God. She spent her life opposing the only known cure for poverty, which is the empowerment of women and the emancipation of them from a livestock version of compulsory reproduction.”

“The Bible may, indeed does, contain a warrant for trafficking in humans, for ethnic cleansing, for slavery, for bride-price, and for indiscriminate massacre, but we are not bound by any of it because it was put together by crude, uncultured human mammals.”

“To terrify children with the image of hell, to consider women an inferior creation—is that good for the world?”

“Organised religion is violent, irrational, intolerant, allied to racism, tribalism, and bigotry, invested in ignorance and hostile to free inquiry, contemptuous of women and coercive toward children.”

“Everything about Christianity is contained in the pathetic image of 'the flock.”

“Who are your favorite heroines in real life? The women of Afghanistan, Iraq, and Iran who risk their lives and their beauty to defy the foulness of theocracy. Ayaan Hirsi Ali and Azar Nafisi as their ideal feminine model.”

I may use the term 'Winterval' to take the piss. There are those who are furious that anyone uses it. Instead, we are meant to accept our kids being brainwashed by fantasy and nonsense that isn't even in the Bible. The 'Good Book' is ludicrous enough with its mass of contradictions, hate and general mania. Even this book, on which our religious are based, does not make any mention of Christ's birthdate. Neither are there any wise men nor a star to follow. As Dawkins said of Catholicism, 'these guys are shamelessly making it up as they go along'.

The Wee Frees - Scotland's Real Proddies Continuing - are right in at least one thing. Christmas is simply an auld pagan festival that's been remixed over the centuries by the Pope and his closest men.

This leads me onto to Scotland's form of sectarianism which is actually pretty mild compared to the crazy form they practise in Iraq or Israel. To be precise, I wonder how the Orange Order and thousands of Glasgow Rangers' fans can continue to partake in such pagan and Popish idolatry? The Scotland of my maw's day all worked at Xmas. A friend of mine whose Irish mother grew up in a West Lothian town some 60 years ago tells me that hers was the only house with a Xmas tree in it.

This then is the peculiar thing about Scotland's sectarianism. On one hand you have thousands of... braindoners to be frank who hate Catholicism but who break the Sabbath by playing/ watching football, partake in Catholic/ pagan festivals and who don't really go to church anymore. Yet they still think they are 'oppressed' by the Pope.

On the other side, you have thousands of deluded Celtic fans who were born in Scotland often to Scots born parents, who speak Scottish and are culturally Scottish but who claim to be 'Irish'. I've met these 'second generation' Glaswegian Irish in the Gweedore Gaeltachd and they stick out like sare thumbs. You can meet the young lads speaking Irish and carrying hurley sticks or going to a session in a local teach before encountering swaggering loud Glaswegians with Celtic tops and gold chains. Now, who are the real Irish?

SOS bus arrives for Labour

2011-12-18T17:49:00.004Z

Just as well that Glasgow got its SOS 'Boozebus' rolling this weekend. All three of North Britain's Labour leadership hopefulls (is hopelesses a noun?) represent constituencies in or around Glesgae. With Captain Gray having jumped ship, the last three mammals left aboard hobbled forward to fight it out in a contest to be skipper.

Bus for Scottish Labour, next stop nowhere.

And what a contest it wasn't. While we're on the nautical theme, Captain Pugwash was more exciting and relevant to the future of Scotland. Seaman Staines, Master Bates and Roger the Cabin boy didn't exactly clamour to be party leader but were more content to be lapped forward a little by the ripples resulting from departing leader Gray's farewell breaking of wind.

In all seriousness though, the messages coming from Labour regarding their future direction have been confusing to say the least. High heid yins like Douglas Alexander have acknowledged that Labour strategy for the past years in dealing with the SNP has been to spread fear of 'separation'. When fear fails, get bitter and twisted. Others have questioned the need for Labour to be obsessed with 'saving the Union'. It has been acknowledged that Labour 'hasn't listened' to Scotland and that the constant negativity emanating from their elected representatives turns people off.

Johann, Joanna, John, Joan... whats in a name?

You'd think that Iain Gray of all people would know all this. However, his parting shot at Salmond was less than gracious. I can't recall his exact words but the general gist of his rant was, 'Salmond you fkng fat poof, you've made me a laughing stock... we used to have it so comfy in Scotland but...' before he was led away sobbing by Lord Foulkes to a local hostelry.

It surely is a sign of the poverty of the imagination in the Scottish Labour camp that Henry McLeish is being constantly wheeled out like some wise auld sage though his warnings that Labour are too obsessed with the Nats are true enough. If he is Labour's Christopher Hitchens-type big thinker then the dawn of independence will come quicker than a Nick Clegg change of ideals.

Step forward Johann Lamont - or 'Yohann' according to Sky News who seem to think Labour's new leader here is a male Scandanavian though even some Scots shamefully call her La-mont instead of Lam-ont which is closer to the Gaelic roots of the name. Whatever, Sir Johann de la Mont said, through gritted teeth, that she didn't hate the SNP and that they patently had a mandate to do what the fluk they wanted to. Seemed to me as if she was just going through the motions as if in some Winterval Panto matinee for the local nursery. In the same breath as acknowledging this mandate she then demanded that the SNP call the referendum a.s.a.p. But... aren't the SNP just sticking to the manifesto that the majority of us voted for? And, is that not called er... a mandate?

Labour don't get it. The king is dead, long live the king. They've been a festering sore for years and took the Scots for granted at every election. Scotland will be independent sooner or later. Labour could be a constructive part of that or they could wither away like the old Liberals did.

Cheap laughs in other people's misery

2011-12-08T21:20:00.002Z

The recent stooshies surrounding the humour of some English media types is probably heaven-sent propaganda material for certain right-wing tabloids who will use it in their latest campaign against 'political correctness'. Some in the London-based media would just love it if they could call a spade a spade and come out with the kind of hate-filled bile that even the BNP are scared to speak today.

Ha! Another murder!

The Matthew Wright incident is harder to brush off though as the predictable objections of a few lefties. It does however shine a spotlight on the hypocrisy that surrounds both the tabloid media and the kind of shock-comedians and presenters who make cheap laughs and money out of the misery of others.

Wright's employer is of course Channel 5 which is interestingly enough owned by Daily Express czar Richard Desmond. The Express, it should be remembered, is a campaigning paper and likes to see itself as being 'tough on crime' - as much as despised journalists can be. Desmond by the way is also the owner of various porn mags and one time donor to Blair's Labour Party - could this all be more righteous than it already is?! Paxman's interview with Blair, if you can find it on You Tube, makes for classic viewing.

Wright though peddles a different kind of porn - and not one than young lads can have a quick hand-shandy to - poverty porn. This is usually bad enough - watching the smug bully that is Wright revel in the problems of various 'schemies' and 'chavs' confused by their 15 minutes of fame and hyped up on free coffee. However, hearing Wright and his fellow bullies smirk and guffaw at their own jokes about the murder of a teenager in the Isle of Lewis really does make the stomach churn. Like all of his ilk, he chooses his targets wisely though. This 'may only be a laugh' but why doesn't he laugh at the deaths in his own family? Why not laugh at soldiers blown apart in Afghanistan? Why not IRA victims?

Strange how these folk can come over all PC when it suits them.

Hope their families are watching.

Wright is not alone. His case swiftly follows that of yon fat buffoon Jeremy Clarkson. Hearing a bloated ex-private school windbag who drives cars for a living at the tax-payers' expense courtesy of the BBC, saying the striking teachers and nurses should be shot makes even this atheist wish for a wrathful God to suddenly demand Clarkson's biblical-style circumcision. How would JC fare in an inner-city school trying to teach the offspring of society's detritus? Would he have picked up the pieces of human bodies after London's many terrorist bombs over the years? Cannae see it somehow.

Or as someone else put it:

A Banker, a School Teacher, a Tory MP and a Daily Mail reader are sat around a table. In front of them is a plate, on which there are ten biscuits. The Banker scoffs nine of the biscuits, then the Tory turns to the Daily Mail reader and whispers in his ear "Watch out, that teacher is after your biscuit."

Which role would Clarkson play?

Whit ye waiting fur? Jist git oan wi it!

Scotland has its own prize hypocrite though. Billy Connolly. His laughs came from the beheading in Iraq of Ken Bigley. Ho-ho! However, I can't recall his jokes about Princess Di's early demise? Maybe his friendship with Prince Charles and the Royal Family has something to do the 'Big Yin's' selective political correctness? If not, I look forward to hearing his jokes about Chas' uncle, Louis Mountbatten - "1st Earl of Burma" - who the IRA infamously assassinated in 1979. Maybe the famously working-class Connolly does have some boundaries after all?

Not all school bullies grow up to become policemen.

Skins, bagpipes and thrash - Oi Polloi at 30

2011-12-04T19:19:00.001Z

Some may argue that any punk band that has been together for 30 years isn't a punk band. Some like the UK Subs and GBH never went away. Others like the Pistols, Damned, Subhumans, Skids and even bizarrely Anti-Pasti have at some point reformed. However, I guess that if your music has 'ranged' from basic Oi! to tuneful Sham 69 type punk via the likes of hardcore metal and grunge with some fiddle and bagpipes thrown in then the band has always 'reinvented' itself. A bit like Madonna.

This is not achieved without a turnover in members. Polloi's members have included punks from the schemes as well as ex-pupils of private schools. Not surprisingly, political activists have been there in some number. Most notably were activists for the likes of Anti-Fascist Action and the Hunt Saboteurs. One was even outed as a BNP member which ended up being more painful for him than embarrassing for the band. Lyrics have been equally varied. Some of the early simple ones are still the best in terms of effect and audience reaction - the likes of Apostles cover Pigs for Slaughter, Americans Out/ Hands off Nicaragua and Let the Boots do the Talking. Even the later switch to singing in the medium of Gaelic hasn't deterred the punks from singing along to Carson? or Union Jack - Thall is Cac! Indeed, the funky Killing Joke-esque anthem for the Naked Rambler, Ramalair Ruisgte is so catchy that even Tocasaid's non-punk better half has shaken her tòn to it. Some songs like Meine Augen, THC and Sex with Strangers too much like Crucial Youth for my liking though.

The lyrics generally haven't shied away from their political stance. I remember seeing one - amusing - confrontation in a Dublin nightclub when some local non-fascist but very Roman Catholic skinheads objected to When Two Men Kiss. The pro-land rights song Take Back the Land is an excellent and angry piece of satire. Willie MacRae also goes where a lot of anarchists don't. Even the decision to record only in Gaelic a few years ago is a bold statement and embodies the spirit of the political philosopher who said that learning a minority language itself was a revolutionary act. Polloi have shown that indigenous struggles are just as important at home as in Mexico or Nicaragua.

Learning languages has also bizarrely got Oi Polloi in trouble. In Germany, a rather strange anarchist subsect known as 'Anti-Deutsch' sees speaking German as 'making people proud of Germany' and therefore anti-semitic. In their eyes. As Polloi's singer Ruairidh is a fluent German speaker this has prompted threats from this small but irritating subsect of anarchist moonies. Singing in Gaelic was also not cool. However coming from 'punks' who voiced support for George W Bush in his 'war' against 'anti-semitism', I wouldn't worry too much about that.

Back in Alba a few years ago, similarly dour anarchist types - with accents that made Prince William seem like a prole - forced a film-crew from BBC Alba to flee the punk festival on Cramond Island. As the posh dirty ones explained between swigs of Sainsbury's cider, co-operating with the evil BBC, even in Gaelic, was a counter-revolutionary act. Oi Polloi were, simply... and I quote here, "the voice of the British state". The irony of an English anarchist berating a young Highlander, enthusiastic for new challenging Gaelic music, coming to film an anarchist punk rock band when only 3 decades previously Highlanders were punished by the 'British State' for speaking the same tongue was lost on these 'liberators'.

The tales are many and give credence to the statement that life is stranger than fiction. Some can be found in this interview on Viceland.

I look forward to the book. But until then, its time to get out the DMs and Sandanista Tshirts and get along to Bannermans for the anarchoi than never went away.

Oi Polloi on BBC Alba's Rapal program.

Two images for the St Andrew's Day strike

2011-11-30T19:41:00.000Z

A braw day indeed. More than 300k came out on strike and many thousands took to the streets. Even Stornoway and Lerwick saw demos. In Dùn Eideann, the cops made their usual low estimate and came up with a figure of 7000. Double that I'd say.

Amid dire warnings of the strike costing £500million to the UK economy -a fraction of what bombing Libya cost us - we see the usual political opportunism from Labour. Iain Gray condemns Salmond in Scotland for going about business but not Milibland and Balls in London who condemned the strike. What next? Independence?

Who knows what the cost of the Royal Wedding holiday was or what the proposed Queen's Jubilee day off will be. More or less than a Trident missile? Answers to the Daily Mail and Ed Balls.

In celebration of a St Andrews Day of resistance, I've nicked two pictures from other blogs. The above one is from Ian Bone. Was good to see the pudding-faced Alexander getting stick from the Inverness strikers too. The one below is from Scottish activist group Am Buidheann Dubh.

This is only the beginning. As Edward Dwelly said, "Se obair là toiseachadh..."

Out for St Andrew's Day

2011-11-28T20:54:00.000Z

The Tories are in power in London and that can only mean one thing. Strikes and riots. We've had the latter, as Tory substitute Nick Clegg famously predicted shortly before helping the Tories regain power. Now, despite the mantra of 'we're all in this together' from two thirds of the millionaire BeeGees of Westminster - the third one, reptilian posh boy Millibland doesn't have a clue - we see company CEOs and bloodsucking bankers coin it more than ever. The latest stat is that the top 100 bosses in the UK earn 145 times more than the average worker's wage.

In true Thatcher the Snatcher style, they want to fleece us of our pensions in order to feather the nests of some New Labour style PFI pirates. Some short term financial and electoral gain for ConDem Britain but like yon PFI schools and hospitals which flourished under Labour, we'll be paying them up for decades to come.

Britain is bankrupt. That much we know. But how come we can still afford to bomb the Libyan rebels to power against Gaddafi? How come we can afford new aircraft carriers? Hell, how can St Michael of Gove afford to send a copy of the King James Bible to every school in Engerland?

More than 20 unions are calling for a one-day strike. Even the once effective EIS has finally decided to support their members - but only after thousands left them for NASUWT, the SSTA or the newly formed SPTA - after apparently acceding to some crazy demands from COSLA. RMT, Unison, Unite and loads are joining in the fun.

Go for it. Lets have an 80s retro St Andrew's day...

Aberdeen

12:30pm - Rally at Castlegate.

Dundee

12noon - Assemble at Dudhope Park. March to City Square for rally.

Edinburgh

11:30am - Assemble at Johnson Terrace for march down High Street and Canongate for a rally at the Scottish Parliament.

Glasgow

12:00pm - March assembly at Shuttle Street (off Albion Street).

1:15pm - Rally at Barrowlands Ballroom.

Inverness

12noon - March and rally at Mercury Hotel, Church Street.

St Andrews Young Conservatives get mean!

2011-11-23T22:11:00.000Z

St Andrews University was their third choice. But now the dangleberries of OxBridge are showing how mean they can be. The trouble is, after the Scottish Tories put a kind of progressive foot forward by electing a lesbian leader, the lynching of a Barack Obama effigy makes the Tories look like the nasty extremists most of us still think them to be.

Of course, 'harmless fun' is a bit of a young Tory rite of passage. Who would argue that the lynch-lords and ladies of St Andrews won't be leading an independent England sometime in the future?

Due to having friends in News International, Tocasaid was able to hack into the St Andrews Tory student electronic yearbook and dig up some interesting pics.

Digby, Jeremy, Nigel and Tristan get into the Movember mood.

Wicked! Our boys are a special kind of Village People.

Here are the boys on the streets, marching for cuts.


Hurrah! Jasper manages to land his plane on the beach!


		Breakfast at Mosleys.


Though we love Ruth Davidson, nothing gives us the horn more than Venetia in her shiny robes.

Who said Tories were homophobic? Here's some post-rugger high-jinks. Ouch!

After all this, who wouldn't be a Brit Nat? Now, if Labour had any youth left in their party, I wonder what they'd get up to?

Some questions regarding sectarianism in Scotland

2011-11-20T00:02:00.002Z

Perhaps not unsurprisingly, the new figures showing an increase in sectarian or 'hate crimes' does little or nothing to give us a clear picture of what's going on. Also unsurprising is the Roman Catholic Church in Scotland leaping on the figures in order to play up their victim-status. The RCC may be a minority of sorts in Scotland and the UK but in other countries it is very much the right-of-centre conservative institution that most of us here believe it to be. The RCC uses its influence to spread its own kind of hate - usually against homosexuals, women or those who deviate from the Pope's world-view such as those who use contraceptives. On this last point, it should be remembered that the number of people who have contracted the HIV virus due to not using condoms is probably in the millions.

First question is, 'Who really gets offended by so-called sectarian abuse?'

Like many Scots, I have a fair bit of Irish blood in my family tree on both sides and of both 'sects'. Despite a standard Scots Presbyterian upbringing in a non-denominational state school as well as occasional attendance at the local Presbyterian smiling school, I don't think of myself as a 'Proddie'. Indeed, I'm an atheist. Further to that, as I also have an interest in Celtic-based politics and Gaelic language, wish to see a united Ireland and independent Scotland, I guess I could also be called a 'Fenian'. So, if I were to be insulted by someone, would I be a dour Presbyterian, Fenian barsteward or a dangerous godless atheist?

In the figures, it seems as if almost half of the offences were committed against police officers. Now, the obvious question to that is, 'How the fck does one tell a Proddie from a Catholic police officer?' Perhaps, officers are obliged to introduce themselves first. So, if the polisman says 'Hi, my name is Seumas MacNeill', how am i to know if the man is a MacNeill from Catholic Barra or a Church of Scotland one from Colonsay? If he says, 'I am PC Maginnis', should I ask if he's an Ulster Unionist Maginnis or a Sinn-Fein one?

