World Cup coverage - those wild colonial boys

Have you noticed that irritating and monotonous drone that imposes itself on the BBC and ITV World Cup coverage? Aye, it's the voice of the English commentators. Who put the colon in colonial? Was it Motty?!

The novelty of the first football World Cup to be held in the continent of 'Efrica' has seen the civilised ranks of England's finest sports journalists descend on the 'dark' continent. We have Eton hoodie and LibCon head-boy Dave Cameron forgetting his rugger days and crowing 'Come on England'. We have 'World Cup Motty' on Twitter. Hurrah! We have the numerous references to '66 and 'England Expects' has been heard more than once. We have reportage on the poverty of the townships, while well spoken white boys ask the locals 'How do you feel?'. We even have some 'token blecks' as reporters. We have little though on the 'British' Empire's role in creating the poverty though. And little, so far, on the violence that usually accompanies England' participation in tournaments.

The Beeb are perplexed by Anyone but England. It is often thought that the Celtic Nations' habit of supporting Anyone but England is down to jealousy and xenophobia. There may be some truth in that. But few people have any grudges with the English players or even your average English fan. However, as has been pointed out before, if it is legitimate for the English to complain about foreigners, why can't the Scots complain about the English and their domination of our politics, our media and even their often well-healed and obnoxious 400 000 settlers in Scotland? If England can regularly display their own hatred of... well, mostly everyone but especially Germany during football tournaments then why can't we express our tiredness at the arrogant and patronising nature of the English media?

What has been interesting has been the comments of some of the more progressive English voices. And I don't mean Sting or Billy Bragg. Anarchist agitator, journalist and former stand-up comedian Ian Bone reminds us on his blog...

"Last world cup when England lost to both France and Portugal there was rioting in the streets. Croydon has already drafted in riot cops for England match days so a defeat tomorrow by the USA should make Saturday night out a lively one. Watch them plastic chairs fly through the air.I wonder if it’s the same in Pyongyang?"

Riot? Aye, such has been the displeasure at England's demise in recent fitba tournaments that after one, a Scot in London wearing a Germany top was beaten to death and a Russian in Liverpool was stabbed to death as England's thugs thought he had a German accent. Sure, the Scot in a German top is provocative, but the death penalty for that? Maybe the English Defence League, BNP, UKIP et al have more liking for Sharia Law than they know? Did it really take an academic study to prove that most BNP voters had a low IQ?

If you get tired of England's Christian sudgers marching as to war, then you could do worse than read Ian Bone above or check out the Enemies of Reason which cuts through the boolshoit. Or else, open that bottle of Laphroaig Càirdeas at 57.3% and do some 'rhythmic African dancing' as seen repeatedly on the BBC to the Chomsky Allstars.