If drams were bands who would they be??

If drams were bands who would they be?? The headline yon skinny lass from Sex and the City never wrote. Here's the current TOP 3 drams though die Frau says there's one or two Old Pulteneys bubbling under...

1- Laphroaig 18yo - This replaces the 15. And it does, in style.
Like the raw power of Oi Polloi - see below - meeting the complex but hard-edged melodies of System of a Down. Replaces the 15yo with something deeper and more complex like a Biffy Clyro classic. Take a stick of liquorice, dip it in molasses and lemon juice and dust it with smoked paprika. Eaten with a leaf of seaweed. Still Laphroaig but closer in aspects to Ardbeg or Lagavulin.

2- Bruichladdich 16yo Cuvee Margaux 'C'
The perfect pink-pop of the Pet Shop Boys. You may not admit to liking it, but this expertly crafted tune sticks in your head. Almost a rose wine colour, it has age and is elegant but still a breath of fresh air. A juicy fruit from Islay. One of six Cuvee casks, A to F.

3- Inchgower 17y0 Port cask
Christy Moore's smooth voice sucking a Fisherman's Friend but not in the Oi Polloi dressing room. From the 'Castle Collection' this one is oilier than Cliff Richard. Like a MacCowans toffee bar rolled in salt and pepper. With a longer finish than a Mogwai epic. Haven't see this here but if you're in Germany or the Netherlands, keep your eyes peeled.