A further 10% were hospital staff, bouncers and taxi drivers. As with the cops, how is one meant to determine to which branch of Christianity your nurse or taxi driver adheres?

I'd also be interested in knowing how many of these victims were actually religious in the sense of attending church regularly, praying at night and not masturbating?

We are also told that 'only' one-third of charges were made at football grounds. But, I'd be interested in finding out, if possible, how many of those arrested, anywhere, were followers of one of the Old Firm clubs.

The Lord is our fkn shepherd, we shall not want.

Nil by Mouth also spoke of the need for 'nationwide' action as all but five of Scotland's local authorities had persons with convictions. Again, I wonder what percentage of convictions occurred in the authorities closest to Glasgow and its twin hornets nests of Ibrox and Celtic Park. And, as above, how many of those arrested in any authority were Old Firm fans?

I also notice that the Western Isles were among the authorities that were 'clean' regarding religious hatred. This too is strange. Not because of the ordinary locals who in some places like Benbecula go to different churches but send their kids to the same non-denom school but because of the words of those in the pulpits. I'm sure that a leisurely Google search will soon throw up statements from the various Presbyterian sects regarding the Pope being the Antichrist or else about 'heathen' Muslims threatening our way of life. Surely this is religious sectarianism in its purest form?

Why should the Wee Frees - who know their mumbo jumbo inside out - get off while thick fitba fans who have never darkened the interior of a church are convicted of 'religious' hate offences?

If we are to move forward, we should treat tribal football-based hate crime for what it is. Equally though we should seek to remove real religion from public life as far as possible. This means no 'faith' schools run on public money - be they Catholic or Muslim. This also means an end to 'religious observance' in non-denominational schools.

All in all, this sorry saga is proof of Scotland's present backward status in some parts of our society. We can't blame it all on the Union and it isn't all doom and gloom but if ever there was a time to strive to emulate the civilised, prosperous and egalitarian nature of Norway -gun-toting conservatives excluded - then this is it. Not to mention the more marginalised nature of religion in our neighbour to the north.

Fuck religion. All of it.

The Scottish Cenobite and Unionist Party versus botulism

2011-11-17T21:21:00.002Z

Toxicity has taken hold in Scotland. Loyd Grossman has flooded Alba with jars of botulism sauce in a desperate attempt to overtake the Tories in the popularity stakes. The Tories have revelled in their sickness for years like a collective Dennis Nilsen. However, the turkey jowled Murdo Fraser thought it time to kill of the toxicity of the Tories by whisking them in an autoclave. Some thought it a clever ploy, to kill of the Tories by name and reinvent them as something even more sinister - Bavarian nationalists! Fraser though just nicked his idea from the Wiki entry on botulism:

Conservatism can be prevented by killing the spores by pressure cooking or autoclaving at 121 °C (250 °F) for 3 minutes or providing conditions that prevent the spores from growing. The toxin itself is destroyed by normal cooking processes - that is, boiling for a few minutes.

Instead, a narrow majority of Tories kept hold of their spores and went radical. The appointment of Ruth Davidson is a bold step. Here is a senior Tory who is open about her sexuality, unlike half of the Tory cabinet in London. This is indeed momentous. This is the party who introduced the Section (Clause) 28 law which attempted to ban the 'teaching' of homosexuality in schools - an attempt to introduce it into Britain's zoos to stop homosexual behaviour amongst monkeys, penguins and even dragonflies narrowly failed. The Tories while having become more gay-friendly are still intent on shoving 'family values' down people's throats though. At a time of cuts, they are proposing tax-breaks for those who 'choose' to get married.

Whatever, it has to be said that it was refreshing to have a Tory leadership contest whereby the openly gay, or otherwise, candidates didn't suddenly get married to a hitherto unheard of 'long-term' partner of the opposite sex thus satisfying the cravings of the Daily Mail types who are the 'life' blood of the party.

Scottish Tories go all out for votes with new leader

What may be good for society is probably bad for Tories though and sure enough, the cracks are already showing. Within hours, Catholic conservative and self-proclaimed Celtic FC czar Paul McBride QC had resigned. The Pope's continued hostility to homosexuality was wisely not mentioned as a reason and instead, Paul the Victim merely stated that Davidson was 'not a very nice woman' and observed that 87% of the Scots electorate despise the party. Certainly, it hard to see this situation improving. With a party in disarray and a new leader who looks like the infamous Cenobite Chatterteeth from Hellraiser, their electoral fortunes are doomed to sink even further. Good riddance to them.

This would of course leave the way clear for Grossman's Botulism Party to fill that third position in Scottish politics and leave the less popular Tories/ Lib Dems fighting for the scraps at the bottom of the heap along with other anti-social irritants such as those who stick fireworks into kitten's tooshies.

Real and imagined horrors for Halloween

2011-10-30T21:36:00.003Z

First you, then the Sunday sailors, then the gay brides.

Last year it was multiculturalism and for some timid souls, that's a bogeyman that will never go away. It shouldn't be but as guising time and dooking time comes round once again, there are new fears to contend with. How many of them really stand the test though?

First of has to be...

Gay marriage. As someone who sees the 'institution' of marriage as outdated, unnecessary and generally about as relevant to modern society as the Scottish Labour Party then I fail to understand the clamour by some gay and lesbian people to be involved in a system of belief that generally despises them. However, should some people wish to believe that their love needs to be 'officially sanctioned' in some god's eyes then go for it. The point for some though is that this actually threatens the foundations of our society. How? One person's choice of sexuality or celebration of it has as much bearing on my life as their bowel movements. If I don't worry about someone's toiletry habits then why should their bedroom habits or love-life matter? Get over it or else choose other cherries from god's word to pick like... waging a war on tattoos, masturbation, menstruation, working on a Sunday or promoting incest (see Lot et al...)

Hey! Some people already wage a war on Sabbath breakers. The 'Tartan Taleban' would be a fitting term for them if only the word 'tartan' didn't conjure up an image of colour. For, in the dour world of Scots Presbyterianism, people shouldn't be free to work, play or even travel on the Sabbath. Hence the dire warnings of impending doom from the Bible bashing lobby over the new Sunday sailings of Cal Mac ferries on the Isle of Harris. The warnings are that allowing people to think for themselves and decide whether or not to travel, work, play or go to church will lead to a 'change of life' for Hebridean islands like Harris. There are some difficulties with this approach though. One, other Hebridean islands such as Barra, Tiree or Islay have not been overrun by sodomites, goat worshippers or Islamists despite Sunday sailings and indeed all three of these islands are as traditional as they were ten years ago. Two, I am not sure of where the Abrahamic god of the King James' Bible decrees that the Sabbath be kept holy in order to maintain a quiet and rural way of life in the Western Isles. If Sabbatarian travel restrictions are to be applied to Lewis or Harris, then why not to Glasgow, Edinburgh or even London?

No jobs in Caithness for Norse speaking Picts then?

Next up is Gaelic in Caithness. Incredibly, the past and present Gaelic culture of Caithness is a persistent problem to some Highland councillors there. First they objected to bilingual roadsigns, claiming that 'Gaelic was never spoken in Caithness' despite the last native speaker of the Caithness dialect of Gaelic being recorded by the School of Scottish Studies in the 1950s and the whole county being littered with Gaelic placenames. Not only that, but because of Gaelic in-migration from other parts of Scotland and local Gollachs learning the auld tongue, Caithness has a Gaelic present too. However, even the one Caithness councillor who now accepts Highland Council's Gaelic plan still claims that Caithness only has 'Norse and Pictish' heritage. This is very handy as it means they can just leave the dead languages in the past. Or are the Caithness councillors going to show us exactly what they're doing to advance Caithness' Norse and Pictish culture? And, virtually every part of Scotland could claim the same heritage. Furthermore, if the Picts adopted the Gaelic language - see the The New History of the Picts for more on this - which was probably very close to their own, why can't modern day beancounters and bigots in Caithness?

Its somewhat fitting that auld terrors are revived now and again, like zombies, to scare the populace. One of these is Gypsy travellers (see excellent article in Bella here). In an age where naked bigotry against blacks, Asians, Jews and gays has more or less been banished to a lunatic fringe, bigotry against Gypsies is still tolerated. Ordinary white English villagers took exception to some Gypsy travellers having redeveloped a derelict scrapyard and demanded that they be turfed out onto the roads whereby they could then be hounded by different authorities using slightly different laws. It seems as if some of the travellers may have broken the law on occasion. Something that never happens at any level of ordinary English society, be it the lager louts at the bottom of the pile or the fraudulent lying MPs at the top.

Lady killers. Unfortunately, a very real threat to half the population. Labour's very own loose cannon and London hardman Jim, er, Ian Davidson may fantasise about giving female SNP MPs 'a doing' but other nutjobs take it all the way. This sorry state of affairs gives the usual right-wing tabloid brigade another opportunity to gie it laldie with the flamethrower of prejudice. Disappointingly for the Daily Star, Express, Scotsman, Mail and others most misogynists and murderers are home grown 'Brits'. Therefore, any attempt is made to disown the suspect. 'Look, he can't be one of us... he... er he's... a GOTH!' Or maybe he once attended a Gin Goblins concert. Listens to Marilyn Manson. Smoked dope? Defo. Or, as in the case of Chris Jeffries, he happened to be old, eccentric and in possession of a face that only a mother could love. Unfortunately for the moral crusaders of the Brit tabloids, looking like the bastard son of the Grinch and Archie MacPherson does not a murderer make. Fortunately, the cops eventually saw past the hatred and hysteria that was whipped up by scummy tabloid journos, who most folk would agree are themselves only one step above murderers and other such low life on the ladder of public esteem.

Lastly, as if the guy in the sky wasn't busy enough dealing with gay marriage and Sunday ferries, his self-appointed propagandists on earth are agonising over what do with the Occupy London protesters outside St Pauls in London, Some of the godly few in the Church of England have shown support for protesters who they view as embodying the principles of Jesus. Others in the church have taken a more traditional Christian view and called for God to smite them or else to manifest himself in the shape of the Metropolitan Police, wade in and introduce skull to righteous truncheon. The church has also suppressed a report that is critical of the greed and moral standards of bankers. Its only days since Gaddafi was killed at the hands of a mob apparently seeking vengeance for years of brutality - or else incited by French agents and oil-loving NATO types. Whatever, his spirit lives on in the wounds of those peaceful and unarmed protesters shot by rubber bullets in the past few days.

They said that the world would be a better place if Bin Laden was killed, Saddam seen to and Gaddafi gubbed. Thatcher sorted out the unions. Labour gave our schools and hospitals to the private sector. David Cleggeron said that we were all in it together. Despite all this, er, progress... fear still reigns.

Enjoy those pumpkins.

We are Hibernian

2011-10-24T20:10:00.002+01:00

Poor Hibs need the support. Calderwood just ain't doing it and attendances have fallen to around 8K. However my loyalties and long gone family lie in the west of the city with a club not short of its own problems. The empty seats at Easter Road won't see my arse for a while. Despite being an armchair supporter of Hearts, my tribalistic quotient is pretty low and I'm a firm believer that fitba fans should follow their local team. Any glory hunter in Edinburgh, Kilmarnock, Ayr, Stirling, Inverness, Fife or Perth can easily get on a train with a one-way ticket to revel in the 'glory' and imagined cultures of the Old Firm in Glasgow. It doesn't make you part of the glory though.

Hibs too are a Scottish club with Irish roots like Dundee Utd and the now defunct Dumbarton Harp. However, unlike Celtic FC, Hibernian who pre-date Celtic by a few years, are a Scottish club who celebrate and remember their roots without letting it fester into a peculiar anti-Scottish racism.

We are Hibernian looks at the experiences and memories of a wide variety of Hibs' supporters, including one or two well kent faces from the worlds of of music, art and literature. Ask Santa for it.

http://www.luath.co.uk/we-are-hibernian-the-fans-story.html

Are we no in the book?

The Colonel is dead - let the vultures descend

2011-10-23T22:21:00.001+01:00

In the Corporation where I used to work, one guy used the word 'Colonel' as rhyming slang for a half-day. 'Halfie' rhymes with Gaddafi, see? Its funny the things that come to mind when you see endless mobile phone videos of an ageing leader of his nation being hounded by bloodthirsty liberators before being summarily executed against the conventions of warfare.

Sure, Gaddafi was an evil bastard who for much of his 42 year reign tortured and killed his own people. However, this didn't seem to matter when he shook hands with Blair, Sarkozy, Obama or Berlusconi or dined with Condoleeza. More importantly for short-term economic gain, his evil deeds were ignored when signing business deals. Even supplying him with weapons or sending the SAS to train his 'elite' forces was not beyond the pale.

It doesn't seem to bode well the 'emerging' democratic Libya that they kick it off by murdering one of their own. Though to be fair, the idea that the West sees suspects as innocent until proven guilty or that the West values liberty and democracy, does seem to be very flexible in its definition. And here, I'm thinking about Turkey's continuing Apartheid-like state and treatment of the Kurds. Or maybe China and its own massacre of freedom-seeking protesters. Or Russia and its slaughter of Chechnyans. I guess the morals of the US, UK and France do not stretch to reprimanding those nations that are bigger or richer than us.

The usual London-based right-wing tabloids gloated over the bloody death of Gaddafi. But surely they're fooled if they don't think there's a sizable percentage of 'Brits' who'd eagerly deal out the same fate to Thatcher, Blair, Cameron or Clegg. Barack Obama may still be a hero some deluded 'progressives' but for how much longer? Noam Chomsky has already observed that under Bush, troublesome international boat-rockers were merely tortured. Under Obama, they're just executed like Al Awlaki and Bin Laden. See interview here from Russia Today.

The US's arm continues to be a long one. Sometimes, it just holds a puppet as we saw with French aircraft targeting Gaddafi's convoy as it fled Sirte. How can the attack on a fleeing 'enemy' coincide with the UN resolution to protect Libyan civilians? And what of the Libyan civilians who supported Gaddafi?

If anyone seriously thought that Barack Obama would bring a change to international politics and the cessation of US aggression to protect 'US interests' then think again. Remember, Margaret Thatcher too broke a conservative taboo. Having a woman prime minster was a step forward. With Thatcher though we then took several steps back. Will having a black US president be another game of snakes-and-ladders?

Lastly, our enterprise in Libya has cost us some £300million. Will the ConDems of London spend a similar amount to protect public services and jobs during a recession? Aye right. Though, I guess that Cameron is banking on the carve-up of war-ravaged Libya giving a valuable boost to British companies eager to profit from 're-building'. Or, maybe that Libyan oil will flow just a little easier our way. Then, a 'victorious' and canny Cameron can boast of his exploits in defeating Gaddafi and 'creating' wealth for Brits in his attempt to become a UK Prime Minister that really is democratically elected.

Some interesting reading btw...

The Libya Secret: How West Cooked Up “People’s Uprising”

BEHIND LIBYA’S “SPONTANEOUS REVOLUTION”
What the media has so relentlessly characterized as the “spontaneous uprising” of February 2011 was hardly spontaneous. It began even before the Arab Spring itself commenced in Tunisia during December of last year—and it was orchestrated by the West.

In October 2010, Qaddafi’s protocol chief, Nouri Al-Mesmari, arrived in France, purportedly for medical treatment. But he had his family with him, and the declared reason for his trip was a cover story. He almost immediately plunged into talks with the French and their intelligence service. He argued that Qaddafi was weak. He pointed out breaches in Qaddafi’s national security shield that made it possible to take him down. (More on this can be found on the subscription-newsletter site “Africa Intelligence.”)

And this from Asia Times Online: Why Gaddafi got a red card

The Sunni monarchical dictator in Bahrain stays; no "humanitarian" bombs over Manama, no price on his head. The House of Saud club of dictators stays; no "humanitarian" bombs over Riyadh, Dubai or Doha - no price on their Western-loving gilded heads. Even the Syrian dictator is getting a break - so far.

So the question, asked by many an Asia Times Online reader, is inevitable: what was the crucial red line crossed by Gaddafi that got him a red card?

'Revolution' made in France

There are enough red lines crossed by The Big G - and enough red cards - to turn this whole computer screen blood red.

Let's start with the basics. The Frogs did it. It's always worth repeating; this is a French war. The Americans don't even call it a war; it's a "kinetic action" or something. The "rebel" Transitional National Council" (TNC) is a French invention.

Liam Fox: lest we forget

2011-10-10T10:24:00.002+01:00

Excellent and interesting piece here by radical political sudger Ian Bone on the serial liar Liam Fox. Is there absolutely anything we should trust about this chancer?

This article is now a few years old, but it has been updated.

We know we’re on safe ground calling former Tory leadership candidate and now Snooty Cameron’s Shadow Defence Secretary Liam Fox – MP for Woodspring – a liar because the Courts have already decided he is one. In 2004 he was successfully sued for libel by Labour MP Martin Salter and ordered to pay £60,000 damages.

But we can now exclusively reveal that Liam has also been spectacularly “economical with the truth” in carefully constructing – in romantic soft focus – an “Indiana Jones meets Cassanova” public image for himself.

Peter Hennessy wrote in the Daily Telegraph in 2005 that “Dr Fox has been dogged by persistent rumours about his sexuality – as is often the case with Tory ‘bachelors’ in their 40s. “But,” went on Hennessy, “He has now put this to rest by announcing his engagement to Jesme Baird.”

It’s amazing how Tory leadership contests – William Hague anyone? – bring out the need in candidates to propose to their “long-term” girlfriends to squash those gay rumours and keep up the family man image for the blue rinse brigade.

Now we don’t give a flying fuck about Dr. Fox’s sexuality – that’s his business. But the politically convenient proposal to Jesme fits in a pattern of using women – from Natalie Imbruglia to Mother Teresa – to further his political career.

Famously – because it was peddled to many newspapers – Liam Fox was “once linked to the singer Natalie Imbruglia”, was “romantically linked to Natalie Imbruglia”, was “seen out with Natalie Imbruglia”, “lists among his friends Natalie Imbruglia” and on and on. How did this unlikely pairing of the former Neighbours rock chick and Liam come about?

