Iain Banks

Clach air a chàrn.

“The point is, there is no feasible excuse for what are, for what we have made of ourselves. We have chosen to put profits before people, money before morality, dividends before decency, fanaticism before fairness, and our own trivial comforts before the unspeakable agonies of others”
Complicity

 ...in every age and every state, there has seldom if ever been a shortage of eager young males prepared to kill and die to preserve the security, comfort and prejudices of their elders, and what you call heroism is just an expression of this fact; there is never a scarcity of idiots.
Use of Weapons

“Political correctness is what right-wing bigots call what everybody else calls being polite”
Dead Air

 "Scotland could have viable future as independent country. We could become a low-inequality society on Scandinavian model."

The year of the horse - the veggie alternative

Eating meat does not offend me. I don't eat it and never will, knowingly, eat it again. Especially when I see the kind of meat which passes for edible these days.

As someone who found the Scotch pies with broon sauce at fitba games the hardest thing to give up during the transition to a meat-free diet, I can also sympathise with those whose intake of flesh is at the 'junk' end of the market. No venison, oysters or shark steaks for me as a teenager.

Onion rings or horse rings?

The recent, and seemingly ongoing, furore over horse meat in Tesco burgers - and elsewhere - does leave me somewhat smug though. And, not being of the Daily shock Mail mentality, the choice of animal does not really phase me. Killing an animal, foul or fish is just that - whatever the species. They have a right to life or they don't.

Horse chestnuts or horse nuts?

What most in the media seem to have missed though is the nature of the meat rather than the species. If those suppliers of Tescos, Iceland, Aldi, Burger King and McDonalds and willing to cut corners on the genus of the animal they slaughter, I'm willing to bet the body part they supply is of no more consequence. Does anyone think the horse meat in a Tesco burger is really in the same ballpark as the horse-steaks served in a Michelin-starred Paris eatery?

Chick peas or chick shit?

Even if I were to still eat meat, I'd probably boke at the thought of getting my laughing gear around minced and seasoned horse testicle. Each to their own though and if having a deid horse's genitals in your mouth floats your boat...

The reasons then for going vegetarian are still much the same as always, even accounting for the fact that soya is the number-one cash crop of environmental misery in the world and really isn't very good for you anyway...

•  It's compassionate. Unless you live in Greenland or in an Amazonian tribe you could probably live very easily without meat.
• It's green. Leaving aside the reputed 'fart factor' in the greenhouse gas tally, stuffing cattle with tons of vegetable matter to feed a few, instead of thousands, just doesn't make sense.
• It's healthier. Let's face it - how many of you catch/ rear, slaughter and skin your meat. Even if you do you'll have to eat sparingly or get a huge protein overdose with a lump of flesh lying barely digested in your gut.
• It's cheaper. And that leaves more dosh for yon "vegan distilled barley juice".

Some reading...
Food Matters - Not sure of the veracity of all their info, but it's still entertaining and even if half of it is true...
Supersize Me - mind this one? The whole film is on YouPornTube
Fast Food Nation - another, more serious look at the meat industry.
Vegetarian Society - want info?
Is tofu bad...? - discussion on the environmental pros and cons of vegetarianism
The dark side of Soya - article from Ecologist

The Labour Olympics

For it is true. While Boris, Nick and Dave from the Condems may be taking the limelight and pressing the flesh in their red, white and blue Bedouin Tent in East London, it was Labour who did the spadework for the Great Satan Olympics 2012.

Little wonder that the sniggering anti-immigrant lizard boy that is Ed Miliband has not exactly been vocal in his condemnation of G4S - the latest in a long line of private enterprises to take the public shilling and fuck up big time.

Do ya feel secure?

Labour have long been loathed in some parts of Scotland for their Stalinist, corrupt and 'jobs for the boys' ethos when in power - be it at local or national level. Funny that, but when I first heard of G4S and their failure to provide much needed 'security' for the corporate Olympics, the first name that came to mind was John Reid.

JR, you'll remember, is the former communist and Irish-republican supporter who became an enthusiastic member of right-wing New Labour and was rewarded by being appointed Defence Secretary and Commander of the British Army in their illegal adventure in Iraq. Indeed, he developed a close and friendly working relationship with dead-eyed neo-con Donald Rumsfeld, not a man known for his efforts on behalf of the downtrodden, poor and oppressed. Whatever, it seems ironic that a Labour government would first appoint G4S to man the Olympic check-points before John Reid waltzes into a cushy 'consultant' job in same company. Illegal? Probably not. Does it stink? Aye, big time.

Whatever the noble aims of the first Olympics of the modern era, the London games are becoming known by a different set of values - security, corporate interests, tax breaks, incompetence, lists of proscribed words. The likes of Coca-Cola and McDonalds are being rewarded for their massive contribution to the wellbeing of humankind with tax breaks and the chance to operate free of competition within the Olympic zone with rivals being removed or threatened. This includes wee corner shops and schools.

