Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Happy Birthday George from BBC Tocasaid!

Or, alles Gute zum Geburtstag in your ancestral tongue.

It's been a while but what better occasion to take a break from the scorching Scotch summer than a royal birthday. It certainly takes the mind away from PRO-PUTIN SEPARATISTS er, our friend Israel bombing the fick out of families, children and hospitals in Gaza.

 Happy Birthday from all at BBC Tocasaid!

Friday, May 9, 2014

Spin your own UKIP candidate generator

Just say you're in an 'anti-establishment' political party. Your leader comes from the same kind of stable as David Cameron or George Osbourne but because he's a blawhard with a sense of humour, the media love him. The fact that he's another rich white man with a dodgy record on expenses and hiring...er migrants to work for him is glossed over.

Behind the jokey everyman  'always in pub with pint in hand' persona is a hive of frenetic hard-right activity. It seems as if every right-wing nutter in the book is in UKIP - from knife-wielding skinheads seig-heiling to the camera to swivel-eyed aristocrats to misogynists to god-bothering homophobes.

Here though is Tocasaid's handy contribution the UKIP phenomenon. Want a controversial right-wing arsehole to pump you up with the oxygen of publicity? Have a spin...

1 - Jeremy Clarkson. Has prejudice of one shade or another filling him like beans. Mexicans, gays, Scots, women, black people... He lives the life of a traditional English, white private school product. Hell, why doesn't the whole world race about in posh cars, roll about guffawing at the less fortunate (or just those who are different) in between slugs of expensive wine? Like UKIP, he plays the 'rebellious' card while being... just another rich, white man who's never known anything but a life of privilege.

2. Pat Robertson. Downside is that he isn't British. But then again, neither is Farage's wife who he employs at the taxpayer's expense in a job that a Brit could do. Neither is Farage's 'builder' pal and star of UKIP's election campaign and author of racist tweets who hails from... Zimbabwe. So far, Scotland has been no-man's land for the crazies of UKIP. This is where Pat comes in. He knows us..."A dark land, overrun by gays". Pat could lubricate the passage for Farage to slide in and sort us out.
"In Scotland, you can't believe how strong the homosexuals are. It's just simply unbelievable," he told his viewers.
Scotland's religious past was no more, he said. "I don't think it exists any more. And what could happen? It could go right back to the darkness very easily."
3. Random Bonehead. UKIP was described to me by a pal as the 'EDL for rich folk'. That about sums it up. But, it seems as if UKIP has been adept at attracting the kind of short/no-haired nutters that used to swim with the BNP. Ein, zwei... reach for that phone!

4. James MacMillan CBE. Conservative, Christian (of the Roman Catholic sub-sect) and controversial. He has compared pro-independence artists to the Blackshirts and doesn't like the Scots Tories having a lesbian leader. This could be a win-win situation for UKIP - a raving right-winger who is still kind of... respectable. By some. He still looks like a pompous auld fart though and accusing others of being Blackshirt may backfire.

5. Whatshername Hopkins. Your typical vacuous south-of-England rent-a-quote, if you like your quotes offensive. Even the Daily Star compared her to a horse. She doesn't like 'gingers', old people in mobility scooters, the working class or Scotland. If you're Farage and you want either another mistress or someone to add an equine a feminine touch to your radge party then Hopkins is your girl. Probably her most infamous tweet was this one:
“Life expectancy in Scotland 07/08 birth is 59.5. Goodness me. That lot will do anything to avoid working until retirement.”
Poorly timed, the controversial pundit posted the message just hours after a police helicopter crashed into a pub in Glasgow, killing nine people and injuring 32 more.
The Independent.

6. Leigh Griffiths. At first glance you may think that the Hibernian fan and Celtic FC striker is a bit thick to involved in politics but I don't see any difference between him and many of UKIP's extremist past, present or former political candidates. He doesn't like homosexuals, east Europeans or Muslims of a Scottish-Asian background. Perfecto para UKIP, no? On the other hand he has probably never heard of Brussels.

Hey it's not perfect but you spins yer wheel and takes yer chances!

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

How to dismantle Ukip in one easy step....

Actually, I'd probably take advantage of their Freepost address just to make them pay for the privilege of being humiliated.

Read on...

Read this email exchange in which a local resident takes apart UKIP

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Advantage Herald and where next for the Hootsmon's HQ?

Interesting times in Scotland's auld print media. Today's Sunday Herald announcement that it will back a Yes vote in the referendum has gained it acres of coverage on social media, many inches in the print of other papers as well as a few minutes on telly.

It is welcome though it is also probably a shrewd marketing move as well. If polls are correct, currently a pretty solid 40% of us are pro-indy with another 15 to 20% undecided. As the auld guard of what passes for journalism these days regurgitates the same auld scare-stories, it is a wonder that more of these dying organs don't twig that they're basically shitting on the intelligence of some 60% of their potential readership.

The Scotsman - now famous for its 'SNP accused...' and 'independence fears' headlines - is now 'downsizing' its HQ from the expensive but central location next to the Scots Parliament to a bog standard and ugly office block out of the town centre. 

It has also lost a significant number of staff over the years including the man who designed its once reputable and reliable website. Now, it's website is not very user friendly, the content mostly patronising shit while the print newspapers in the Scotsman stable come across as the boring bastard children of the Daily Mail and Reader's Digest. Even their one decent sports reporter, Tom English, has recently jumped from the stinking ship. It's nemesis, the 'CyberNat' media on the other hand is going from strength to strength. Wings Over Scotland's has a larger readership than the Scotsman's print version if not the online content too.