Well, according to Liam, he was sent a pre-release copy of Natalie’s first album and sent back a few helpful thoughts on the tracks he’d heard – as you do! Natalie was so delighted to be given such unsolicited singing tuition from someone she’d never heard of that she immediately gave him credits on the album.

From these notes – carefully brought to press attention – Dr. Fox was able to construct his subsequent image as romantically linked to Imbruglia and “sexiest MP” and “ladies man”. The truth is that the whole story was contrived by a go-between with Imbruglia’s management and it’s doubtful if Dr. Fox met Imbruglia more than once. According to his latest spin “he still remains in touch with her” which must be very gratifying to her husband!

But Natalie was a mere wayside halt for Liam the Lothario! He is also friends with “Cindy from Eastenders” and – wait for it – Mother Tersesa!! Yes folks, “Liam lists among his friends Cindy from Eastenders and Mother Teresa”. There is no suggestion by Liam – even the Liar has limits – that he was “romantically linked” to Mother Teresa or that she was his “former love interest”. So how did yet another unlikely friendship develop? Did she send him a prayer and ask for his advice on it?

No. It materialises that Liam wrote her a letter – unsolicited again – and… wait for it… “she replied”!!! In Liam the Liar’s book that’s friendship!!! He never even met this imaginary friend. Never mind. Liam now has Natalie and Cindy on one arm and for added gravitas Mother (call me Teri) Teresa on the other.

But there’s more. We are told Liam goes to Stringfellows and – wait for it – “is friends with tennis players”!!! Who’s that then? A couple of old blokes knocking it about in Yatton?

Teasingly we cannot be told who these “tennis players” are – but – nudge, wink – we are led to think it might well be Maria Sharapinova or Andre Aggassi who Liam hangs out with. Certainly not little Jimmy from Easton-in-Gordano anyway. In fact the only people Liam doesn’t boast about meeting are his constituents!

But there’s more to Liam than posing in Stringfellows with supermodels. According to his admirers at The Sun – who can spot a fellow right wing nut job when they see one – “Liam enjoys daredevil pursuits”. Even more he enjoys telling us about them… Often. His PR tells us “Liam went sky-diving with Tesco check-out women” and has “been wing-walking on planes”. Blimey! Indiana Jones or Zorro or wot? Surprised he didn’t pick up the Holy Grail while he was at it!

You see, nothing undramatic ever happens to Liam. Even his medical interests are dramatic. Asked a simple question on mental illness Liam replied that he “had a friend who killed his wife during the last world cup”. Why did he feel the need to add the world cup detail? Does it add anything we need to know rather than making Dr. Fox seem even more exciting ‘cos his mates top their wives during penalty shoot-outs?

During his time as a junior hospital doctor in Glasgow Liam claims to have worked a 94 hour shift during which he performed nine caesareans with no sleep at all. Often this goes up or down a few hours but remarkable, all the same, to have performed nine non-elective caesareans in casualty in so few hours. But it was even more dramatic. He was working there at the time of the notorious Glasgow ice-cream wars and dealt with the horrific casualties. Whether this was at the same time as the caesareans is not clear – but, by golly, you wouldn’t put it past the fellow! Dr.Kildare meets Quincy!

And Dr. Fox has a remarkable record of saving people in dramatic circumstances. In the last year alone he has stumbled across four collapsed and dying strangers who he has had time to revive before getting his PR to phone the media to announce the latest miracle to an astonished world.

Good Samaritan, Indiana Jones, Quincy, Dr. Kildare, Simon Cowell, Peter Stringfellow, Zorro – Liam Fox is all of these. Of course we could also add hypocrite.

Dr. Fox’s wife-to-be works for the Roy Castle Lung Foundation and Dr.Fox has railed against the health effects of smoking. But did that stop the good doctor meeting his tennis chums at Wimbledon one year in a hospitality box sponsored by… Imperial Tobacco?

More worryingly he is also a right-wing ideologue in hoc to George Bush and his bunch of neo-cons and aims to re-create the American religious right in Britain.

Research in Dr. Fox’s private office is financed by Atlantic Bridge a UK-US think tank funded by Pfizer (the American pharmaceutical giant named as one of the ten worst companies in the world, accused of fraudulent and deceptive practices – how very appropriate!).

Atlantic Bridge – with the good doctor Fox at the helm – aims to recreate the golden age of the Thatcher-Reagan conservative axis across the pond.

During the last election Fox had seconded to him a leading Republican election strategist from George Bush’s team. Fox has been in Washington with Karl Rove, George Bush’s right hand man through whom he managed to get his George Bush photo opportunity for his leadership bid.
This is enough, presumably, to make George Bush a “close friend” to Liam’s way of thinking – but “not dating” officially just yet!

Incidently, Fox’s Thatcher admiration – she’s with him on Atlantic Bridge – knows no bounds. At her 80th birthday party the ever-pushy Dr. Fox tried to take over the lead singing of Happy Birthday to Thatcher from David Davis. Tory Blair had to step in to separate the squabbling brown nosers and lead the singing himself!

The cunning Fox is also leader of the Cornerstone Group of Tory MPs that calls for abortion time limits of 12 weeks and is against equal gay rights. After some hesitancy – caused by Fox’s pivotal role in the mendacious sacking of their euro-sceptic chum Howard Flight before the last election – the Cornerstone group rallied to Fox’s cause.

Who else might join them? Well Liam the Liar has this to say about his pal Lord Archer the perjuror, “the Tories would consider sympathetically any application by Lord Archer to rejoin the party”. It was Fox who warmly welcomed Archer at Thatcher’s birthday shindig – also finding to time to welcome the 90 year old Jack Profumo! What a nest of charlatans!

Like Archer, Fox has trouble distinguishing fact from fiction in his biography. Speaking to the Daily Telegraph he said, “Both my grandparents were miners”. Did they allow women down the pits then or do they just not count? He continued that “20 years ago it would have been impossible for someone from my background to be Chairman of the Tory Party”. The interviewer pointed out that Lord Tebbitt was Chairman 20 years ago. “Well 30 years ago no one from my background could become a Tory Prime Minister”. But Ted Heath’s dad was a builder pointed out the interviewer again. “Well 40 years ago…” countered Fox.

For Liam the Liar the truth is sure as hell inconvenient!

From: Ian Bone blog.

Gaelic Scrabble agus...

2011-10-09T16:10:00.000+01:00

According to John Angus MacKay of Bord na Gàidhlig, only 'the chattering classes' continue to deride Gaelic with snide comments in the media. Chattering in the Queen's English or Caithness English even, will only get you so far though. Some of those who chatter in Gaelic are now letting their actions do the talking. As the late Iain Noble would say, 'S e am beul a labhras, ach an gnìomh a dhearbhas'.

Yon language activist and ICT-whizz at Akerbeltz has been at it again. Not content with providing the world with Mozilla Firefox in Gaelic, he has now given us online 3D Scottish Scrabble. I've yet to download it and play it but I've got no doubt that this will be a cool way for the Tocasaid offspring to practise their Gaelic phonics. Check it out here, go to the bar on the left entitled program download:

http://scrabble.game-server.cc/wiki/index.php/Main_Page/gd

More installation info here on Foram na Gàidhlig:

http://www.foramnagaidhlig.net/foram/viewtopic.php?f=28&t=2030

The most interesting thing is that all this is the work of one committed Gaelic speaker and activist. Unfortunately, the investigative journalism of the Daily Express or Edinburgh Evil News doesn't stretch to finding out about Gaels who don't use tax payers' money.

It was a similar community-minded initiative that gave us Google in Gaelic too:

http://www.google.com/webhp?hl=gd

Gaelic has no 'word' for chili-con-carne nor for karaoke

In a slightly different language domain, I hear that Oi Polloi have finally finished work on another full length recording of several brand new raucous punk rock songs all written in the Scottish language. Again, tax payers' money doesn't seem to have played a part in the band getting together and using their Gaelic. As of yet, they have still to provide a Scottish-language update of their classic singalong anthem, 'Fuck Everybody who Voted Tory'. Perhaps Bord na Gàidhlig could help out here? 'Dùisg!' is due out next year. From Wiki:

Oi Polloi started singing in Scottish Gaelic in 1996, recording the Carson? EP, (released 2003), then recording and releasing the full length LP "Ar Ceòl Ar Cànan Ar-A-Mach" in 2006. They use the language in day-to-day communications. They see the use of Gaelic and other endangered languages as important to maintaining the biocultural diversity of life. They toured Europe with Seattle-based punk band Mill a h-Uile Rud, who sing only in Scottish Gaelic, and Les Ramoneurs de menhirs, who mostly sing in Breton. The band are currently in the process of finishing their second full-length Gaelic LP Duisg!, set to be released on Mayday 2012.

Lastly, it should be stated that I am actually in favour of more of that precious tax-payers' money being spent on our indigenous language. It is refreshing that the powers that be have finally made a commitment to increase the number of pupils entering Gaelic-medium education. There is a mountain of evidence to show that kids not only have the ability to acquire at least 2 or 3 languages from early childhood but that they benefit from it. Plus, its not rocket science to see that educating kids to be literate and conversant in 2 or 3 languages is better value for money than teaching them only one. Linguists will also tell you that there is also no such thing as a 'useless' language even though some tongues are lesser spoken than others. Using that argument, you might as well say that Dutch is also a 'minority' tongue as it is to some extent as rare as Gaelic on the world stage. Further, if Dutch, Danish and Swedish speakers also speak excellent English why should they bother with their native tongues?

The multi-faceted value of bilingualism has finally been given some time of day in Edinburgh Council's education department who say that Edinburgh's Gaelic school will open in August 2013. There is the small matter of an increased grant from Riaghaltas na h-Alba to cover the alleged damage caused by vandals to the 'mothballed' Bonnington School. This leads me to ask, does Edinburgh Council not insure its properties like ordinary people have to? If you too would like answers to this, why not ask for them at:

PrimaryGaelic@edinburgh.gov.uk

justask@edinburgh.gov.uk

Next...the Republican National Mod opens in Stornoway...

Auld Songs for Scottish Studies: Fichead Bliadhna

2011-10-01T18:36:00.003+01:00

Surely it is a human right for children to be educated about their own nation and culture, especially if part of their indigenous culture is a marginalised one. I have long wished for Scottish education to come up with something like 'Scottish Studies', if only to counteract the ignorance that regularly surfaces in our media regarding Scotland and her history and culture. This naked and shameless ignorance was this week displayed by two of our politicians - one a Tory and the other claiming to be a Scottish nationalist.

Gaelic was never spoken here...

Jackson Carlaw, a candidate for the leadership of the Toxic Party in Scotland and SNP MSP Paul Wheelhouse - that's him above with more hair than historical accuracy - both claimed that Gaelic was 'never' spoken in the south of Scotland. No evidence was offered for this probably because all evidence points to Gaelic being spoken throughout the Lowlands at one point or another. For example it was spoken in parts of Galloway until the 1700s with the last Gaelic speaker of Carrick reputed to be a Margaret McMurray who lived until the time of Robert Burns' birth. It survived on Lomondside, Stirlingshire, Aberdeenshire and Perthshire until recent decades. Despite this Wheelhouse oiled the wheels of the Scottish-cringe bandwagon and Carlaw gleefully hauled his rotund frame aboard with his usual baggage of ignorance and bigotry to deride Scotrail for having the nerve to put Scottish language on their station signs. And all this... in Scotland!

Can't these tax-paying rebellious Scots be crushed or something? Or else, could some lackey burn down their houses again and hoof them off to Canada? Certainly, Carlaw is regarded as something of a 'loose cannon', even amongst Tories, and has form on the racist front.

...nor here.

Whatever, its a topic that's been oft covered here. Most of the opposition to Scottish kids learning about Scotland has unsurprisingly come from Labour and Tory. Is the 'Union' so worth saving that it means that ordinary Scots will be impoverished because of tribal party loyalty? Paul Wheelhouse proves though that ignorance and stupidity is not the preserve of one party.

This auld sang is very apt. Runrig again. It lays bare the attitudes of the Anglicised education system in Scotland until at least the 1970s. The process that started in the 1600s when Inglis was renamed 'Scots' and Scottish as 'Gaelic' reached its nadir during a century of clearance aimed primarily at the Celtic or 'Erse' speaking population. The bitterness of those in power towards the 'barbarity' of the indigenous Scots language and its speakers continued after the Clearances with Gaelic speaking children variously having skulls hung around their necks, being belted or caned or just being ridiculed. As a policy, it was very effective. Even in areas of Scotland that were Gaelic speaking within the past century, some locals will confidently tell you that 'Gaelic was not spoken here'. Even some older Gaels still wonder at why people would actually want to learn Gaelic.

This was Runrig's 'Another Brick in the Wall' and it was born of first-hand experience. Even to some Scots, we are just Porridge Wogs. Fichead Bliadhna...

Ruith's a mhonadh
Ruith nam beann
'S mar sin dhan sgoil aig deireadh samhraidh
'Nar clann
Aig coig bliadhna dh'aois
'S gun facal Beurla 'nar ceann

Seo do leabhar
Sea do pheann
"Dean do leasan," thuirt iad riumsa
" 'S gunn eirich sibh suas anns an t-saoghal
'S gheibh sibh an adhart ann

Fichead bliadhna'airson firinn
B'fheudar dhomh feitheamh
'S b'fheudar dhomh lorg
Fichead bliadhn' de bhreugan
Thug iad eachdraidh air falbh bhuainn

Dh'ionnsaich sinn a leithid ann
Canan's bardachd, bardachd Bheurla
Ceol na Gearmailt
Eachdraidh na Spainnt
'S b'e sin an eachdraidh mheallt

Bhon sgoil do'n oilthigh chaidh sinn ann
A' leantail foghlum, tuilleadh foghlum
Mar amadan air deiradh streang
Seorsa de dh'fhoghlum 'nam cheann

Fichead bliadhna'airson firinn
B'fheudar dhomh feitheamh
'S b'fheudar dhomh lorg
Fichead bliadhn' de bhreugan
Thug iad eachdraidh air falbh bhuainn

Ach dh'eirich mi suas anns an t-saoghal
Fhuair mi deise, 's fhuair mi leine
Fhuair mi aite ann an suilean dhaoin
Fada bhon mhonadh mi'n drasd

Carson a chùm iad eadchraidh bhuainn
Innsidh mi dhut, tha iad gealltach
Mas èirich clann nan Gaidheal suas
Le ceistean sireach is cruaidh

Fichead bliadhna'airson firinn
B'fheudar dhomh feitheamh
'S b'fheudar dhomh lorg
Fichead bliadhn' de bhreugan
Thug iad eachdraidh air falbh bhuainn

Nuair a thoisich mi air lorg
Cha do chreid mi mo shuilean
Obair olc

Freedom of the moor
Freedom of the hill
And then to school at the end of summer
Children,
Five years of age,
Without many words of English

"Here is your book
Here is your pen”
Study hard that's what they told me
"And you will rise up in the world
You will achieve"

Twenty years for the truth
I had to wait
I had to search
Twenty years of deceit
They denied me knowledge of myself

I learned many things
The English language, the poetry of England
The music of Germany
The history of Spain
And even that was a misleading history

Then on to further education
Following education, more education
Like puppets on the end of a string
Our heads filled with a sort of learning

Twenty years for the truth
I had to wait
I had to search
Twenty years of deceit
They denied me knowledge of myself

And I did rise in the world
I found my suit, I found my shirt
I found a place in the eyes of men
Well away from the freedom of the moor

But why did they keep our history from us?
I'll tell you they are frightened
In case the children of Gaeldom awaken
With searching and penetrating questions

Twenty years for the truth
I had to wait
I had to search
Twenty years of deceit
They denied me knowledge of myself

"Many a thing I have seen in my own day and generation. I have seen the townships swept, and the holdings being made of them. The people being driven out of the countryside to the streets of Glasgow and to the wilds of Canada, such as them that did not die of hunger and plague and smallpox while going across the ocean. I have seen the women putting the children in the carts which were being sent from Benbecula and the Iochdar to Loch Boisdale, while their husbands lay bound in the pen and were weeping beside them, without power to give them a helping hand, though the women themselves were crying aloud and their little children wailing like to break their hearts. I have seen the big strong men, the champions of the countryside, the stalwarts of the world, being bound on Loch Boisdale quay and cast into the ships as would be done to a batch of horses or cattle in the boat. The bailiffs and the constable and the policemen gathered behind them in pursuit of them. The God of life and He only knows all the loathsome work of men on that day."

The weak in politics

2011-09-28T20:23:00.001+01:00

Watching the Labour drones at their 'conference' must leave poor David Icke feeling vindicated in his 'we are ruled by reptiles' theory. Ed Miliband and his Labour Party must be the most uninspiring bunch of wet sanitary towels I've ever seen since the Lib Dems. It may be unkind to say this but Milibland comes across as one of Icke's race of lizards who is desperately trying to get his message across to those of us who don't possess forked tongues and cold blood. I'm not sure about the mental capacities of iguanas but Milibland certainly has a short memory.

Miliband's audience in 'rapt' attention.

Sitting on his sun-warmed boulder at Labour's 'gathering to be lectured', the weird reptilian talked about the need to tackle rogue businessmen who tread on morals and people in order to make a fast buck. Who does he mean, I wonder? Is it Tony Blair, who with Iraqi blood still fresh on his hands, is now coining it on speaking tours while also masquerading as a 'peace envoy' in the Middle East? Or could it be the AlphaMale Dr John Reid? The one and only Baron of Cardowan, alleged sex-pest, fellow Iraqi war-criminal and 'consultant' to Group 4 Security?

Our Kingdom/ Open Democracy sheds some light on the 'nice' and ethical nature of G4S's business:

Given the numerous accounts in these reports of policy breaches, inadequately trained staff and both physical and mental damage caused to detainees while in the care of G4S — not to mention the death of Jimmy Mubenga after ‘restraint’ by G4S last year — it is unsurprising that the company scored so poorly with regard to human rights.

