Tuesday, November 16, 2010

A multicultural wedding!

Further to the previous posting on multiculturalism, I feel it is only proper that we rejoice in today's news that the German Prince Wilhelm is to marry his English rose of a girlfriend. It is believed that the wedding will take place in a place of worship used by adherents to a Middle-Eastern faith known as Christianity. Central to this faith is the marriage ceremony which makes it illegal for the bride to copulate with or bear children by another man. Yet another ingredient in the melting pot. It appears the Prince Wilhelm is destined to become 'defender' of this faith. It is hoped that this will be a peaceful matter as Christians have, in the past, resorted to violence - either against other nations or internally against those suspected of witchcraft or following a rival football team.

Members of Glasgow's Germanic Christian community celebrate the Royal wedding by engaging Her Majesty's' Constabulary in street combat.

Indeed, in Glasgow, Shiite Christians who swear allegiance to Imam William of Orange often engage in bloody clashes with their Sunni Christian enemies. Scotland's Sunni Christian community were buoyed this year after their spiritual leader Oberstammführer Benedict visited Glasgow to incite them to campaign vigorously against homosexuality, abortion, women's' rights and masturbation. Ironically, Benedict also rejoices in his German bloodline.

Wilhelm's brother has chosen his wedding attire.

The BBC has replaced coverage of job losses and the student sacking of Tory HQ with in-depth analysis of the entire revolting spectacle. The sinister right-wing Tax Payers' Alliance has responded by meekly asking the Royals to keep the bill down to a reasonable £30m or so.

So far, the silence from the Daily Mail and certain members of the Scottish blogging community regarding the waste of taxpayers' and BBC license payers' money on the frivolities of an extended family of foreign scroungers has been noted in the corridors of sanity.


Key bored warrior. said...

Priceless satire, thanks, I need to wipe my espresso of my VDU now.

Thrissel said...

Agreed on the Christian, news and taxpayer bits; still, 296 years after George I's accession I wouldn't dwell so much on the German descendancy one. Some nitpicker might point out that Robert the Bruce was crowned only 230 years after his predecessor's coming from France...

Anonymous said...

Excellent stuff! Like any good satire, the heart of it is the truth. Thanks for brightening an otherwise average Sunday evening.

Mac an t-Srònaich said...

Only an average Sunday evening? Its gey dreich here. I wouldn't want it to rain on the royal parade next year though... they'd just waste more of our 'tax payers' money' on umbrellas.

Joe90 said...

Thrissel... You forget that the family had a serious injection of new germanic blood when Albert Saxe-Coburg, or whatever, married the incumbent in the mid nineteenth century. Further germanic (with a little greek) blood was infused in 1947 when the impoverished Philip (the Geek) Battenberg married Elizabeth Windsor of that Ilk.

Anonymous said...

I am awaiting my invitation and believe its arrival is imminent!

God Save The Queen and down with you unwashed extreme northerners.

Come back General Wade!

Snooty (Lord)