As the Scotsman's vague and reticent owners seek to save more dough while also trying to stem the hemorrhage of readers, it's fair to ask 'Where's the next stop for the Scotsman as it travels the tramline to oblivion?'

A ruined sheiling on Mòinteach Bharbhais? The back room of the Diggers in Gorgie? The 'Scotch' MPs' quarters in Westminster post-independence?

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

The banana selfie we'll never see

When racism rears its head in football, some racists are more equal than others. If you're a first team regular for Glasgow Celtic and a Hibernian fan who's been filmed in a bar mocking another player as a 'fucking refugee' on account of his east European origin then there's some wiggle room.

It's good to see footballing professionals throughout Europe take a stand against racism and in solidarity with Dani Alves. Leigh Griffiths has a track record of racist and homophobic abuse. His clubs, Hibernian and Celtic, should know better. Some excuse him on grounds of his working class origin and alleged low IQ. The same charges could be levelled at much of the BNP or EDL membership and no sane person tolerates them.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Better Together, cataclysmic apart...

Former NATO numptie

In the Gaelic of Islay, thank you is not 'tapadh leat' but 'gu robh math agad'

So, to Lord George of Port Ellen, 'gu robh math agad' for warning us of impending violent meltdown upon an affirmative and democratic vote for self-determination.

Robertson's mouth. Not what you think it is.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Fun at the fitba with Leigh Griffiths and The Rangers!

Scottish football has been all shook up but some things have stayed just the way they always were. Such as... Rangers fans bringing violence and aggression to another city. A Celtic player indulging in dumb but dodgy politics. On the bright side, Raith Rovers have won more games at Easter Road in 2014 than Hibs have and one of them was against a Rangers' side who were marginally less violent than their fans outside.

With Rangers, you know where you are. They don't just have some dodgy fans, they have them in the thousands. At least. As I've mentioned before though, some teams and their fans see themselves as occupying a moral highground when it comes to attitudes to bigotry and racism. Celtic and Hibs are probably the proudest wearers of the golden halos in Scottish football.

Having moronic fans is one thing but having highly-paid professional players indulging in anti-social and racist behaviour is another. Celtic have been here before with Scott Brown's infamous fotie-op with the SDL. Hibs have been there with Derek Riordain and Leigh Griffiths. Now Celtic have Leigh Griffiths on their hands.

What will they do? Both clubs make a lot of their origins as clubs formed by immigrant refugees. To have a major first team player singing anti-refugee songs in a pub with racist fans of another team must surely see his ass exiting the door.

Some Celtic fans such as Glasgow-born Phil MacGiollaBháin make much of the bigotry of others. Is racism only unacceptable when aimed at those who claim Irish descent? MacGiollaBháin condemns Griffiths but only makes a meek demand that Celtic 'take him on about it'. As observed, Griffiths has form on the racist front and seems to find it difficult to keep out of trouble in other areas too.

Sadly, if Celtic do let Griffiths go, it seems as if many Hibs' fans are only too willing to take him on again. Most Hibs fans on the Hibs Net forum condemn his behaviour but seem to happy to take back a prolific goalscorer. This isn't much of a moral highground.

Scottish football has progressed though a significant minority still shit in their own backyard.

In recent years, I've started attending Hearts' games again after a long absence, mainly to support the club that became the local team of my Irish and Catholic great-grandmother and her sons. At first, the cross-community aspect of the Hearts' support was a joy to behold. I can remember the bad old days when significant numbers of fans would shout or sing songs that were offensive in one way or another. But here were fans of all colours presenting a genuine cross-section of the Gorgie Dalry community with many Asian, Eastern European and Chinese Scots. There were also families and more women in attendance than I remember years back.

Unfortunately, at my next derby game I was forced to confront a pair of fat and ageing bigots who repeatedly shouted anti-Irish abuse at the Hibs' players. There's always one or two dickheads who spoil the party. I later heard from a Hibs' fan that one or two of their supporters had shouted 'Paki bastard' at Hearts' Mehdi Taouill - a French Moroccan.

Fighting racism will be a never ending battle. There will always be someone who feels the need to impinge on the freedom of others. What matters is how we deal with it.

Paying a racist ned a small fortune just because he can score goals does not deal with it. If education is the answer then a spell of unemployment will give him the message.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Margo: clach air a càrn

She knew what Scotland needed to flourish and she knew what Scotland needed was to share its wealth and use it for the benefit of all. Here's hoping that the Assisted Suicide bill she brought forward will be accepted by a progressive parliament that looks to the future and isn't chained by any conservative or religious moral outlooks.


Wednesday, March 26, 2014

SPT shoot themselves in the foot

In short, Glasgow Labour Party Strathclyde Passenger Transport has banned these ads for Wings Over Scotland on the grounds that they are 'political'. Despite no party political opinion being advanced and only a constitutional position implied, the secretariat of the SPT has said 'naw'.

Funnily enough, the ad has now been shared and re-tweeted on soshul meeja sites with articles also appearing on the Guardian, BBC and STV websites. Expect some of those 37 'national' papers to follow suit with a dour denunciation tomorrow. After all, Wings' readership is booming while the readership and sales of pisspoor rags like the Scotsman are in a Hibs-style freefall. In what is becoming a win-win situation for Wings - and balanced reporting of the referendum - all monies have been returned to Mr Campbell at WoS.

Free publicity courtesy of the SPT. Malcolm McLaren will be chuckling in his grave.