With regards to ‘political activity’, G4S pays £50,000 a year to former defence secretary John Reid MP (now Lord Reid) for 'strategic advice', an appointment made mere months before G4S were able to secure a lucrative four year MoD contract and while Reid was still a serving MP.

Danny Alexander is bad for the health of Scotland.

While Reid may be a hard-man, the same couldn't be said of the revolting Lib Dem non-entity that is Danny Alexander - he of white-pudding countenance. He's complaining that the Scottish Government spends too much money on vanity projects in the central belt. Does the suet-faced whinger think that we forget the LibDems voting to spend £millions on Edinburgh's farce of a tram project instead of dualing the A9? Perhaps the next time London-based Alexander gets his lard and oats in a fankle over the Scottish Government, he should reflect on why the Lib Dems were reduced to only 5 MSPs at this year's election.

Being reduced to a 'rump' is what could happen to the Scottish Conservative and Unionist Party - to give it its full name in which it revelled during the anti-Irish mania of the 20th century. The Tories have finally woken up to the fact that their social acceptability in the eyes of the Scottish public is roughly on a par with Fred West, Jimmy Hill and Jeremy Clarkson - all of whom could probably be touted as the new 'Scottish' leader with no discernible fall in ratings.


Scottish Tories unashamedly go for the populist vote.

Strangely enough, the two main 'Unionist' parties in Scotland seem desperate to gain their 'independence' from their masters in London. Surely this situation couldn't possibly work?

Under Blair and Brown's Labour government, the gap between rich and poor widened. The same greedy businessmen who Miliband now derides were often keen to deposit some of their 'fast bucks' into Labour coffers. I don't recall Labour refusing any of it. In the top picture here, we see the main players in English/ UK politics - all of them white, privately educated millionaires. As I've mentioned before, the leaders of the 'radical' far-right alternatives such as UKIP and the BNP are of the same stock. Somehow I just can't see that rich/poor divide narrowing any time soon.

The silver lining in all of this though is that these odious and uninspiring chancers may be the ones who preside over the emergence of an independent and hopefully progressive and egalitarian Scotland.

Free schools or freak schools?

2011-09-22T19:44:00.001+01:00

"Good morning Mr Murdoch"

Further to an earlier piece on the latest Tory knee-jerk reaction to have squaddies in schools, here's more, courtesy of Open Democracy. net, on the 'free schools' idea that has taken root south of the border. The freaks involved are not the poor kids but the assortment of unsavoury characters and organisations seeking to brainwash or indoctrinate the next generation. Not surprisingly, 'faith' groups have leapt at the chance fill youngsters' heads with more mumbo-jumbo. Surely if their faith is that strong why can't they wait until the kids are 16 and can weigh up the evidence with a more adult mind? Or are they unwilling to pit reason and evidence against this/ these omnipotent god/gods?

Also worrying though is the inclusion of such bastions of morality as News International. I guess this could mean an end to 'bad behaviour' in England's schools. Once News International have garnered enough info by eavesdropping on conversations in the smokers' corner or by reading the kids' emails, permission can then be obtained from either David Cameron, Nick Clegg or Ed Milliband - whoever is 'toughest' on crime at the time - to send in the dead-eyed Iraq vets to sort them out.

To quote:

ARK Schools managing director Lucy Heller, who has just this month opened two ‘free schools’, hails from Rupert Murdoch’s empire where she was managing director of News International subsidiary TSL Education. (Murdoch, by the way, is preparing to expand his education business, and the minister who has had breakfast, lunch and dinner with Rupert Murdoch more frequently than any other is . .. Michael Gove, a former News International employee).

Eòrpa reveals Labour's PFI disgrace

2011-09-21T15:43:00.001+01:00

Award-winning current affairs series Eòrpa returns to our screens tonight on BBC Alba. Desptie Eorpa being produced by Gaelic-speaking Scots, friends from outwith the 'UK' have commented that its probably the most outward looking television they've seen here.

As well as its usual coverage of issues from the European continent, tonight it looks at the PFI disaster which New Labour bequeathed to our grandchildren. While New Labour couldn't get away with openly shunting all our health and education services into the private sector, it did at least make it the landlord for many new schools and hospitals. This means that some of our schools will be paying private business for many years to come. The final cost of these buildings to the taxpayer will be many times what the establishment in question cost to build. Eorpa though reveals that this is just part of the problem.

According to Eorpa:

Tha cùmhnantan PFI air a bhith connspaideach bho thòisich iad ann am Breatann sna '90an. Buidhnean poblach a' pàigheadh companaidhean prìobhaideach an uibhir seo de dh'airgead gach bliadhna airson goireas a thogail is a ruith airson ùine shònraichte. An dèidh sin tha an togalach aig a' bhuidheann phoblach. Mar a tha Darren Linc ag innse ged-tà, tha Eòrpa air fianais fhaighinn gu bheil an talamh fo feadhainn dhiubh fhathast gu bhith aig a' chompanaidh prìobhaideach airson mòran bhliadhnaichean an dèidh dhan chiad chùmhnant airson an togail is an ruith tighinn gu crìoch.

PFI contracts have been the subject of controversy since they began to be used by the UK government in the 1990s. Public bodies paying private consortiums yearly to build and administer a new building for a certain number of years. Afterwards, the building is owned by the public sector. As Darren Laing reports though, Eòrpa has been given information that the land under and around some new PFI buildings is set to remain in private ownership for years after the initial building and running contract ends.

Not only are we indebted to private business for the next century, but in the here and now, these PFIs are making the every day running of schools more difficult than it should be. Should teachers or staff wish to decorate the school with children's work, then permission needs to be sought from the school 'business manager' first. After all, who would want blue-tac stains and thumb tacks ruining their precious cash cow? Even the local council has to seek permission to use the school and its grounds for publicity purposes.

A timely reminder of why conservatives and other slaves to big business - be they Labour, Tory or Lib Dem - cannot be trusted with public services.

Eorpa. Today on BBC Alba at 20.30.

Celtic's midfield and the Scottish Defence League?

2011-09-18T10:13:00.002+01:00

In the underwhelming aftermath of last week's EDL/SDL 'static' demo in Edinburgh, I found myself doing a spot of online research into those guardian angels who have taken it upon themselves to defend me - a Gaelic speaking atheist - from the 'Muslamic' hordes who apparently are massing somewhere between Berwick and Jedburgh. Anyway, during my rumaging through various forums and Facebook pages, I come across a certain Celtic FC midfielder, Scott Brown.

In case you didn't know, around 100 football hooligans claiming to represent the Scottish and English Defence Leagues as well as 'Casuals United' chose to congregate in the centre of Edinburgh against the wishes of the democratically elected local council. This lead to a huge police operation (and tax bill) and a headache for ordinary citizens wishing to go about their business on a Saturday afternoon.

Just why do they feel threatened by Muslims? Are they gonna try and erase our Scottish culture and identity? Will they beat our Scottish language out of our kids? Wait a minute... haven't Anglicised Protestant Scots already done that? And, don't we already have various versions of Abrahamic mania - like the Wee Frees and Catholic Church - who seek to force their violent religion on us?

Whatever, it was kind of interesting to see a current member of Celtic FC rub shoulders with the violent right-wing and sectarian/ racist (no-one really knows which yet) SDL.Celtic FC are of course, the 'nice' half of the Old Firm - a progressive force for liberté et égalité whose current chairman is former Commander of the British Army in Iraq, John Reid. Nuff said there.

The interesting bit is that Scott Brown is wearing Celtic colours and is obviously representing the club. The SDL guys appear to be representing their own organisation, something that Brown doesn't seem too concerned about. According to other comments on the Facebook page, fellow Celtic player Anthony Stokes apparently chose to stay in the vehicle. Proof maybe that Scott Brown is not the sharpest tool in the box?

Then again, if Scott Brown is displaying his lack of critical faculties, he's in good company. Even the SDL aren't too sure of who they are if picture below is anything to go by. This tattoo was proudly displayed by one SDL member on said Facebook page. This comes after the well circulated 'Muslamic rape gangs/ ray guns' video on You Tube. Maybe we should welcome more Muslims to Scotland as maybe they could teach the SDL and EDL a bit about the grammar of their own English tongue?

Join the SDL: high IQ not required

This leads me back to the question of just who and what the EDL and SDL are? Racist? Fascist? Sectarian? The vast majority of them seem to be involved in football violence - organised violent crime in other words. The 'EDL' seems to be just another excuse for a scrap. After all, why would ordinary Scots want a gang of criminals who can barely master the English language as self-nominated defenders? And why do they have a bee in their bonnet about Muslims? Having said that, it was interesting to read a complaint from a Rangers' fan who complained that he was attending a wedding with his South American girlfriend on the Royal Mile when she was racially abused. Other SDLers have been photographed throwing the Nazi salute while some of them profess support for Israel. They truly are a weird bunch. Maybe their biggest beef is with ordinary people who are lucky enough to have 5 fingers on each hand?

But, if they really want to 'defend' Scotland then... why don't they 'defend' small Scottish businesses on the 'traditional high-street' against voracious big business like Tesco? Will they 'defend' native flora and fauna like the Caledonian Forest or the capercaillie? Will they 'defend' the indigenous Gaelic language of Scotland? Will they 'defend' native crofting communities against the whims of rich landowners, be they Scottish or foreign? Will they 'defend' the rights of Scottish people to good living standards such as reliable and cheap public transport, free health care and good state education that's free from the interference of private companies? Or why don't they content themselves with saving stray cats?

The EDL and SDL make much of 'supporting our troops'. However, the respect has not been returned. War veterans in Scotland expressed opposition to SDL plans to march past the cenotaph in Glasgow. Little wonder. Why would some dignified old men want drunken football hooligans 'paying respect'? What are they gonna do? Urinate on the Cenotaph?

These guys are idiots and criminals. I'm not much of a royalist nor a Daily Mail 'law and order' type but I'd be very happy for Her Majesty's Police Service to give this lot some 'British justice'.

Respecting our troops? Or saluting English architecture?

Squaddies in free schools?

2011-09-09T20:25:00.001+01:00

There is one 'Union dividend' which us Scots should really appreciate and that is that under the Act of Union, our education system remained independent. It may have let us down at times - such as in the 1872 Education Act which effectively demanded an end to the use of any language other than English as a medium of education. This lead to more than a century of kids in Gaelic speaking communities from Stirlingshire to Sutherland having their community tongue forcibly removed. But, it was ours to keep and to improve.

Enlightenment has seen big strides in Scottish education since those dark days. The new Curriculum for Excellence promises to put research, inquiry and rational thinking into the heart of the classroom. Rather than teaching to the exam and filling kids' heads with lists of dates and facts, why not teach them to ask, to enquire and build their own skills?

England is stuck with a right-wing mentality and a top-down attitude to education. Fill their heads with 1066, 1945 and 1966. And, if they forget or object... lets get our unemployed squaddies in to 'give' them some discipline.

No wonder that Terry Deary, author of the Horrible Histories, hates schools. In a recent article in the Independent, he:

... brands the national curriculum the "biggest disaster in British history".

"W B Yeats said education is not filling a bucket but lighting a fire. The national curriculum has turned children into buckets. And teachers are just bucket-fillers now. Dividing knowledge into subjects is a very archaic approach to studying."

On top of elitist 'free' schools, the latest ConDem wheeze to appeal to goose-stepping chattering classes of Middle England is to put soldiers into schools. It seems incredible that in an age where anyone teaching a child in any form of the word is vetted for any kind of criminal record that politicians would want to put brutalised, war ravaged and institutionalised basket cases into 'teach' our kids is incredible. The British Army's track record on discipline ain't that hot either. Apart from the cases of torture in Iraq there are the numerous sad incidents of bullying in British Army barracks such as Deepcut which has seen many teenagers left dead, either through murder or suicide.

Just what untrained soldiers are meant to achieve is not explained. Trained teachers can use many methods to deal with unruly pupils. Teachers in Scotland's schools regularly work wonders with some of the damaged young products of our society. Their efforts may ultimately count for nothing but that is more likely than not a result of failures to address poverty, addiction and violence in many of our communities. General permissive attitudes in society towards anti-social behaviour haven't helped - and here, I'm thinking more of MP's, bankers and journalists than hoodies.

So, will Cameron's short, sharp, shock squaddies beat up wee Jimmy if pulls a face during a Maths lesson? Perhaps insolent wee Billy will just be stripped and urinated on?

In the meantime, I'll take my lessons from the kind of progressive and multi-lingual education systems we see in the Basque Country, Finland and Norway.

Porridge Wogs and other irritants

2011-08-31T20:51:00.001+01:00

As South Britain returns to normal after unprecedented scenes of rioting by inner-city youth - black in some places and white in others - the chattering classes of Anglodom - such as David Starkey - are looking for someone to take their anger out on. Strangely enough, the mass lawbreaking and disregard for the 'rule of law' is apparently a result of 'mass immigration'.

Did the Romans leave too many roads? Did the French leave too many of their words in the English language? Did the Norse leave too many Lewis Chessmen? Did the Italians use their network of chippies to ferment unrest? Or was it the Japs who cunningly stayed in their own country but flooded Britain with superior technology? Or did the English get drunk on too much excellent Belgian and German beer?

Or is it just a matter of skin colour? If so, how does that explain the white mobs who ran riot in Manchester or even sleepy Gloucester? And, did an army of 'asylum seekers' force Westminster MPs to fraudulently claim £millions in expenses? What about the snooping of News International journalists? I know that Murdoch is an Australian-cum-American but somehow I get the feeling that the English right-wing don't mean that kind of foreigner. Whereas Mr. Chav of Tottenham uses a brick to steal a television, the likes of Jim Devine MP or Sir Peter Viggers just used an expenses form.

But when reason prevails, kind of... they change the rules and resort to the kind of reasoning you get from Bible-bashers. The whites only rioted because they have 'become black'. What about the Scots then? Well, we're just Scottish and that itself is a good reason for hatred. Even self-hatred. When Alex Salmond correctly pointed out that these riots were not Scotland's problem, the combined forces of Unionism in Scotland could not step out of their comfort zones and defend Scotland's tourist trade and image overseas. Scotland does indeed have problems - crime and violence included - but these riots were patently not happening in the 'UK'.

Starkey is strangely reminiscent of the Top Gear crew. As Steve Cougan observed of Jeremy Clarkson and his snide comments about Mexicans, these guys are like the school bullies. Very insecure and eternally worried that they may become the school whipping boy. These are the kind of boys who would love to be on the football terraces with the lads but are scared in case they get picked on themselves for being posh or gay. Instead, they ferment hatred of others and use their shared sense of Englishness to form bonds. Rumours are spread... did you hear that...

The immigrants are flooding in and taking our jobs?
'Muslamic' rape gangs are targeting our women?
Rap music and hoodies are corrupting our youth?
The Irish are thick?
The Scots take English money?
Gaelic roadsigns cause accidents and cost money?
The guy in the curry-shop supports Al Qaeda?
10% of every Runrig record sold goes to the Real IRA?
Overpaid teachers are teaching homosexuality?

Gimp masked up and good to go.

This may be especially true for Starkey. His homosexuality should not be an issue but I get the feeling that some of his new racist friends might not think so. Stop immigration? Cool. Teach school children that homosexuality is entirely natural? Hold on a minute Davy boy...

It reminds me of a commemorative rally for Franco held in Madrid a few years ago where the Castillian gentry stood shoulder to shoulder with Nazi boneheads in one solid right-handed salute. Here though, we have the likes of Starkey, Clarkson, the Tories, UKIP, the BNP leadership assuming the command while the proles of the EDL do the 'street work'.

The fact is that to the forces of conservatism in Britain - we are all wogs. If you're not black or an immigrant then... you're a trade unionist, single-mother schemie on benefits, drug taker, Gaelic speaker who has the nerve to demand some services for his/ her tax money, dangerous atheist, lawless hoodie dancing at illegal parties, dirty hippie, Gypsy traveller etc...

Koombyah my lord.

Lastly, the Christian soldiers of the EDL and their comrades in North Britain have been prevented form holding a march in Edinburgh. At first I thought that this may have been due to sex-equality legislation as the EDL, in common with their fellow extremists in Islamic groups, seem to be entirely male. Something which Starkey would no doubt enjoy. Both groups also seem to have a penchant for religion and masks. However, Edinburgh's coonsull took the uncharacteristically sensible step of telling the football thugs of the EDL to do one.

Others have commented on all these issues too. Check these out...

An open letter to those who condemn looting

Look at England's urban spaces: the riots were inevitable

Incredibly, Peter Oborne in the Daily Telegraph also waded in with a dose of reason.

The moral decay of our society is as bad at the top as the bottom

Damn or fear it, the truth is that it’s an insurrection

Ian Bone: Put an end to violence.

Sunshine on Leith.

Spot the hooligan

2011-08-14T21:16:00.000+01:00

In the current angst ridden climate of soul-searching and moral debate, Tocasaid feels obliged to chuck in its six cents worth. One of these men is a danger to society. To help you guess, some here's some clues:

One grew up on an estate where he didn't have to work and had everything provided for him.
One man has admitted to causing criminal damage to a posh restaurant as a member of school gang.
One has a close work colleague and 'friend' who is a convicted arsonist.
One has a friend, known as 'Boris', who has also been involved in vandalism whilst in a school gang. Apparently, he now 'runs London'.
One is the leader of a large 'crew' who are currently engaged in killing and mass destruction in a north African country.
One has a close friend and 'soul mate' who has been convicted of being a peeping-tom and of invading others' privacy.
One is 'top dog' in a gang of swindlers who have defrauded the tax payer - that's YOU - of millions of pounds in order to give themselves a decadent life of luxury. And duckhouses for their ponds.

Having worked out the correct answer, the next question is 'what do we do with this scumbag?'. Answers on the back of a Job Seeker's Allowance Form please.

