Saturday, February 12, 2011

Blazing Saddles surfaces in Top Gear

Not being a fan of expensive metal boxes on wheels, I'm not really into Top Gear. And not being an middle-aged overweight sleazy right-wing private school rugger type, I think that Jeremy Clarkson is a prize bawbag. The team of misfits and freaks have now shown how brave and witty they are by insulting Mexicans. Needless to say, this was done at a safe distance of several thousand miles. Were they to try out their 'edgy' humour on real Mexicans in say, Tijuana, they might actually find themselves beheaded by one of the local drug gangs. That though would assume that these thick middle-class white boys were intelligent enough to speak Spanish.

There are some in Scotland who think that the arrogant, bigoted and posh Sassanach as embodied in the Top Gear team is representative of the English generally. While there are those who even when being benign treat us and others like curious pygmies, it is telling that you rarely hear a working-class English accent in either Top Gear or amongst the 'white settlers' who come to Scotland.

For the uninitiated, Jeremy Clarkson is himself a stereotypical motoring nerd. Podgy, white and privileged, he attended - surprise, surprise - a posh English private school whose 'edgy' former pupils include the Earl of Scarborough. Cool or what? He is attended to in his program by sleazy lizard eyed short-arse Richard Hammond. What is more worrying is that Hammond - who looks like the offspring of Fred West and an iguana - also pops up in a sleazy black leather trenchcoat on a kids' science program. Hammond's forked tongue is usually seen zipping in and out of Clarkson's bum sheuch while Jeremy guffaws like a typical public school oaf. Is Hammond exempt from Disclosure checks? Lastly, is the ironically effeminate James May who could possibly be the bastard son of Michael Heseltine and Anne Widdecombe. Is it my imagination or does he wave his bouffant grey mane as a nervous tick adopted as a result of being bullied at school? Apparently he often takes the role of 'the biscuit' when the other two engage in the schoolboy masturbatory pursuit of 'shoot the biscuit'.

Steve Cougan, a man who has spent the last decade searching for a funny joke, succinctly summed up the generally sad nature of these dicks in the Guardian. Here's a taste:
Richard has his tongue so far down the back of Jeremy's trousers he could forge a career as the back end of a pantomime horse. His attempt to foster some Clarkson-like maverick status with his "edgy" humour is truly tragic. He reminds you of the squirt at school as he hangs round Clarkson the bully, as if to say, "I'm with him". Meanwhile, James May stands at the back holding their coats as they beat up the boy with the stutter.
Reading about three privileged white guys rip the easy piss out of a safe target reminds me of yon railroad scene in classic film Blazing Saddles. In the clip below, I wonder if you can spot the Top Gear guys amongst the white boy braindoners seeking to exploit those they see as below them? All in all, this film that has more genuinely laugh-out-loud edgy witty and un-PC humour in its first 5 minutes than in the combined 'creative' output of the Top Gear team - and that includes their various columns in such rags as The Sun, Times and Daily Telegraph.

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