Johann Lamont - a woman of many faeces

In the past, the Iron Lady of Scottish politics has perhaps been unfairly treated. Say, portrayed as a sad auld jakie whose days of youth, vigour and radical action are long gone. However, now she has now wholeheartedly adopted the policies, excuses and even the language of the Tories. The taxpaying public are scolded for expecting 'something for nothing' and that we should apply 'common sense' to public finances. Lamont is going from a sad auld figure to a new Thatcher.

Much has been said in recent days of Scottish Labour's sudden and sickening lurch to the right - even mainstream journos on the BBC has expressed their shock and dismay - so there will be few words here. Even Angus Macleod of the Times - and no Jimmy Reid is he - questioned that if the elderly, the sick and students were to be means-tested for their benefits and entitlements then what next? The NHS?

I can point you to the erstwhile Jimmy Reid Foundation - poor Jimmy would be livid at the current position of Scottish Labour and Bella Caledonia for some good reading on this topic.

Suffice to say at a time when the UK government is pursuing projects that started under Labour or are still supported by Labour - including Johann Lamont - paying the PFI rents on schools and hospitals, such building aircraft carriers, renewing Trident, maintaining a fleet of nuclear submarines, maintaining the huge subsidies on nuclear power and continued involvement in foreign escapades such as Libya and Afghanistan, it won't wash to say 'we can't afford these public services.'

As always, it's a matter of priorities. We could choose to protect and enhance the lives of Scottish people through better public services - that we all pay for already - or go down the auld road of arming ourselves to the teeth in the spirit of Rule Britannia.

This also comes after Labour has joined with the Tories in Stirling Council and delivered...a council-tax cut! I'm not really sure how that will protect services in Stirling. For example, how will Stirling Council reduce class sizes with a reduced income?

Labour... are kaputt.

Numbers

No, not the book of the Old Testament much favoured by many latter-day cherry picking Christians, but the number of people who took to the streets to march for Scotland's independence.

As someone who was present on the march with another family enjoying the chance to support the 'Yes' cause in the Edinburgh sunshine, I feel more than qualified to pour cold water on the bitter reports of the occasion in 'our' press. The Scotsman has long been at odds with Scottish society - it earned the nickname of 'Daily Liar' by Highlanders in the late 1800s due the papers support for the landlords in the Highland Clearances. Even an exhibition by Edvard 'The Scream' Munch in 1932 Edinburgh was disapproved of.  These days its not uncommon for the Scotsman to reprint 'news' from the Daily Mail - this article appeared in the Mail on Sunday last week before making it into a gleeful Scotsman the following day.

Sadly, the Herald also joined in snide-fest.

The march itself was a superb occasion. Regarding the numbers, I'd estimate at least 9000. Bella Caledonia deals with issue in more depth.

I did note the predictable comments of Scottish Labour which also bizarrely mentioned that the indy march was but a dwarf in comparison to the 80000 who demonstrated against the Iraq War. That would be the demonstration against.... er, Labour who took us into that illegal war.

On the other hand, it was by far the biggest demonstration in favour of Scottish independence ever. Who would bet against the next one being bigger still?

Numbers are only part of the story though. Myself and other marchers, including some from the continent, were pleasantly surprised by the overwhelming positive attitude on display. Despite people of all ages, of various nationalities and from different political backgrounds turning out, there was a convincing atmosphere of standing together for a common cause. Almost a smug satisfaction that you and your neighbour were participating in a historic act for the common good.

Some Unionists adopt an Islamist approach.

Which we were, to be frank.

This attitude needs to be maintained. The Unionists have nothing to offer but negativity and scaremongering. Their cause is bankrupt. I've yet to here one serious argument for retaining the Union. Have heard various vague mutterings about 'a family of nations' but as everyone knows, any young person flies the coop as soon as they can. I love my auld dear. She's still family. But from my late teens, I've very much enjoyed relating to her as an independent adult.