Nick Clegg and Nick Clegg

2011-08-11T19:37:00.001+01:00

Dear Tocasaid,

I wonder if there is any relation between the Nick Clegg who last year predicted 'Greek style-riots' under Tory rule as a response to widespread public service cuts - see attached video below - and the Nick Clegg who this week said that the riots under Tory rule were not anyway caused by political circumstances. The similarities between the two men are striking though they would appear to come from opposite sides of the political divide. The Clegg from last year was an apparently well-intentioned Old Etonian millionaire with professed left-of-centre progressive views. The Clegg from this year is also an Old Etonian millionaire but one with a repugnant right-wing viewpoint.

Are they by any chance related? We should be told.

Yours,
Confused,
North Britain

England's riots - Dave gets tough

2011-08-10T21:30:00.000+01:00

Dave fi the estate is getting tough. But who is he gonna fight? Maybe his old hoodie pals from yon hug-in? Fortunately, the Daily Mail, the Daily Telegraph and a coded message on a ouija board from Oswald Mosely have let him know where the blame lies...

blecks, atheists, gays, punks, bad teachers, socialism, immigrants, multiculturalism, Scottish nationalists, single mothers, the Irish, the European Union, transsexuals, Polish immigrants, lesbians, ~~Amy Winehouse~~, Welsh speakers, Libya, Gerry Adams, the Guardian, Gaelic speakers, squatters, Sikhs, Viz Comic, alcopops, hooded tops, Arthur Scargill, blecks, rappers, Lenin, ~~Jade Goody~~, sex education in schools, Kenny MacAskill, the unemployed, Gypsies, asylum seekers, the miners, hippies, the Last Tango in Paris, cyclists, Muslamic extremists, liberals but not Lib Dems, the internet, Bob Marley, cannabis users, French farmers, ravers, the trade unions, lager louts, sandal wearers, Ken Loach, political correctness, Channel 4, Alex Salmond, CND, Crass, Tommy Sheridan, Belgians, sex on television, Richard Dawkins, blecks, atheists, gays, punks, bad teachers, socialism, immigrants, multiculturalism, Scottish nationalists, single mothers, the Irish, the European Union, transsexuals, Polish immigrants, lesbians, ~~Amy Winehouse~~, Welsh speakers, Libya, Gerry Adams, the Guardian, Gaelic speakers, squatters, Sikhs, Viz Comic, alcopops, hooded tops, Arthur Scargill, blecks, rappers, Lenin, ~~Jade Goody~~, sex education in schools, Kenny MacAskill, the unemployed, Gypsies, asylum seekers, the miners, hippies, the Last Tango in Paris, cyclists, Muslamic extremists, liberals but not Lib Dems, the internet, Bob Marley, cannabis users, French farmers, ravers, the trade unions, lager louts, sandal wearers, Ken Loach, political correctness, Channel 4, Alex Salmond, CND, Crass, Tommy Sheridan, Belgians, sex on television, Richard Dawkins, blecks, atheists, gays, punks, bad teachers, socialism, immigrants, multiculturalism, Scottish nationalists, single mothers, the Irish, the European Union, transsexuals, Polish immigrants, lesbians, ~~Amy Winehouse~~, Welsh speakers, Libya, Gerry Adams, the Guardian, Gaelic speakers, squatters, Sikhs, Viz Comic, alcopops, hooded tops, Arthur Scargill, blecks, rappers, Lenin, ~~Jade Goody~~, sex education in schools, Kenny MacAskill, the unemployed, Gypsies, asylum seekers, the miners, hippies, the Last Tango in Paris, cyclists, Muslamic extremists, liberals but not Lib Dems, the internet, Bob Marley, cannabis users, French farmers, ravers, the trade unions, lager louts, sandal wearers, Ken Loach, political correctness, Channel 4, Alex Salmond, CND, Crass, Tommy Sheridan, Belgians, sex on television, Richard Dawkins... and Banksy.

http://www.banksyunmasked.co.uk/

England's Arab Summer - time to name and shame

2011-08-09T10:17:00.000+01:00

As someone old enough to remember the riots of Brixton and Toxteth in the 1980s as well as the mass unemployment caused by a hated Tory government, there's a sense of deja-vu about this - our very own Arab Summer.

The morality of today's rioters isn't that clear cut though. On one hand, its not just cops and shops that are the targets but ordinary people's homes. On the other hand, if you're an unemployed person, young or middle-aged, and have sat and watched greedy bankers wreck the economy and be rewarded with fat bonuses as well as corrupt Westminster MPs line their pockets then you may think, 'Well, they lead, I'll follow'.

Add to that mixture, the revelations of Rupert Murdoch's sick News International empire break the law by spying on ordinary people and by paying corrupt police for information. The police themselves seem to kill with impunity and when held to account are never charged with murder like other murderers. As well as that, we've seen successive Labour and Tory governments override international law and wage war on small 'undemocratic' nations such as Iraq, Afghanistan and now Libya. We've heard Cameron talk in glowing terms of the rioters in Syria and Libya though the freedom fighters on the streets of Bahrain were a bit too close to upsetting his oil-rich pals in Saudi Arabia.

"But" says the Daily Mail and outraged conservative navel-gazers everywhere, "if these people want change, they can just vote."

Those 'nice' rioters in Syria.

To be frank though, just who the fuck are unemployed English youths of any racial background meant to vote for? Every single one of the big three Ugly Sisters of Westminster - Labour, Tory and Lib Dem are run by privately educated millionaires. Even the lunatic fringe parties of UKIP and the BNP are lead by wealthy wide-boys with posh accents. The present ConDem government can only just scrape together more than 50% of those who voted with only 1 in 3 voting for Cameron and those voters mostly in England. No wonder Gaddaffi thinks that the UK has no right to challenge his leadership of Libya.

England and by extension, Scotland, have some of the most iniquitous societies in Europe. Under Labour, the gap between rich and poor actually widened. The whole Labour/ Tory circus at Westminster is like some kind of mutual masturbation love-in. Tony Blair and Gordon Brown were inspired by Thatcher. David Cameron was inspired by Tony Blair. Nick Clegg is inspired by David Cameron. In London, we have the buffoon Boris Johnson - the kind of Eton caricature who is inspired by lighting his own farts.

As things stand the best employment opportunities for many young people in parts of England and Scotland are in the armed forces. That's your choice - dole queue or Taleban target. Why seek to hold the Olympic torch when you can go and torch the Armani store?

Back in the day, I remember a bus load of Hearts' supporters - many of them striking miners - returning from an away game cheer loudly when the radio announced the death of a policemen in rioting in London. Today, there will be many who look to England and say, 'destroy our jobs and communities, destroy society and this is what you get'.

The need for Scotland to divorce itself from this kind of society and aim for a progressive and egalitarian society as we see in the small Nordic nations has never been greater.

Daily Mail readers with guns

2011-07-30T10:37:00.004+01:00

Years ago, there was an Anti-Fascist Action leaflet that spoke to working class voters of the realities of the BNP. With a montage showing the then Tory leader John Major superimposed onto the booted physique of a Nazi skinhead, the title said 'BNP: Tories in flight jackets'. I also remember seeing a news item on a commemorative rally in Madrid for fascist leader Franco just a few years ago. The crowd was a curious mixture of wealthy Castillians and nazi boneheads. I wonder who called the shots there? With Norwegian uniform freak and self-confessed "Christian conservative" having apparently name-dropped Gr8 Brittish right-wing blawhards like the Daily Mail's Melanie Phillips and even Jeremy Clarkson in his manifesto, should M15 switch its attention away from Islamic extremists to Daily Mail readers?

Of course, the nice blue rinsed middle-English readership of the Daily Mail and Express would not condone such an action. However, the constant drip, drip of prejudice that emanates from their pages is unquestionably designed to stir up hatred against anyone they don't like, be it Muslims, single-mothers, gays or Gaelic speakers.

And that's the strange thing. Conservatives by definition should seek to 'conserve' their local environment. It's obvious that they baulk at the influx of dark-skinned foreigners while welcoming white-skinned foreigners, such as Rupert Murdoch. However, the British isles have always been multi-cultural or in a state of cultural flux.

There have always been significant numbers of people who followed other gods or none. Or who spoke different languages, such as Scottish, Irish, Norn or Welsh or even the Latin of the church and the French of the royal families. There has always been homosexuality. There have always been 'illegitimate' children. There have always been asylum seekers or just migrants. There have always been people seeking to help others in their communities and communities seeking to help individuals. I'm thinking here of those who were too old or physically unable to work being given a share of the seabirds on St Kilda or the guga in Ness. Or even remote islanders giving food and shelter to shipwrecked Spanish Armada sailors washed up on Hebridean beaches. Or even the Asian travelling salesmen of the 1930s who learned Gaelic to ply their trade in the Scottish Gaidhealtachd and were given a warm welcome - see Iain Crichton Smith's An Duine Dubh.

Call it socialism maybe.

I don't live in hope but perhaps the day will come when conservatives accept the diversity of their local environment. It is ironic, but kneejerk xenophobic warmongering moralistic conservatism - in all its guises from New Labour to the Tories to UKIP to the EDL to Anders Breivik to the Roman Catholic Church and Orange Order or Islamic militants- is more of a threat to society than any of their usual bugbears. Norway for example has been a mainly progressive nation since winning its independence in 1905. However since then the most significant assaults on Norwegian life and society have come from the Nazis and Breivik.

We used to hear much here of Sinn Féin's 'ballot box and the armalite' strategy. Perhaps an unofficial and unmentioned strategy links the likes of the Daily Mail, Daily Express and even Jeremy Clarkson to Breivik and those in the EDL? Some talk, others act?

Whatever, I tend to agree with AFA's old maxim that there should be 'no platform for fascists'. Fascism doesn't start with concentration camps - or gun massacres, that's where it ends.

For more topical reading, check out:
http://bellacaledonia.org.uk/2011/07/25/the-roots-of-the-far-right/
http://libcom.org/history/articles/afa-anti-fascist-action
http://beatingthefascists.org/
http://www.justseeds.org/blog/2009/09/interview_with_martin_lux_anti.html
http://www.mailwatch.co.uk/forum/

Update:
Interesting piece on the proposed EDL march in London and how it should be dealt with. Its interesting too to read in one of the comment links that the EDL are now trying to distance themselves from former members who may have had contact with Breivik. I guess it's not good PR for an organisation that claims to have 'Christian European' values at heart to be exposed as being not only a mentor for but complicit with someone who massacred innocent 'Christian Europeans'. The fact remains that the EDL and militant Islamists are just different cheeks on the same arse.
http://ianbone.wordpress.com/2011/07/29/dont-ban-the-edl-march-in-tower-hamlets/

Murdoch: London Calling

2011-07-11T17:52:00.001+01:00

What better way to get your head around the enormity of Wappinggate, Rebekahgate, Tapgate, Filthgate etc than by kicking back with the Clash on loud and a large dram of Bunnahabhain. Coming hot on the heals of 'Duckhousegate' and the MPs' expenses scandal then it's little wonder that an increasing number of Scots are seeking independence from a London that seems to be sinking in corruption. Certainly, after watching Michael Portillo on Newsnight last week, I fail to see a 'sense of fair play' as one of the constituent parts of the 'British' identity.

This latest episode in shame stems from the megalomania of an Australian though. Not only were child murder victims, dead soldiers' families and other people, famous or not, deemed worthy of having their phones bugged but the ordinary staff on News of the World are being shat on too. Murdoch senior and Murdoch junior are at this point, standing by their hypocrite of a former editor.

Upon receiving a lengthy communique from James Murdoch last week, ordinary staff thought that is was to announce the resignation/ sacking of Rebekah Brooks. But no... somewhere down in the 18th paragraph, ordinary staff were told that it was they who were losing their jobs.

Murdoch's middle finger as seen on Twitter.

News International are bloodied but unbowed. They see the whole mess as being the fault of the Guardian or the chinless and unconvincing millionaire leader of the Labour Party. There has been no apology. Worse of all, there seems to be a determination to rub salt into the wounds by establishing a 'Sun on Sunday'.

Joe Strummer would have loved it...

The ice age is coming, the sun's zooming in
Meltdown expected, the wheat is growing thin
Engines stop running, but I have no fear
'Cause London is drowning, and I live by the river

Seeing Rebekah Brooks hounded by packs of journos and angry protesters has brought some light relief though. After all, the Sun and News of the World has whipped up more than enough hate of others over the decades: from glorifying the deaths of hundreds of Argentinians with their 'Gotcha' headline to slandering the dead and injured at the Hillsborough tragedy to inciting mobs of morons to attack paediatricians in a campaign to 'out' paedophiles.

Those British boots go kick Bengali in the head
Police sit watchin'
The newspapers been read
Who cares to protest
After the attacker fled
Out came the batons and
The British warned themselves

Poor Rebekah, like the harassed youth in the 'Guns of Brixton'...

The money feels good
And your life you like it well
But surely your time will come
As in heaven, as in hell

Capitalism is dog eat dog, a constant cycle of boom and bust. Murdoch's support for Thatcher indirectly lead to death of much of our industry. Let's hope his empire starts to crumble as well.

If you can play on the fiddle
How's about a British jig and reel?
Speaking King's English in quotation
As railhead towns feel the steel mills rust water froze
In the generation
Clear as winter ice
This is your paradise

Moral compass meltdown

2011-07-05T17:20:00.000+01:00

Poor Tommy Sheridan. He may or may not have fucked up. He may or may not have fucked a woman or two outside of precious wedlock. Whatever, he felt the wrath and vengeance of Rupert Murdoch's News of the World - that beacon of morality, shining its light out over a dark sea of filth where only the likes of sodomites, single-mothers and asylum seekers sail.

Its a bad news day for the guardians of morality.

First, we find out that the newspaper that was so outraged by claims that Sheridan took part in '3 in-a-bed' romps was bugging the mobile phone of murdered schoolgirl Milly Dowler while she still remained 'missing'. The News International stable is infamous for tasteless or outright offensive practises - remember the Hillsborough tragedy anyone? - but surely its sister paper, the NoTW, takes the biscuit for lowlifery. Is it any wonder that tabloid journalists usually occupy the same rung on the ladder of shame as do child molesters and Margaret Thatcher?

Then we find out that Sheridan may have been spared prison. It seems as if some vital emails in the possession of News International went 'missing in Mumbai' prior to the trial which saw Sheridan's former socialist comrades cosy up in bed with dirty Murdoch's organ.

AC Grayling thinks that tabloid journalism in the UK is a major impediment to a more informed and progressive society. Its hard to argue with him.

From the point of view of culture, and in particular from the point of view of British culture, a lot of visitors to the United Kingdom say how surprised they are by the unpleasant, rather raw nature, rather degraded and superficial nature of popular culture in the United Kingdom. The tabloid newspapers, the popular magazines, which are all about “celebrities”, which are all about a certain kind of voyeurism — they hunt in packs, the tabloid press, chasing after people, first to extol them and then to tear them down when they're up. And that there's a presumption that if a nail sticks up, it's got to be hammered down, so anybody who's a bit special in society or sticks out in a certain way is likely to get a hammering by the tabloid press. AC Grayling

If this is all rather depressing then news from the last tribal outpost in Western Europe might cheer you up. The deeply religious people of Northern Ireland are so hungry for flesh that 'houses of ill repute' are doing a roaring trade. This, despite the likes of blawhard bigot Doctor Reverend Iain Paisley preaching to his flock that if they want to be 'loyal' to God and Ulster then they first need to stop sex before marriage, oppose sodomy and spend each Sunday in church. His Roman Catholic 'counterparts in the magic arts' preach the same except they're not too bothered about the Sabbatarian bit as long as you shake your rosaries every once in a while.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-14021724

This comes not long after Peter Robinson's clean-living, family values campaigner and homo-hating wife Iris was found to be indulging in a bit of sodomy herself with a younger man that was not her husband.

Amen.

Out of the frying pan into the fire for Scotland's Presbyterians

2011-06-30T21:02:00.000+01:00

There's a battle in my garden with weeds. An aggressive specimen introduced from the Middle East has been wreaking havoc. The only good thing is that this specimen will, in time, apparently destroy itself - constantly breaking up into smaller and smaller pieces until there's nothing left but some annoying little nodules that wear orange sashes and become animated at the sound of a flute.

The genus is Abraham. The species is Christianity. The varieties are legion though there are several that fall within the Calvinist category. Sadly, these have taken root in Scottish soil and despite the efforts of various stalwart gardening experts from David Hume to Hugh MacDiarmid and Iain Crichton Smith, this poisonous weed still thrives in some quarters. Even calling in modern day pest-control experts such as Richard Dawkins and Iain Banks hasn't solved the problem.

The Church of Scotland sub-variety has been in turmoil of late. This is the creation that decreed that the Highland Clearances were the work of god. God had, apparently, chosen idle syphilitic landlords to get rid of poor crofters who sinned against the guy in the sky by living unprofitably on land that could instead by occupied by god's chosen sheep. In later years it orchestrated a vitriolic campaign against a Roman variety of this weed whose seeds were brought to Scotland from neighbouring Ireland. In recent times, the Auld Kirk has become more benign and in a fit of enlightenment recently allowed gay men the right to preach the musings and prejudices of Semite tribes. Some local pods rebelled against this and a few seeds have now ejected themselves and joined with their Free Presbyterian variety.

However, the 'Wee Free' variety is also not without its problems. After years of playing 'bad cop' to the Kirk's 'gay cop', It recently gave the godly green light to music in the house of god. This may seem incredible to most normal people who like a tune or two but many in the Free Kirk still contend that music in any form is the work of Satan and will only worship their god with ancient psalms. Each to their own, I guess. I wonder though what the stern and dour seed pods of the Wee Frees will make of a new crop of all-singing, all-dancing happy clappy Church of Scotlanders joining in?

Park on the Isle of Raasay

The Wee Frees are to reason and progress what the Lib Dems are to honesty and principles. Recently, one Wee Free supporter on BBC Radio nan Gaidheal, bemoaned 'the passing of the Sabbath' on the Isle of Lewis after Caledonian MacBrayne decided to run a Sunday service. His logic was that were humans to disregard the Good Lord's commandments regarding work and play on 'his' day then it wouldn't be long before 'thou shall not kill ' went out the window too and murder and mayhem would ensue. As this man's church also believes that we are all sinners anyway, no matter how heterosexual or sabbatarian we are, and that we are all destined for hell, then one has to ask why a Sunday sail on the Minch would make much difference?