For more on this, read Ian Bell's excellent piece in the Sunday Herald.

Artist impression of Olympic Hampden

On a lighter note but staying with Labour, we have Gordon Matheson of Glasgow Labour. This numptie may be top of the dungheap in Stab City but can only dream of the heights reached by  'lads o pairts' like John Reid or even Derry Irvine. One has to marvel at his religious-like zeal on behalf of the Olympics - 

Yes, Hampden Park - home for some minor Olympic fitba games - will be full. Glaswegians are very excited about it. 

This despite two-thirds of the tickets being unsold.

The answer? Lower the capacity and give away tens of thousands of free tickets to bairns.

Not like London Labour to shift the goalposts. Never mind, at least Hampden's owners Queens Park can look forward to sell out crowds this season.

Stop the Tax-Dodgers.

Glastonbury and Topman back in the dark ages

Imagine that David Hume never was. Or that everything Richard Dawkins wrote was a lie. Imagine that women didn't have the vote and were just baby factories. Imagine that women, because of baseless rumour and absence of science, were still burned as witches.

Welcome to Glastonbury and Topshop.

It transpires that vandals have desecrated a 'sacred' tree at a site near the happy-clappy town of Glastonbury - a town apparently populated only by people with double and triple-barreled surnames. Hippies, spiritualists and bible-bashers have, it seems, being trying to kill the tree gradually by embedding coins in the trunk or hanging fabric from its branches. These offerings to... god/ gods/ goddesses/ demons/ whatever were purely for selfish gain in the spiritual department. These rituals have now come to an end with the work of one selfless chainsaw wielding ned.

As to the town itself... here's what the Beeb reports:

"It's the heart chakra of the world," says Georgina Sirett-Armstrong-Smith, who is a priestess of Avalon at the local Goddess Temple. Others see strange forms and figures in the local landscape - a swan, a dragon, a pregnant woman.

Apart from witches and goddess worshippers, there are fairy followers, astrologers, shamans, alchemists, geomancers, druids, spiritualists and every possible variety of alternative healer. 

The ex-mayor chimes in with his own brand of mania:

The apparent takeover of the town by new age believers disturbs him. "There's nothing wrong with paganism but there is a certain taste of Satanism as well and I have always regarded Glastonbury as a Christian town." 

And then there's the local priest:

The local Catholic priest, Father Kevin Knox-Lecky, has also come across signs of Satanism.
"I have in the past found signs of rituals having been performed on the church steps. And that usually would involve candle grease and herbs and feathers, and sometimes blood," he says.

Of course, it goes without saying that when it comes to 'clear and present danger' to our children then Satanists are some way behind the Roman Catholic Church.


On another subject but one that is equally incredible is 2012, is the new line in offensive T-shirts by Topman/ Topshop. One compares women to dogs and one has a 'tongue in cheek' view of wifebashing - though of course significant numbers of men are also victims of domestic abuse. And, bearing that in mind... perhaps then the owner of Topshit, Sir Philip Green - supporter of David Cameron and whose political views are described in Wikipedia as 'being to the right of Thatcher' - wouldn't mind it if some hardened, crabbit and drunk feminists 'joked' his head into a kerbstone? Just for a laugh like.

Or, alternatively, Topshop could prove that they really have cajones and produce a range of 'X-treme' and 'Ultimate' items of attire for plook-ridden teenage boys everywhere. How about a range of shirts with a manly platinum-like finish and mottoes like, 'We are all Sutcliffe' or 'Free Gary Glitter'?

The ultimate dilemma of 2012. Who to hate most - raving mumbo-jumbo spouting lunatics or fat millionaire tax-dodgers like Sir Pip Green who make money from misery?

Occupy London: God gets tough

The end was nigh and so it was done. The Occupy London protesters at St Paul's Cathedral in the centre of the Great Satan had paraded their heresy and stinking sodomy - behind tent canvas - for far too long.

In the early hours of this morning, God and his son on earth, Boris, appeared in the company of several hundred modern angels and disciples - bailiffs and riot cops to non-believers - and whipped the heretics away in a wind of righteous fury.

No more shall the lambs of God in the City be reminded of their greed and incompetence which contributed to the present recession. Here in the new Jerusalem, they shall be free to enjoy their large bonuses while the great unwashed are smited with job losses, public service cuts and homelessness.

It is also foretold in the scriptures that many foreign guests will soon arrive to be greeted in the new Jerusalem by the prophets Dave and Nick Cleggeron. There shall be no upturning of tables in this marketplace.

Amen.

Further reading from the book of the BBC:

Gentlemen and ladies, it's time to move on”

David Buik, Financier