While its obvious that not all Unionists may share all their views, the only ugly faces to show up on the day came from a small group of BNP or EDL 'football boys' who hung Union Jacks on a tree. Once again the Union Jack represents insularity, ignorance and hate. Just keep taking the rope boys.

That other Nick Clegg song

Before the Clegg apology became a radio friendly hit with all the biting satire of a Hugh Grant rom-com, Kunt & the Gang put together this depraved and ribald classic. Lest we forget, likes.

Basque solidarity gig

 

Was a pleasure to meet some Basques on the independence march in Edinburgh. Some of their notable punk, rock, ska and hardcore bands will be over in Engerland's capital city in November to raise money for Basque prisoners in Spain. A worthy cause as Madrid's draconian way of dealing with 'the Basque Problem' is to lock up swathes of ordinary Basques - almost all of whom have no connections to violence.

Well worth supporting if you make it down. Otherwise, it would be a pleasure to see them in Scotland at some point - perhaps sharing a stage with our own indigenous rockers?

A menagerie of Tories

As collective nouns go, it could be worse. A fossil of Tories? A coffin of Tories? A toley of Tories? A bastard of Tories?

Whatever, bad Tories are ten-a-penny and no doubt most of them remain mired in a swamp of crypto-fascism. However, in this dark age of austerity when doomladen stormclouds such as the Tax Payers' Alliance and UKIP threaten to steal Tory votes and rain down free-market madness on the rest of us, it's refreshing, if not bizarre to hear a Tory attacking plans to save the NHS money by cutting expenditure on homeopathy.

Carlaw - the touchy feely Tory

If Norman Tebbit has 'something of the night' about him, then Jackson Carlaw has 'something of the David Icke'. In spadefuls.

Homeopathy along with its siblings of religion, racism and conservatism is born of illogicality and mundane human fantasy. Its central tenet is that like cures like. Maybe... though it's the bit where the 'cure' is diluted to impossible levels leaving only a 'memory' that makes no sense. And, if there is a memory, then what it is? Human bowels? The sewage system? Thatcher's wet mattress?

Backing this steaming pile of manure though is the Scottish Tories' very own loose cannon, Jackson Carlaw. Lothian NHS wants to stop giving £200K to mumbo-jumbo and use it elsewhere. Carlaw isn't amused though and has lined up voodoo dolls of Salmond et al for the Countryside Alliance to spike at will.

There may be more reason to Carlaw's faerie-magik than first meets the eye. New Health Secretary for England, the flamboyant Jeremy Hunt, not only wants to stop abortion and sell off the NHS but is a firm believer in homeopathy. Not only that but homeopathy isn't actually the 'nice' holistic solution that some may believe it to be. Apart from being a fraud, it's a multi-billion dollar industry. Sugar pill factories don't come cheap but someone in 'Big Pharma' is being well remunerated.

Struan - methane producer

What next though? A Tory campaign to divert money from the education budget to Nessie Hunts?

Manure is something that country boy Struan Stevenson is more than acquainted with. Interestingly enough his first name comes from the Scottish sruthan meaning 'little stream'.  Struan has spent his entire life spouting a constant stream of shit, so much so that his face now resembles a cow's anus. Perfectly.

Of late, his favourite topic to defecate upon has been wind farms. He strongly opposes renewable energy being subsidised as if investment in the industries of the future is somewhat on a par with feeding new born babies into sausage machines.

Dru Mitch - Fuck Da Police man

Lastly we have the case of the cop-hating Tory, Andrew Mitchell. Apparently Mitchell is a 'keen disciplinarian' which probably means he's got a fetish for getting his arse tanned thanks to his formative years in a boarding school. Jeremy Paxman's book 'The English' goes into this kind of thing in greater detail.

I'm sure that its been observed elsewhere but were ordinary plebs to tell the cops to 'fuck off you lower class pleb scum', we'd see the inside of a meatwagon before you could say 'this is your thin blue line that has saved you from a kicking on many an occasional you ungrateful Tory prick'. Otherwise its a sad attempt by a middle aged man to 'get down with da yoof' by dissing the pigs NWA style.

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