One wonders if all these homophobic Calvinists will insist on upholding other parts of "God's word"? Shall their be stonings of tattooed men? Will adulterers be hung from lamposts? Will a dour but godly minister inspect every new born boy to check that his foreskin has been sliced off? Will there be a campaign to stop men conversing or worse, touching, their wives during their 'monthly uncleanliness'? Indeed, I understand that Deuteronomy even frowns upon women who wear 'men's clothes' as it is 'an abomination unto the Lord'.

Or will the 'gentle churches' content themselves with, as Sorley Maclean put it in his poem 'Ban-Ghaidheal', to speak about the lost state of our miserable souls?

Sing if you're glad to be British

Talking of music and homosexuality though... those Village People of Northern Ireland and their followers will take to the streets of Glasgow this weekend. This tiny but very aggressive variety of Abrahamic horticulture usually goes under the name of the 'Orange Order'. They proclaim their opposition to the aforementioned Roman variety due to its love of 'idols' (that means statues, pictures and photographs to me and you). However, their wind-blown meanderings along West of Scotland byways often sees them miss the entrance to their churches and instead end up inside the football stadium of Ibrox. It has also been pointed out that as they march under large banners of King William of Orange that they too are guilty of 'idolatry'. While this pedantry is nothing that a good dose of laxative wouldn't solve, it has also been observed that 'King Billy' was reputed to have 'enjoyed' more homosexual liaisons than all the gay ministers in the Church of Scotland put together.

Funny that. Nothing like religion to give you a good moral compass and consistency of disapproval.

Auld sangs for Armed Forces Day

2011-06-25T16:50:00.000+01:00

Or, something in response to the British establishment's conscience salving exercise to make their cannon fodder feel valued. We are all taught at school that violence is wrong. Violence only leads to more violence. Yet, since the justifiable defeat of the Nazis, certain nations have waged unjustifiable war on other smaller nations. The UK and USA are the chief culprits.

Scotland most of all seems to suffer from a strange complex which often takes pride in its role as supplier of young adults ready to die for others' battles. Our young men, for three centuries, have been used to bolster England's many wars abroad. History tells us that before the Act of Union, Scotland traded peacefully with its European neighbours. After the Act of Union, England's enemies became our enemies. The remnants of our indigenous and tribal clan system, imperfect as it was, became moulded into fighting regiments. They fought and died for England in most corners of the globe and they received little in return.

In Glasgow, while a handful of Scottish merchants grew rich on stolen wealth from the New World, momentous architecture was erected while many tens of thousands 'rotted as they lived' - to paraphrase Sorley Maclean. In the Highlands, villages were cleared by greedy landlords, often while the menfolk were fighting in the British Army overseas. In Edinburgh too, refugees from Irish famine and Highland clearance turned the Grassmarket area into a Celtic slum where Irish or Scots Gaelic was the lingua franca.

Even after World War I, there was no land fit for heroes and tens of thousands were forced to emigrate to the likes of Canada. One of them was the 'Crann Tara' of the Gaelic language, Murdo MacPhàrlain - Bàrd Mhealaboist - who himself emigrated only later to return and fight in WWII. One of his later poems lambasts the 'British Hitlers who have destroyed my race'. As an old man in the 1970s and 80s he was a vociferous opponent of the militarisation of the Western Isles and the stationing of a NATO base in Stornoway. A campaign which was also vocalised in the medium of Gaelic rock music by the then young and rebellious Runrig:

Nis leugh t-eachdraich, fosgail suil
Anns gach linn mu dhoigh an Airnm
Stampadh air na croitean seagail
'S beathannan og aig gillean Uibhist

Cha deid mise gu an righ
Cha deid mise an corr a shabaid
O Lunnain mheallt, a Bhreatuinn fhoilleil
Cha seas mi ach 'son sith nan eilean

Now read your history, open your eyes
To every generation and to the ways of the military
Stamping on the rye in the crofts
And the young lives of the Uist boys

But I cannot go "for the King"
I cannot fight anymore
The deceit of London, the treachery of Britain
I'll only support peace in the islands

(Runrig - Tir an Airm )

Lessons were not learned and after World War II, severe poverty still afflicted those who returned despite subsequent provisions like the NHS. In Knoydart - see previous article - seven crofters whose families had lived there for generations were forced to 'raid' the land in order to scrape a living. The laird in question was Lord Brocket - a man so friendly with Hitler that he had even attended the Führer's 50th birthday party in the company of the Duke of Buccleuch. The then Labour government came down firmly on the side of.... Lord Brocket and the rebellious crofters went to jail. The episode was recalled in Hamish Henderson's poem, 'The Men of Knoydart'.

Today, many Scots are still 'proud' of the contribution of our young people to the armed forces. Even when they are not used to defend 'Britain' but are sacrificed in more needles wars for oil - Iraq (twice), Afghanistan and now Libya. Strangely, the equally oppressed people of Syria, Bahrain, the Yemen, Chechnya and China are not deemed valuable enough to save. British morality doesn't stretch to bigger nations that would 'kick its ass' or that don't possess large quantities of oil.

A friend from the continent has noticed our strange obsession with war. I too have to ask, why are we glorifying this? Is it just a coincidence that many of our young soldiers come from areas of high unemployment? If we are to use socialist economics to provide employment - for some - then why not have the young men and women of Alness, Moray, Lewis or Lanarkshire etc making solar panels, wind turbines, trams or planting forests? Why should our respect for fellow Scots who are prepared to give their lives for others always take the form of war memorials? Better renewable energy surely than body bags and coffins draped in the Butcher's Apron.

Scotland has a martial history but, like clan battles and witch burning, we should leave our martial heroics in the past.

Fuaim a Bhlair
The Noise Of Battle

Fuaim a' bhlair, ceol a' chogaidh
An guth 's an naire
Air cluasan eachdraidh
Sgith dh'an bhlar, sgith dh'an chogadh
An t'eallach 's an cradh
Air gualainn eachdraidh

Blàr nan Gaidheal, an Gaidheal 's an codadh
An fhuil 's am bas
Air braighean eachdraidh
Fuaim a' bhlair, ceol a' chogaidh
An guth 's an naire
Air cluasan eachdraidh

Saidhdear mi sa' Fhraing 's sa Ghearmailt
Saidhdear mi air raointean Chanada
Saidhdear mi san Spàinn san Eadailt
Saidhdear mi 'nam aghaidh fhein an Eirinn

Sa Bheurla...

The noise of battle, the music of war
The voice and the disgrace
In the ears of history
Tired of the battle, tired of the war
The burden and the pain
On the shoulders of history

The battle of the Gael, the Gael and the war
The blood and the death
On the braes of history
The noise of battle, the music of war
The voice and the disgrace
In the ears of history

I have soldiered in France and Germany
I have soldiered on the plains of Canada
I have soldiered in Spain and Italy
I have soldiered against my fellow Gael in Ireland

Runrig's Recovery album from 1981 must stand as one of the most political and groundbreaking albums ever from a Scottish rock band. Even without the context of young men, punished at school for speaking their home and community language and coming from a deeply religious society where rock music was frowned upon but that was still rich in ancient oral culture, it was an angry but overdue protest. Public Enemy spoke for their people, Runrig spoke for Gaelic Scotland. The record mixes hard rock music with searing bagpipes, waulking type drumming, Gaelic vocables and even singalong choruses.

Most of it is unashamedly in Gaelic with no translations provided. The sleevenotes and introductions to the songs are in English though. Today, 30 years on as Edinburgh 'celebrates' Armed Forces Day while the local council seeks to deny local parents a Gaelic school by using deceit, they are more relevant than ever.

Don't download it. Buy the CD or vinyl. The cover and sleeve are the best parts of an outstanding piece of work. Lastly, a quote from 'Mightier than a Lord' by historian Iain Fraser Grigor:

Year by year in batches of thousands they were sent to follow the battle flag of the Empire. It had been a Highland defence that followed the broken wreck of Cumberland’s army after the disastrous day at Fontenoy when more British soldiers lay dead upon the field than fell at Waterloo itself. It was another Highland regiment that scaled the rock face over the St Lawrence and first formed a line in the September dawn on the level sward of Abraham. It was a Highland line that broke the power of the Maharatta hordes and gave Wellington his maiden victory at Assaye. Thirty four battalions marched from these glens ere the 18th century had run its course. They did not march back.

Anti-war, 80's style...

Gay Girl in Scottish Education Blog Shock

2011-06-19T11:03:00.000+01:00

My name is... Eilidh. That'll do. I'm a kind of average every-teacher in the oil rich statelet of Scotland. I write about my experiences of Scots education in this time of cholera. My point of view is not exactly one of the kids on the streets, more the kids in the class. And their teachers. And what they learn. And how they learn.

We are besieged. Everyday brings a new hail of bullets. Some of them come from opinionated snipers such as John McTernan of the British Labour faction or Joan McAlpine of the Self-Loathing wing of the SNP who want to defend the privileged citadels of private-school education - and thus maintain the class system of elitism and arrogance which has condemned those 'aggressive and underachieving proles' to wallow in state schools. Government inaction allied to the lobbying of right-wing think tanks and violent extremism of the shadowy COSLA Brotherhood is threatening our sick pay, holidays, curricular freedom, rural schools and job security. The once mighty EIS union who used to defend our way of life has been bought and sold for very little gold. Some schools still have their feet mired in PFI and are forever indebted to private firms. They even have 'business managers' who can even refuse local authority staff access to their own school should it not coincide with their interests.

A few years ago things looked bright. Teachers were given a level of pay that went a long way to reflecting the importance of their position in society. A new curriculum was brought in that aimed to empower kids with the tools to research, philosophise, design, experiment and to actively seek their knowledge of the world rather than just being passive receptacles of lists of facts and dates.

Promises were made to bring down class sizes to a reasonable 18 - which would mean more time for valuable teacher-pupil dialogue as well as creating jobs for the many unemployed teachers around. This has so far failed to materialise.

The likes of COSLA, McTernan, MacAlpine and a whole raft of conservative naysayers - few of whom have real experience of teaching day in, day out or current education practice at all - want teachers to work longer hours for less pay, less or no sick pay and diminished pensions. They want kids to be tested, assessed and their schools slotted into league tables so that pushy middle class parents can cherry pick the best schools should they want to skimp on posh school bills. They want the attitudes of industry and the free market applied to education, as well as heatlh. As if schools and hospitals are just call-centres or factory production lines. Likewise, they want teachers assessed and remunerated according to performance. Just who will be the judge and paymaster, we do not know - is it the headteacher who hasn't taught consistently for years? Or is it the coonsull penpusher with one eye on her own performance targets geared towards satisfying the sinister Tax Payers' Alliance assessment of local authority spending?

Even worse, some want the spread of 'faith schools' and the interference of business in the day to day running of the school. Or, they want 'free schools' which are run by parents (who tests their ability as parents or aptitude for pedagogy?) and 'charities' (this could mean religious zealots of any variety).

COSLA's recent communique threatened jihad against Scottish teachers. It even went so far as to claim that the central role of the teacher was not to teach children. McTernan and MacAlpine spread their conservative gospel in establishment mouthpieces such as the Telegraph, the Times and Scotland's own 'hurrah for the Clearances' voice of the laird, the Scotsman - known to Highlanders with long memories as 'the Daily Liar'.

What do we teachers want? Recognition of the importance of our job to society. Stability without a tidal wave of new initiatives every year. Less poisonous sniping by those with little or no knowledge of our profession but who shoulder a basket load of political agendas. Less testing for young kids.

It is with envious eyes that we look to teachers in Finland - a small country with many similarities to Scotland. Finland invests heavily in teacher training and in schools. There are very few private schools. Children are not tested in their early years and teachers trusted to assess their pupils in their own way. Classrooms are relaxed and children encouraged to learn through play and by exploring.

In the current climate, we teachers will be joining our fellow public workers at the barricades.

I read recently about the Gay Girl in Damascus blog that turned out to be a fake. Well, my name isn't really Eilidh and I'm heterosexual. The rest is all true.

Some homework...
John McTernan on Educational Reforms

Joan McAlpine: I admit I sent my children to private school

John McTernan - To save Britain's schools...

John McTernan - the monstrous regiment of educationalists?

Joan McAlpine - more tests, poor teachers

Joan McAlpine - learn facts, not skills

And lastly, it is worrying to think that McAlpine is now a member of the Education and Culture Committee in the Scots Parliament. This article is riddled with factual errors (no tests in primary school?) and even astonishment that childrens' learning should be put into context. Oh, and the need to root out 'lazy teachers'....

Joan McAlpine - In praise of Gove, in fear of contextualised learning

Now, a look at the leaders in the field:

Education in Norway

Teaching is not to fill empty brains of young students with some fact they should be able to memorize for the next test or something like that - Philosophy of Education in Norway
Legatum Prosperity Index - education
Finland - trusting the teachers, free education for all and few tests
BBC World News: Finland - less is more
Holyrood Magazine - Finnish Lessons: less testing, more learning

Some background:
Curriculum for Excellence
Philosophy 4 Children

Auld Songs for the new Scotland #2

2011-06-05T21:07:00.004+01:00

Even under the first feeble Labour-Lib Dem administrations, the Scottish Parliament took the important step of enabling crofting communities to buy the land they and their ancestors have lived and worked on for generations. Asainte and the Isle of Eigg were the first to throw off the unwanted ownership of uncaring, oppressive or just bizarre rich owners. Who could forget the antics of Keith Schellenberg - the man who let Eigg's houses fall into ruin while he dressed up as a Nazi to impress his rich German friends?

Schellenberg eventually left after islanders began opposing his autocratic rule and a mysterious fire left his Rolls Royce burned out. Schellenberg has since returned to his native Yorkshire and become a kerb-crawler. The island was sold to another bampot though - an 'artist of fire energy' by the name of Maruma. He though only visited the island twice and no further investment to improve the island's homes or infrastructure was forthcoming.

Currently, the crofters of the Pàirc estate in Lochs, Isle of Lewis are engaged in an attempt to forcibly return the ownership of the estate to the people who live on it. The laird is resisting though and therefore the 'hostile takeover' is awaiting approval from the Scottish Government. Here's hoping that permission is granted soon.

Oi Polloi's 'Take Back the Land' from their Fuaim Catha LP is a more than suitable soundtrack for the 'new' Scotland where hopefully more land will be taken from the hands of the rich and given over to community control. Its got anger. Its got humour. And arguably, its got the spirit of those who fought to reclaim their land from the rich - be it the crofters of Aignis and Pàirc, the Battle of the Braes in Skye or the Seven Men of Knoydart who resisted their laird Lord Brocket, a friend of Hitler, only to be sold down Loch Nevis by the then Labour government.

Oi Polloi - Take Back the Land
Tore the people from the land
Torched their houses with bloodied hands
Thousands starved or died at sea
A sickening toll of human misery
Broke the old clan system where land was there for all
And once the people had their backs against the wall
The connivance of the church cleared them off the land
"Remember it's God's will so don't try to make a stand"
They made a desert where trees once stood
Squeezing from the land every penny that they could
Ethnic cleaning of the glens for farming sheep
'Cos that way there's more profit for the rich scum to reap (rape)

"Beautiful bleak moorland?"- I don't think so
This is a place where great forests used to grow
Laid waste by a rich man's greed
Reclaim the land and plant the seed
Yet still every year, seeking their roots
They come from overseas to lick the boots
Of the clan chief and kiss the hand
Of the very people who threw their families off the land
This is nothing more than a sick farce
paying homage to the ruling class
Who, without hesitation, do it all again
Those who forget history to repeat it are condemned

"Gee, Scotland-It's so quaint
All this scenery makes me feel quite
faint
Clan chief looks so good in his kilt
We never think of the blood his family spilt"

"I'm the clan chief o.k. yah
I support Scotland when they play rugger
But an independent country? there I'd draw the line
I own this land it's mine all mine

FUCK YOU, You arrogant prick
You inbred rich bastard, YOU MAKE ME FUCKING SICK
You own fuck all-except in your head
One day the land will be ours-and you'll be dead

I won't beg permission to walk the land they claim to "own"
And I won't pay no fucker to gain access to THE STONES
The rich have stolen and buy and sell our earth
But it belongs to NO ONE-or to all by right of birth

BBC Alba to screen on Freeview

2011-05-23T20:19:00.001+01:00

The Gaelic proverb "ruigidh each mall a' mhuileann" - a slow horse will still reach the mill - could not be more apt. Scotland's indigenous tongue continues to make slow steps towards equal status with yon Walmart of languages, English. Even more surprisingly perhaps is that it was acheived under the stewardship of MG Alba boss and lacklustre former Labour MSP, Alastair Morrison. Whatever, after centuries of repression and neglect, Scots can now enjoy the language of the Scots on old fashioned telly as well as wireless and internet. BBC Alba will screen on Freeview channel 8 from early June.

The next victory could well be a stand alone Gaelic school for Edinburgh which it is anticipated will replicate the successes seen in Glasgow, Inverness and Skye. Word in the corridors of civic power in Dùn Eideann is that Bungsoil Ghàidhlig Dhùn Eideann is set to be given the green light. Unfortunately, Lib Dem education chief, dinosaur and ignoramus Marilyne 'Butterball' MacLaren is still refusing to budge. Rumours that Butterball and right-wing Edinburgh Evil News columnist John Gibson were seen leaving a High Street hostelry in the wee small hours arm in arm and singing 'rebellious Scots to crush...' are entirely unfounded.

Those leadership canditates for the Unionist parties.

2011-05-16T22:12:00.002+01:00

Its high time for those Unionists to live up to their ideals and unite. Having a 'Scottish' leader who takes his/ her orders from London is not enough. Why don't they actually... unite? Furthermore, surely it's time that they have a leader that embodies their right-of-centre orientation.

Here goes then...

