Thursday, December 5, 2013

Those RUK flag options

As the possibility of life's destruction draws near, for those on the London Gravy Train at least, the Brit Nats are spiralling into a descent of Titanic proportions. First of all, the ridiculous talking anus that is Fraser Nelson - he who makes Malcom Rifkind sound like Begbie - admits in the Telegraph that the 'broon eyes' in Downing Street are 'knittin socks' at the prospect of a 'yes' vote for Scottish independence next year.

Then, LibDem 'big beast' Alastair Carmichael morphs into 'Carcrash Carmichael' as he splutters a response to the SNP's White Paper on a future independent Scotland. A scapegoat is found in the form of 'comatose' Alistair 'Black Dwarf' Darling, he of the silver hair, swarthy eyebrows and sorry record of taking Bankrupt Britain's economy to new depths. Equally, within the Labour camp, there is much frothing about standing together with the toxic Tories in the Bitter Together campaign. Fancy that... the Unionists seem to be falling apart!

Do not disturb.
On top of this, a bitter cherry was placed to finish off the cake. Just what would the RUK - Rest of the UK, that is - flag look like without the Scotch input?

Tocasaid has garnered some ideas from a variety of graphic-expert whizz kids and here, they will be thrown into the mix. A whisky soaked tongue may be stuck firmly in the cheek but are they really any more ludicrous than this garish gallery of grimness from the BBC?

The titular example above not only alludes to the UK's eye-watering debt, its lap-dog relationship with the US but has added LibDem yellow to the great flag as to pay tribute to the Lib Dem's selfless determination and true Brit Grit to prop up any minority government it can be it Labour or Toxic Tory.

Grey Britain
On a similar theme, we have a modern grey and brown construction. A camera reminds us that we are being watched more than ever, for our own safety. The grey represents the grim reality of a drab life in boom and bust Britain. The brown... is left to your own imagination.

The British Rising Sin
But hey! Chin up Rupert! There's always a cheery sun to lift our spirits. This one is dominated by a soft pink to project the caring face of Britain. The image of Princess Di was chosen by a narrow margin over that of John 'G4S' Reid to shine down upon the adoring British subjects. Her spirit above will surely guide the good ship RUK safely away from Scotchland's rocky shores. The title though is an apt warning that even the saintly can find themselves going astray and refers to the People's Princess' unwise dalliance with an Arab playboy shortly before her death at the hands of the evil Duke of Edinbane.

RUK plc

The last offering comes from those bright-sparks at the Tax Payers' Alliance who suggested the novel idea of having sponsorship on the national teatowel. This shows that RUK plc will be back in business, oil money or not! It is thought that Amazon and Starbucks have offered slightly more for their advertising than they paid in tax over the last five years.

The last one is for real and perhaps the scariest thing to come out of Project Fear's anti-independence arsenal so far.