In the frei market, all animals are equal but some are more equal than others.
Equally, as anyone familiar with feeding kids au natural will know, sometimes tits are unevenly balanced and one will be visibly more laden than the other.
No prizes for guessing then which mammary has been keeping Glasgow Rangers FC afloat in recent months. Despite entering administration under the prudent and watchful eyes of Duff & Duffer, Rangers have been allowed to linger. Like a plague of ants immune to any and every white powder you may sprinkle around your house. Or cockroaches after a nuclear holocaust apparently.
The worse aspect of this sorry episode must surely be the cowardice of the SPL and all its component parts. Under the leadership of Neil Doncaster - and just where did he come from? - the once brave noises made about ending Old Firm domination of the Scottish game have withered away to a 'we need the revenue...'.
Rangers now have an apparent saviour - Green (!) - though all his bluster about his 'preference' for a Company Voluntary Agreement will more than likely come to nothing. Even if does, it could take weeks. So what about next season's SPL fixtures then?
The SPL and Kneel Down-caster should seize the opportunity to do the right thing for all:
- firstly and most importantly, apply the same rules to all or to none
- send Rangers packing to the 3rd Division - this would provide a financial boost for the Scottish game. I'd certainly love to see some 4 and 5 figure crowds in Division 3 as would Elgin, Albion et al
- the increased competition for 2nd spot in the SPL would surely offset the loss of thousands of 'troublesome' Rangers' fans once or twice a season
Back to the other breast though...
...and unfortunately, there was no Neil Doncaster or Duff and Phelps to provide milk for the Hebridean firm of Uist Builders (UBC) who went under last week. UBC who had been operating for nearly 40 years and went into administration on May 8. Three days later, 240 out of 270 jobs were axed. The only part of UBC that may survive is their roofing subsidiary. Do I detect a shorter fuse for those 'teuchter builders fae the islands'?
Job losses are not to be taken lightly anywhere, but I wonder what percentage of Rangers' staff has been shown the door in the months since this debacle began?
Or are footballing giants more equal than others?
Today's empires, tomorrow's ashes.
* Tocasaid would like to thank the up and coming Glasgow-based graphic designer, A.McCoist, for the amended Time breastfeeding cover.