Oswald Mosely. Surely a man to whom the words 'British' and 'Union' have become synonymous? His vision and discipline are just what is lacking in the current sad crop of Unionist duds in Scotland. There is the small matter of him being dead of course. However, we understand that Glasgow's very own Psychic Barber is willing to mediate with a ouija board. Initially it was thought that he'd be a natural for the Tory wing of the Unionist alliance. However, his penchant for moustaches, uniforms and large numbers of marching men appears to sit uneasily with the more conservative family value types.

The Reverend Doctor Ian Paisley. If you want a man to say 'never, never, never' to an independent Scotland whilst also saving this auld nation from sodomy, then Ian's your man. However, he's also getting on a bit and is a bit close to Mosely, both in political persuasion and mortality. Like Mosely, he likes marching, often wearing a bright orange and purple 'sash' and proclaming the memory of King William of Orange - the Dutch religious tyrant and notorious homosexual whose orders saw the MacIains of Glencoe massacred in their beds. He may be too left wing for Labour though.

The Reverend Ewen Aitken. Last but not least. This is the renowned Edinburgh Cooncillor and former leader who unsuccessfully challenged Kenny MacAskill at this year's Scottish elections. Aitken is famous for being a 'conductor on God's tramline' as well as for being an enthusiastic supporter of Edinburgh's own disastrous tram project. Aitken, with God on his side, may be a formidable leader of the Scottish Unionist alliance though others think that there's 'something of the night' about him. There may also be a few skeletons lurking in his vestry such as his 'promotion of porn' stooshie a few years back.

Auld songs for a new Scotland

2011-05-08T22:41:00.000+01:00

Chan e seo deireadh rathaid ach toiseach linn - This is not the end of the road but the start of a new age. Runrig, 'Àrd', 1993

Labour's dinosaurs hit the ground with a thump as the meteor hit. Their food source gone. The Lib Dems thought that having two faces would give them double the chance of success but it just gave the people twice the target to kick. The Tories' talk of 'common sense' by grabbing others' pubic hair saw them scrape a new low and left poor matron Annabel inspecting the skid-marks in her Union Jack bloomers.

Meanwhile, the public voted in unprecedented numbers for the SNP to gain what they can from the greedy ConDem government in London before pursuing full independence. A mood of optimism exists despite Scotland having to face up to the consequences of a bankrupt British economy that incredibly can still find enough dough for war while throwing teachers and nurses on the dole and freezing wages.

What songs are fitting for this moment? Here's a starter: Runrig's 1993 anthem for home rule, Ard. The song mourned the dark days of Scotland suffering under a Tory government in London while expressing hope that a new generation would struggle and achieve self-determination. We did take that first step. Here's to a new generation taking the next step towards a progressive, prosperous and independent Scotland, leaving those Labour dinosaurs to fossilise.

Àrd

Madainn Di-haoine 's duthaich fo sgoth
'S mi sgith le cuid smalan, mi-mhisneachd is bron
Seo an deicheamh la dhan a'Ghiblean 'sinn fo ghruaim a rithist
An co-dhunadh a cheannaich na daoine aig pris

Tha spiorad nan daoine nas soilleir na ghealach
Nas doimhne na'n cuan
Gheibh sinn ar n-aite 'san t-saoghal
'S an ginealach ur

Ard: blar nan daoine
Ard: guth is saorsa
Ard: tha sinn gluasad
Gu h-ard theid sinn suas

'S iomadh trioblaid tha romhainn 'nis Gaidheal agus Gall
'S mi le aon suil air eachdraidh, aon suil mo chlann
Ach cum creideamh nad bheatha, sonas nad chridhe
Chan e seo deireadh rathaid ach toiseach linn

Tha spiorad nan daoine nas soilleir na ghealach
Nas doimhne na'n cuan
Gheibh sinn ar n-aite 'san t-shaoghal

'S an ginealach ur.

Translations available via Google. Gaelic education links on the left bar at the top.

Free music - Ard (High)

Vote early, vote twice, vote Scotland

2011-05-03T22:58:00.000+01:00

And for the 3rd paper on the choice of AV or first past the post voting for the greedy and bankrupt London parliament, I intend to write 'Independence'.

The Union has failed Scotland, that much is clear. Historically, Scotland used to enjoy cordial trading relations with the main European powers. After the union of 1707, we were at war with them because England's battles were now ours as well. At the time, many Scots lived in dire poverty. That did not change even though a handful of Scottish merchants did line their pockets on the plundered spoils of the British Empire.

Today, the contrast between the haves and have-nots is still stark. On the Royal Wedding weekend, the East Neuk of Fife was replete with Union Jacks and pics of the happy privileged couple. It was like a corner of middle England tacked onto the bulk of dark once-communist Fife. A drive through the likes of Leven, Kennoway and Cowdenbeath on the way home revealed the real Fife. That saddest thing is that huge swathes of deprivation and poverty like this are to be found in most parts of Scotland - from Dumfries to Glasgow, from Midlothian to Aberdeen.

In parts of Glasgow the longevity of an average man is as low as 54.

Meanwhile, our small and independent neighbours on the North Atlantic rim are doing fine. Norway in fact is sitting on top of the world in terms of wealth, health, happiness, education and even community spirit. Even the nations in the 'arc of prosperity' - Ireland and Iceland - that lost their shine are still more prosperous than bankrupt Britain.

Despite Britain's reputed £900billion debt, the combined Unionist alliance of Labour, Tory and LibDem have wasted billions on foreign wars, Trident missiles, aircraft carriers, shoring up nuclear powers and other such nonsense. Demands to safeguard public services are met with demands from Cameron, Clegg, Brown or Blair to 'tighten our belts'. Why provide for Scotland's poor when you can kill half a million Iraqi civilians in order to remove a dictator of our own making?

Its bullshit. There is absolutely no reason for Scotland to remain part of a 'UK' that is bankrupt in all senses of the word. Some Scots still vote Labour because their grandparents did. Some don't like Alex Salmond. Some believe scaremongering that only voting Labour will keep the Tories out. That's a vote for negativity.

If Labour want to protect Scotland from a London Tory government, then they too should embrace independence and reclaim some of their auld principles.

Think for yourselves. Don't vote for Salmond, vote for Scotland's future. It could be SNP, Green or Scottish Socialist. Scottish Labour is a corpse of a fat complacent dinosaur that took its food source for granted for far too long. Leave it to the maggots.

The union dividend - Labour's war on teeth.

Good apples, bad apples and unexplained deaths

2011-05-03T20:52:00.000+01:00

Police are only human. Unlike other humans though, they seem to have a supernatural ability to avoid the usual consequences for actions that are deemed 'unlawful'. Police routinely lie in court and yet few of them get sent down like Tommy Sheridan. Murders committed by police are 'unlawful killings'. True, some of them do get sacked when caught impersonating KKK weirdos killing Asians. But, that only happens when the deed is captured on film or on tape.

Today is not a slow news day though concerning this matter. The below piece caught my attention and in particular the words, "A force spokesman said the death was being treated as unexplained."

This comes on the same day as an inquest jury in London found that the paper-seller Ian Tomlinson was unlawfully killed after he was hit by a baton and pushed to the ground by PC Simon Harwood of the Great Satan's constabulary.

It also comes just days after cops broke up a 'Royal wedding' party in Glasgow's Kelvingrove Park when thousands of youngsters had taken to heart David Cameron's plea to 'organise parties irrespective of local bureaucracy'. Trouble flared once the cops arrived.

Kelvingrove - here comes trouble

As a youngster in the shed at Tynecastle, I used to listen to the big boys sing 'Harry Roberts is our friend, he kills coppers'. Many of the guys singing it were striking miners from Midlothian and were more than used to police brutality. It was the kind of education they didn't teach in schools then.

All murder is regrettable and pointless but even Harry Roberts' Wiki page has the word 'murderer' in brackets. 'Unlawful killing' aint for the plebes. Roberts is still in prison after killing three cops in 1966. I doubt if PC Harwood will even get a year. I guess some are more equal than others.

Hey, its like the days of Blair Peach and Cynthia Jarret all over again.

Royal Wedding fever- any sedition hushed, rebellious Scots crushed

2011-04-27T21:40:00.001+01:00

Our shops are decked in red, white and blue. The colours of the royal wedding and Old Firm mail bombers who profess loyalty to the Queen but refuse her law. As Scotland enters the final week of an election which looks like it could deliver a joint SNP-Green administration and with it, a referendum on independence, the plebes are given a day off. Grate Britain is bankrupt but on top of another military enterprise abroad where we bomb another oil-rich nation we can afford to splurge on the wedding of an Anglo-Hellenic-Germanic prince and his posh bit of fluff.

How soon before the royal couple grace the floor on the Royal Strictly Come or ITV screen I'm An Inbred, Get Me Out of Here! where chinless aristo types eat lichen and dungbeetles on the banks of Lochnagar? If not them, then their kids. That's for sure.

Turn off the telly on Friday and watch some other anthems....

Laibach - Anglia
So you still believe you're ruling the World,
Using all your tricks to keep the picture blurred.
Scatter your enemies, confound their politics,
So you still believe you're ruling the world...
God save your gracious Queen,
Long live your noble Queen.
God save your gracious Queen,
God save you all!

So you still believe you're superior,
And all other nations are inferior,
Any sedition hushed, rebellious Scots crushed,
So you still believe you're superior,
God save your gracious Queen,
Long live your noble Queen.
God save your gracious Queen,
God save you all!

So you still pretend you're ruling the World,
Using all your tricks to keep the picture blurred...
So you still pretend you're ruling the World,
Using all your tricks to keep the picture blurred...

Sex Pistols - God Save the Queen
God save the queen cos tourists are money
and our figurehead is not what she seems
Oh god save history god save your mad parade
Oh lord god have mercy all crimes are paid

Finally, here's Kunt and the Gang once again. Share the love...

Kunt and the Gang - Fucksticks (Royal Wedding Souvenir Version) - watch more funny videos

Marriage and scrota. Royal or otherwise.

2011-04-17T17:53:00.004+01:00

The forthcoming 'royal' marriage between an Anglo-Germanic prince and his chosen receptacle for the royal seed has the worrying possibility of giving renewed credence to two equally outdated institutions. Those are the 'British' royal family and marriage. Marriage though as we know it appears to be dying despite a blip in Scotland last year when the numbers were up slightly from the previous year's all-time low. The fact remains though that most relationships break up. Why then try and contain human sexual relations within a narrow Judeo-Christian box that is increasingly a coffin for true natural feelings?

In a Western European context, the 'institution' of marriage continues to be shored up through the twin evils of religion and authoritarianism. Religion at least seems to be dying too. Perhaps 'dying' is too strong a verb as there will always be a significant minority who either believe in a god or want to get hitched in whatever way god or state decides. It is however a cause of celebration that both these institutions seem to be withering away to their 'irreducable core'.

Those who do not or cannot marry are still hindered by the archane laws of many countries in Europe. One example is that of the late Stieg Larsson, author of the Millennium Trilogy. He died at the age of 50 in 2004. However,the law in his native Sweden refuses to acknowledge the 32 year co-habitation between Larsson and his partner as legitimate and decrees that his estate should go to his blood relatives.

Germany too creates difficulties for those not married, even when one of the partners and their child are born abroad. Should an unmarried German mother attempt to take her Scottish born baby into Germany there could be problems if the baby carries a different name to her mother. Should they wish to enter Germany via an airport, the customs and excise guards could refuse entry and fine the mother 2000 Euros. Should the mother drive or walk across the border from the Netherlands, France, Poland or Denmark then this isn't an issue.

Which god is that?

Civil partnerships may be a step in the right direction. However, should the love or co-habitation between two people of any gender have to be 'recognised' by the state? The word 'marry' simply means 'to unite' or 'to come together' and this was the way it was for most of human history. Monogamy too has not always been an issue though in almost all cultures it's usually been the men who have enjoyed various partners. Even early Christians were not as hung up on a formal ceremony and recognition of marriage as their modern equivalents are. For the early Christians, the intention to live together was signal enough of the love between two people.

The philosopher AC Grayling in his book Life, Sex and Ideas - The Good Life Without God states:

The roots of socio-legal marriage lie in a profoundly sexist financial arrangement. Its originating aim was to constrain women's sexuality and fertility so that men could be sure they were bequeathing their property to their own offspring. When the poorer classes also began to acquire property... various marriage traditions were at last reduced by law to a single type.

Control of sex is what it comes down to. Rich men wanted to make it illegal for another man to 'shag their burd'. And if the law failed then at least the groundwork was done to deny the fruit of another man's loins wealth that it didn't deserve. As with modern drug control though, the law and religious morality failed and continues to do so. Hence, what is natural becomes illegal. Grayling goes on to offer the following quotes:

Christianity gave Eros poison to drink but he did not die of it. He degenerated - into vice. Nietzsche.

Nature knows no indecencies, man invents them. Mark Twain.

"Is your scrote bigger than mine?"

As with the old definition of 'marriage' having being corrupted, so too is 'monogamy'. Monogamy originally meant one partner for life. Aye right. The fact is though that should you be lucky enough to marry the person with which you spend your remaining decades of life, it is highly unlikely that it will be your first sexual partner. Equally, despite all the fuss, money and continuing morality surrounding marriage, around half of them break up. If this isn't reason enough to give it a miss, why not look to biology. According to Dutch biologist Midas Dekkers, the inclination of a species to play around can be gauged by the size of the scrotum:

The greater the chances of unfaithfulness , the greater the sperm production will have to be. Within a single group of animals the degree of infidelity from species to species can be determined by the size of the scrota.

We apparently, on the scrotal swingometer, are somewhere in the middle between the chimp and the gorilla with a slight inclination towards gorilla-style fidelity. Infidelity remains a popular habit for married couples though. What will Prince William be? A chimp, gorilla or maybe a bonobo? Certainly, his family have no claim to the moral high ground of family values in a married Christian context. His wee brother Harry is a carbon copy of the 'lecherous cad' James Hewitt. His father Chas allegedly had 'liaisons' with a male servant and enjoyed adulterous relations - "I want to be your tampon" - with horse-faced Camilla while still married to Saint Di.

Interestingly the word 'infidelity' originally meant a 'want of faith, unbelief in religion'. Polly Vernon in the Guardian states that up to 40% of people in marriages or long-term relationships will be 'unfaithful' at some point. Again though, our obsession with sins of the flesh should have no place in a modern progressive society. Partners can be ill-treated in many ways. Why then should a sexual liaison with another person be worse than sitting in front of a computer growing a beer belly while 'the wife' does the washing-up?

Penis Envy was right.

In the progressive Scandinavian nations, religion and marriage are becoming increasingly sidelined. In Norway and Sweden, the majority of kids are now born outside of marriage. This has caused some consternation amongst Catholics, still reeling from the Pope's condom U-turn who fear a loss of control.

Marriage remains an outdated and usually expensive millstone around our necks. In Europe it is promoted by a Judeo-Christian philosophy that expects us to circumcise our sons or sees unmarried elderly bachelors sermonise us on family values. It is a unnecessary capitulation to authoritarianism and backward religious 'morals'. MPs and priests, churches and registry offices can no more express the diversity and unpredictability of human love than can Loving magazine or a comic strip from The Sun. On April 29th, I'll celebrate the likely demise of the forthcoming royal marriage and hopefully of both 'institutions'.

Midas Dekkers, The Way of All Flesh - A Celebration of Decay

AC Grayling, Life, Sex and Ideas - The Good Life Without God

Update:

That lone voice of reason, the Daily Mail today reports with horror that...

The astonishing speed at which traditional family life has collapsed is laid bare today.
Shocking figures reveal that births outside marriage are at their highest level in two centuries and nearly half of children can expect their parents to separate by the time they turn 16.
Nine out of ten couples now live together before – or instead of – tying the knot. Before the Second World War, it was fewer than one in 30.

I am indeed shocked. Its the first good news that I've read in the Mail, ever.

The soundtrack to the unhappy day...

Kunt and the Gang - Fucksticks (Royal Wedding Souvenir Version) - watch more funny videos

Great Great Britain seizes the moral high ground over Libya

2011-03-18T21:16:00.001Z

Great Britain with its thousand years of democracy finds itself once again perfectly placed to be the world's polisman. Of course, Uncle Sam has to give the nod first. Let us explain why Great Britain has the moral authority to rid the world of all bad people like the very very bad Colonel Gaddafi. Gaddafi thinks that he can oppress his own people AND do business with us. Who does he think he is? China? Saudi Arabia?

For a start, Britain would never clear its own people of the land, especially for reasons of profit or ethnic hatred.

The Clearances in Uist, 1895

Nor would Great Britain shoot its own people while they demonstrated for basic human rights.

Bloody Sunday, 1973

Even dirty hippies living on the edge of society would not be subject to violence at the hands of the British state.


'The Battle of the Beanfield' 1985

Though dirty striking miners with left-wing tendencies did occasionally provoke the police into suppressing their dissent by any means necessary as they were called upon to do at the so-called 'Battle of Orgreave'.


Orgreave, 1984

Our parliament is lead by honest and accountable politicians. This duckhouse is the symbol of the probity of the 'Mother of Parliaments'.

A necessary expense for London MPs

And our leaders would never join forces with religiously motivated extremists to wage an illegal war on a third world country.

Repeat, would not enjoy a 'special relationship' with a country that covertly financed terrorist groups such as the Contras in Nicaragua.

CIA manual - part of US 'covert' warfare against Sandinista Nicaragua

Were atrocities against innocent civilians ever to have occurred then that of course is a matter of great regret. Rest assured though that no breaches of international human rights law take place today.

Guantanamo Bay, still home to 172 'detainees'

Britain is so assured of its morality that it would take swift and effective action against any nation guilty of human rights abuses. Be it China...

Bodies of student protesters, Tianamen Square, China, 1989

Or in democratic and capitalist-friendly Russia...

Massacre of Chechen 'rebels', 2000

We are also confident that Great Britain's friendship with nice Saudi Arabia is having a positive effect on human rights there. Particularly in its attitude to women.

