Sunday, December 18, 2011

SOS bus arrives for Labour

Just as well that Glasgow got its SOS 'Boozebus' rolling this weekend. All three of North Britain's Labour leadership hopefulls (is hopelesses a noun?) represent constituencies in or around Glesgae. With Captain Gray having jumped ship, the last three mammals left aboard hobbled forward to fight it out in a contest to be skipper.

Bus for Scottish Labour, next stop nowhere.
And what a contest it wasn't. While we're on the nautical theme, Captain Pugwash was more exciting and relevant to the future of Scotland. Seaman Staines, Master Bates and Roger the Cabin boy didn't exactly clamour to be party leader but were more content to be lapped forward a little by the ripples resulting from departing leader Gray's farewell breaking of wind.

In all seriousness though, the messages coming from Labour regarding their future direction have been confusing to say the least. High heid yins like Douglas Alexander have acknowledged that Labour strategy for the past years in dealing with the SNP has been to spread fear of 'separation'. When fear fails, get bitter and twisted. Others have questioned the need for Labour to be obsessed with 'saving the Union'. It has been acknowledged that Labour 'hasn't listened' to Scotland and that the constant negativity emanating from their elected representatives turns people off.

Johann, Joanna, John, Joan... whats in a name?
You'd think that Iain Gray of all people would know all this. However, his parting shot at Salmond was less than gracious. I can't recall his exact words but the general gist of his rant was, 'Salmond you fkng fat poof, you've made me a laughing stock... we used to have it so comfy in Scotland but...' before he was led away sobbing by Lord Foulkes to a local hostelry.

It surely is a sign of the poverty of the imagination in the Scottish Labour camp that Henry McLeish is being constantly wheeled out like some wise auld sage though his warnings that Labour are too obsessed with the Nats are true enough. If he is Labour's Christopher Hitchens-type big thinker then the dawn of independence will come quicker than a Nick Clegg change of ideals.

Step forward Johann Lamont - or 'Yohann' according to Sky News who seem to think Labour's new leader here is a male Scandanavian though even some Scots shamefully call her La-mont instead of Lam-ont which is closer to the Gaelic roots of the name. Whatever,  Sir Johann de la Mont said, through gritted teeth, that she didn't hate the SNP and that they patently had a mandate to do what the fluk they wanted to. Seemed to me as if she was just going through the motions as if in some Winterval Panto matinee for the local nursery. In the same breath as acknowledging this mandate she then demanded that the SNP call the referendum a.s.a.p. But... aren't the SNP just sticking to the manifesto that the majority of us voted for? And, is that not called er... a mandate?

Labour don't get it. The king is dead, long live the king. They've been a festering sore for years and took the Scots for granted at every election. Scotland will be independent sooner or later. Labour could be a constructive part of that or they could wither away like the old Liberals did.


Stevie said...

Excellent summary - the neanderthalian knuckle dragging Labourites are not led by a somewhat uncharismatic hobbit and it's of course a fine and generous Xmas gift to the SNP - the SNP are very pleased and grateful to accept it.

However, we saw the 3 candidates for 'Scottish' Labour and frankly all of them would have been fine presents - still la mont is the preferred choice.

If the 3 candidates were the best on offer, then it's time for Labour to stop pretending to be a real political party and reinvent itself as a sort of 'miners' welfare without miners' - a 'whiners welfare', soon to have no whiners either.

I think Glasgow will be interesting in May - the old hegemonics who've been put out on the street will be looking for blood - there are few administrative jobs in a party that gets its funds by stealing from union members who state their desire not to pay fees.

Should be fun as they leave the 'new' generation to it with a malevolent growl.

Anyway, a huge hugs and kisses thank you from all the SNP to Labour for this fine choice of opposition to AS.

Merry Xmas and a happy New MayYear

Anonymous said...

taing mhòr
Enjoying your posts.
The photoshopings are getting close to the bone - but it is probably good for me :-)

Mac an t-Srònaich said...

Tapadh leibh is se ur beatha.

As to the Photoshoppings - actually GIMPs - they're the same sophisticated product of the crack team that designed Labour's Scottish election campaign. Except without the spelling mistakes.