'Be thankful you're not getting stoned'.

Lastly, Great Britain would never tolerate the maintenance of a dynasty of unelected persons living at the tax payers' expense.

Er...

Gone are the days when our government was run by a privileged clique of white Eton-educated rich men.

Cool Britannia was never... so cool.

Please remember all of this if you read of claims that Great Britain is wasting £billions on another foreign war while the economy withers and thousands lose their jobs. Please remember to stand in respectful silence when the coffins come home. Our boys die for you.

Singalong anti-nuclear

2011-03-16T23:23:00.000Z

Even if you can't read Scottish, you know what it means. Our complacency broken, its time to roll out the anti-nuclear power campaigns again.

Once in generation it seems as if we have a major nuclear accident. One too many. And even if these major accidents are few and far between - low level radioactive leakage seems to be regular and the cost to the taxpayer of subsidising nuclear power is enormous. Then there's the question of what to do with the waste. I remember Jeremy Paxman on Newsnight with his trademark incredulous frown asking the then chair of British Nuclear Fuels if he was 'seriously proposing that we bequeath to our grandchildren tonnes of radioactive junk'.

Generations are often marked by their tunes. So, where are all the anti-nuclear power tunes? Nuke war has got a few. But atomic energy? Well, perhaps my 5 minutes of half-hearted research wasn't thorough enough but I managed to dig up a few examples - all from the 80s it seems. And all from the 'anarcho-punk' genre. The anarchist strand of punk music didn't quite change the world but its impact was to be seen in movements such as CND - given the kiss of life by Crass - and the animal rights movement. Unfortunately for some, it was also the mother of all chastity belts. The Pope would've been proud. No condoms needed as adolescents were consumed by marching for CND and against vivisection, reading veggie cookbooks, squatting and latterly by getting filthy and growing dreadlocks. Though this was mostly by those who later graduated to a job in banking. Sex was viewed with frustrated suspicion - maybe it was 'sexist' to chat someone up?

Anyway, Edinburgh's anarchos Oi Polloi seemed to shout most about nuclear power. Songs like Resist the Atomic Menace, No Filthy Nuclear Power and Go Green provided a soundtrack for protest trips to Torness to rage against nuclear power stations that Labour gave us before they opposed them before they advocated them again.

Loanhead based noise-merchants AOA also got in on the act with their split LP with Oi Polloi. AOA also came from an area where the miners' strike was at the heart of the community. Today it may seem as if environmental activists and 'spokespersons' all speak with the same kind of Oxbridge accent. AOA weren't of that ilk.

Flux of Pink Indians emerged out of the Crass-inspired wave of punk. They were responsible for memorable anthems such as Tube Disaster but also for the weird and pretentious, though superbly titled, 'The Fucking Cunts Treat Us Like Pricks'. Flux later produced the Buddhist-inspired 'Uncarved Block' on their own Little Indian label which also gave us the likes of Bjork and the Shamen. Here though is their own anti-atomic anthem.

Lastly is Discharge. Again, very influential - certainly on thrash metal bands such as Metallica and Sepultura. Lyrically, they are best described as 'uncomplicated' and 'straight to the point' though 'repetitive' may also be apt. They definitely had a bee in their bonnet regarding things nuclear though to be honest, war was by far their biggest bugbear. 'The Possibility of Life's Destruction' is open to interpretation though. Here are the lyrics. All of them.

Can you hear the sound of an enormous door slamming in the depths of hell
The possibility of life's destruction
Can you hear the cries of pain the mournful sound

At present, Scotland's SNP minority administration government is committed to making Scotland nuclear free. Should the election in May see the uninspiring former radical Iain Gray become first minister as head of a Labour-lead government, then Scotland could once again become a nuclear dustbin.

Time to hit the streets.

Tsunami of ignorance

2011-03-12T12:12:00.001Z

"These people speak Japanese."

Amazing but true... London BBC plumbs new depths in insularity in their coverage of the impending nuclear crisis in tsunami-hit Japan. While helicopters hover over the stricken countryside, our well-spoken English correspondent tells us that one of the main problems in gaining information from the local populace is that they are... Japanese speaking. And thus, the navel-gazers of Englandshire are rocked by a quake of higher magnitude that than which hit Japan - these people actually exist without the English language!

While David Attenborough extols the wonders of Madagascar's flora and fauna it seems as if the BBC has sent Germano-Hellenic Prince Philip to marvel at the plight of those yellow and slanty eyed foreigners.

Phil the Greek, "Come ahead all you slitty-eyed Jock jigaboos and wops"

And then, the Beeb's helicopter returned to more urban areas where islands of Engerlish are often to be found. As people stuck on top of buildings and bridges signalled their need for rescue, the camera crews of the British Broadcasting Corporation had another priority - film first, rescue later, all the while hoping that it doesn't overshadow news of the royal wedding. But while we Brits were reassured that we are too clever to learn others' languages we at least were able to identify language as one of the cultural markers which differentiates Japan from Engerland.

Meanwhile, back in yon green and pleasant land, a nation of Daily Mail readers awaited their next visual feast amid dire warnings that a Scottish media service would be... 'narrow and insular'.

Aye can? My Erse.

2011-03-05T17:27:00.004Z

Its census time and the onslaught against our indigenous culture continues. The auld myths about Scotland and her cultural roots are being trotted out by everyone from the General Register Office of Scotland to Newsnet Scotland. It is often said that 'divide and rule' is the best strategy of the aggressor. And thus, we were divided. Scotland became, not the Celtic kingdom of Alba, but a nation divided between 'Highlands' and 'Lowlands'. This took time though and this distinction between Highland and Lowland only emerged relatively recently. Highland was 'Gaelic' and Lowland was... well, what was Lowland? The Anglo-Saxons brought 'Inglis' and Inglis it was until it suddenly became 'Scottish'. What then of Scottish? Scottish became Gaelic, Highland or even worse 'Erse'. More than divide and rule, the Scots found themselves identified by another nationality and thus dispossessed.

The Lowlands therefore became the sole preserve of Inglis/ Scots - even though at the time much of the Lowlands was still Gaelic speaking.

Scotland then became 'Northern Britain' and eventually the powers that be, in a fit of irony, even decreed that Inglis was just 'badly spoken English'.

Historical extent of Gaelic expansion

This supreme piece of anti-Scottish spin-doctoring and cultural airbrushing provided the perfect springboard for centuries of repression starting with the Statutes of Iona, continuing with the Clearances and the education act of 1872 that permitted the forcible Anglicisation of Gaelic-speaking children and communities until the present day when one can still read derogatory comments about 'Erse' and 'garlic' in the comments sections of the Daily Mail and Scotsman. It can allow the likes of Marilyne Maclaren - Edinburgh's education chief (!!!) - in her attempt to hinder the establishment of a stand-alone Gaelic medium school in Edinburgh to claim that Gaelic's place is in 'Argyll or the west Highlands'.

The 'Aye Can' website - a product of the General Register and the ironically named 'Scots Language Centre' - which seeks to help people determine whether or not they speak 'Scots' states:

Are Gaelic and Scots different things?

Yes. Scots belongs to the Germanic family of languages (which includes Dutch, German, English and Swedish) and has traditionally been spoken in the southern and eastern parts of Scotland known as the Lowlands.

Gaelic, on the other hand, belongs to the Celtic family of languages (which includes Irish and Welsh) and has traditionally been spoken in the northern and western parts of Scotland known as the Highlands.

At best, this is a collection of half-truths. At worse, it is anti-Scottish. A good example of this can be found in the 'View from the Wasteland' blog which also states that the 'flag of our country is the Union Jack':

Yet ours is a rich language , spoken by plain men and men of learning for many centuries . John Barbour wrote in Scots for the Scots King when the English monarchy and aristocracy spoke French and English was regarded as a rural patois . Let it be remembered that , such was the strength of the Renaissance in this country , The Aeneid was translated into Scots before it was into English . This is no ill-spoken rustic dialect .

It would be tragic were it to disappear . Or , worse , be killed by the onslaught of meejah culture and aggressive Gaelic promotion .

I am a Scotsman . I speak Scots , not Erse .

The Census , due on the 27th of March , asks questions about our fluency in the guid Scots . It is incumbent on all who love our country and its heritage to answer truthfully and support oor mither tongue .

The idea that the Lowlands was devoid of Gaelic culture was certainly a new one to the last native Gaelic speakers of Arran in the 20th century:

"Some years ago I heard Gaelic speakers in Arran describe the
entire stretch of coastland from Galloway to Ayrshire as part of the
Gàidhealtachd. They knew some of the place-names of that region in
their Gaelic form; it was traditional knowledge among them that the
Gaelic language had been spoken there in the past; and they assumed
that, just as in Arran, it had survived to the present day."

To sum up, the Gaelic perception of the Lowlands is in
essential agreement with that of the medieval Scots writers who regard
the Gaels of their time as 'contemporary ancestors', people who
preserve the language and culture which were once shared by all. But
from the Gaelic point of view, we the Gaels are the disinherited, the
dispossessed.

(John MacInnes, The Gaelic Perception of the Lowlands, "Gaelic and Scotland/Alba agus a' Ghàidhlig", ed. Wm Gillies, Edinburgh University Press, 1989)

Coronation of King Alexander III on Moot Hill, Scone on 13 July 1249. He is being greeted by the ollamh rìgh, the royal poet, who is addressing him with the proclamation "Benach De Re Albanne" (= Beannachd Dè Rìgh Alban, "God's Blessing on the King of Scotland"); the poet goes on to recite Alexander's genealogy.

This is not to paint Scotland/ Alba as a monolingual nation. I'm unsure if such a concept exists. Even the relatively linguistically 'pure' Iceland has a smattering of Gaelic placenames, handed down from Celtic monks who reached the islands before the Norse and latterly by Gaelic-speaking slaves brought there from there from their homelands of Scotland, Man and Ireland. Some seek to muddy the waters by highlighting Pictish and 'Welsh'. Though the minute someone speaks of 'Welsh' in a Scottish context, one should treat their arguments with the same amount of salt you'd give to a Daily Mail article. Brythonnic which was closely related to Gaelic was spoken here and is evidenced in poetry - Y Gododdin - and in placenames - Niddry for a starter. However, Watson in his 'Celtic Placenames of Scotland' states that 'there are more placenames of Gaelic origin around Peebles than those of Brythonnic origin'. The strange conclusion for some though is that 'Welsh' was spoken in the Lothians but not Gaelic. Were pre-Celtic Pictish, Brythonnic or Norn in the Northern Isles still to exist then their survival would be equally important. I get the feeling though that even in that situation, we'd hear the same complaints from the same people.

"It was during this period, probably from about AD 960 onwards,
that Gaelic came to be current in Lothian: there is some evidence that
it extended beyond the present boundary of Scotland." Page footnote:
"Gaelic place-names are found in the north of England."

("The Celtic Placenames of Scotland", WJ Watson, published by Birlinn)

So, what of Scots? There is no doubt that a northern branch of Anglo-Saxon did develop separately to that spoken in much of England and that it too has a place in our culture. Most of us still speak it to some extent, though I'd argue that for most us, it has become very much diluted and not only by 'standard' English but by recent inputs from Hispanic, African-American and American English. I'd argue that 'Scottish English' would be a more suitable and honest term for this tongue.

This is not acceptable to some though - including some nationalists who have now started to revise history by claiming that 'Scots' and not 'Inglis' was historically spoken in Alba. As mentioned, 'Scots' was a term that was pasted onto 'Scottice' in the 1600s and even today is not a universally recognised term by its speakers - Lallans, Doric, Scotch or the more regional Shetlandic are as often heard. Possibly because some see these Anglo dialects as being sufficiently different from each other to qualify as languages in their own right.

The cumulative effect of this romantic airbrushing, historical revisionism and aggressive anti-Celitc prejudice is that many Scots do feel that Gaelic is 'foreign' to them. Ask them to explain their local placenames and they're stumped. Ask them what the daily language of William Wallace and the Bruce was and you might get a shrug of the shoulders and the reply, 'English?'. Ask them the source of the icons which give us our Scottish identity - even accounting for Victorian remixes by Walter Scott et al - such as bagpipes, whisky, tartan, the clans, the Stone of Destiny, ceilidhs, shinty (and arguably golf), the toponymy of lochs, bens and glens... and you'll get another shrug.

I once witnessed a folk singer in a Highland Perthshire pub being questioned by a German on the meaning of the line 'tha tighinn fodham' in the auld pro-Jacobite song 'Rise and Follow Charlie'. He looked puzzled for a few seconds and then replied, 'well, they're just kind of... Scottish sounds'.

The new Scotland? Forward with ignorance? Is it any wonder that tens of thousands of our youngsters tend to identify with an 'Old Firm' view of their lives in Scotland - Irish, Ulster Scots, British, English, Irish Catholic, proddie, 'Norn Iron' and Orange. Anything but Scottish.

Let us continue to speak our own form of Anglo-Saxon. Let us marvel at the words and use them in place of 'standard' English. Let us embrace the diversity of our new communities. But, we should be under no illusion that it was Gaels who gave us our nation, our iconography and much of our nomenclature. We should also ensure that it does not go the way of Pictish or Brythonnic.

"We look in vain for any hard and fast 'Highland Line' in the
minds or actions of these landowning families of the thirteenth, fourteenth and fifteenth centuries...

This essentially mixed situation, quite the reverse of black and white, characterised in the late medieval period and in the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries the gradual disappearance of the eastern Gàidhealtachd. The contribution of the 'western Gàidhealtachd' to the history and culture of Scotland may in some quarters have been sadly misunderstood and underrated, but it has never been in danger of being lost to sight. I would like to balance west with east by highlighting what I believe to have been the historically and culturally permanent contribution of Gaelic language and social organisation to the east of the country and the lowlands in general."

(GWS Barrow, The lost Gàidhealtachd of medieval Scotland, "Gaelic and Scotland/Alba agus a' Ghàidhlig", ed. Wm Gillies, Edinburgh University)

Update - Does Scotland and Gaelic needs enemies when its own people are this ignorant? Due to complaints, it seems as if 'Aye Can' has changed their tone... and made it worse. It now reads...

Gaelic, on the other hand, belongs to the Celtic family of languages (which includes Irish and Welsh). In recent centuries Gaelic has mostly been spoken in the northern and western parts of Scotland.

Have the Top Gear team taken control of history at the 'Scots Language Centre'? 'Recent centuries' would see Gaelic spoken in much of the Lowlands including Fife and Galloway...

The Nazi, the Scotsman, Gaelic and Rasta Mouse

2011-02-18T22:37:00.002Z

What a melange! And only the English language could have such a groovy word as 'melange'. I bet those French are still trying to get their tongues are 'entrepreneur'. Whatever, it seems as if tongues have been winding people up big time.

The Gaelic tongue has wound up the usual bigots - a small but vociferous minority who think that Gaels don't pay taxes and that money spent on Gaelic could be better spent on Trident missiles and an Anglo-German wedding due to take place in April. They also believe that the multitude of Gaelic placenames in Edinburgh and the Lowlands in general means that... Gaelic was never spoken there. Apart from having unreason on their side and George W Bush in charge of history lessons, the anti-Gaelic brigade have enlisted the help of Third Reich apologists. I guess this must tie in with the Royal Wedding somewhere...

Marilyne Maclaren - "Speak English or die"

Last week, the stooshie surrounding Edinburgh's Lib Dem education chief and anti-Gaelic bigot Marilyne 'Butterball' Maclaren prompted a flurry of... er one letter to the local organ of truth, the Edinburgh Evil News. This letter came from none other than Alistair MacConnachie or in the original and ironic Gaelic Alastair MacDhonnachaidh. He railed against the fact that Gaelic speakers were indeed bilingual and therefore should ALL use English whether they like it or not. To quote:

Rather, it is a deliberate political project intended to promote a particular concept of Scottishness.

This is done in order to revise our history as if to suggest that such Gaelic represents some kind of "authentic" Scottishness which has hitherto been "repressed" by the English speakers, and to make uncomfortable those Scots and other British who do not identify, or who are unsympathetic, with this element of our history.

In short, every time we see a bilingual sign it is a little bit of ethnic cleansing propaganda from the SNP administration telling us: "If you don't like this, then xxxx off to England."

We've been here before, several hundred years ago.

The Hasselhoff of UKIP

But who is this anti-Gael who bears a Gaelic name? You could maybe forgive his ignorance as it turns out that MacConnachie was born in Hong Kong. No Asian he though. This is the man who hit the headlines a few years ago as the Scottish organiser of UKIP who denied the holocaust. UKIP stood by their man though until MacConnachie left - after it seems that UKIP discovered his attempts to play the lead part in the Hong Kong version of Knight Rider - to set up a one-man show known as Sovereignty. He uses this to campaign under the pretence of being 'independently Green'. Despite this, postings to blogs reveal that he still harbours a hatred of the Jews and reckons that... well let's give this basket case the free-speech he wants:

Is sucking up to Jews a requirement to get into heaven these days? Strange...never used to be!

If you were Jewish, I would understand your attitude, but since I presume you are a "Christian", then I advise you to pray deeply and ask your Maker just whom Jesus would bomb.

The Scotsman and its sister rags regularly prints letters from this neo-Nazi bampot. Further proof of the Scotsman's decline since... since the days the Highlanders called it 'the Daily Liar' due to its support of the Clearances. Now, who said the enemy was English?

But, the weakened defences of the endangered English language are not only being besieged by Gaelic speakers demanding services in return for their tax money - imagine that?! - but by a cartoon mouse who speaks in Jamaican English. Rastamouse has raised the ire of English people who can't decide if this mouse who speaks like a bleckmin will sully their children's education or will upset the blecks themselves. Here's the BBC's response. Here's another message to rearrange: life/ a/ get.

More bad news though for the Invisible Knights of the British Empire in their struggle to defend the Queen's English against Celts and cartoon Rastafarian mice. Tocasaid can reveal that from next year the new presenters of Blue Peter will be...

Buju Banton, Donaidh Dotaman and Katie Price.