Those RUK flag options

As the possibility of life's destruction draws near, for those on the London Gravy Train at least, the Brit Nats are spiralling into a descent of Titanic proportions. First of all, the ridiculous talking anus that is Fraser Nelson - he who makes Malcom Rifkind sound like Begbie - admits in the Telegraph that the 'broon eyes' in Downing Street are 'knittin socks' at the prospect of a 'yes' vote for Scottish independence next year.

Then, LibDem 'big beast' Alastair Carmichael morphs into 'Carcrash Carmichael' as he splutters a response to the SNP's White Paper on a future independent Scotland. A scapegoat is found in the form of 'comatose' Alistair 'Black Dwarf' Darling, he of the silver hair, swarthy eyebrows and sorry record of taking Bankrupt Britain's economy to new depths. Equally, within the Labour camp, there is much frothing about standing together with the toxic Tories in the Bitter Together campaign. Fancy that... the Unionists seem to be falling apart!

Do not disturb.

On top of this, a bitter cherry was placed to finish off the cake. Just what would the RUK - Rest of the UK, that is - flag look like without the Scotch input?

Tocasaid has garnered some ideas from a variety of graphic-expert whizz kids and here, they will be thrown into the mix. A whisky soaked tongue may be stuck firmly in the cheek but are they really any more ludicrous than this garish gallery of grimness from the BBC?

The titular example above not only alludes to the UK's eye-watering debt, its lap-dog relationship with the US but has added LibDem yellow to the great flag as to pay tribute to the Lib Dem's selfless determination and true Brit Grit to prop up any minority government it can be it Labour or Toxic Tory.

Grey Britain

On a similar theme, we have a modern grey and brown construction. A camera reminds us that we are being watched more than ever, for our own safety. The grey represents the grim reality of a drab life in boom and bust Britain. The brown... is left to your own imagination.

The British Rising Sin

But hey! Chin up Rupert! There's always a cheery sun to lift our spirits. This one is dominated by a soft pink to project the caring face of Britain. The image of Princess Di was chosen by a narrow margin over that of John 'G4S' Reid to shine down upon the adoring British subjects. Her spirit above will surely guide the good ship RUK safely away from Scotchland's rocky shores. The title though is an apt warning that even the saintly can find themselves going astray and refers to the People's Princess' unwise dalliance with an Arab playboy shortly before her death at the hands of the evil Duke of Edinbane.

RUK plc

The last offering comes from those bright-sparks at the Tax Payers' Alliance who suggested the novel idea of having sponsorship on the national teatowel. This shows that RUK plc will be back in business, oil money or not! It is thought that Amazon and Starbucks have offered slightly more for their advertising than they paid in tax over the last five years.

?

The last one is for real and perhaps the scariest thing to come out of Project Fear's anti-independence arsenal so far.

Rutting season

The Scottish word for October is Dàmhair and describes the time of year when the stags would descend from the mountains and rut in the glens and straths. The political stags in the strath of London are also busy rutting at the moment and their descent has been a moral one.

The bewildering pronouncements of Ed Miliband's chosen envoy to Nof Bwitain, Johanna Lamont have been covered in gory detail in many different forums. Seems though as if her sudden swing from apparent-lefite to full-blooded Thatcherite was but a warm-up act for Miliband himself at Labour's annual lecture for the automatons.

Miliband rubbed salt into the wounds by not only demanding cuts - not to the war budget mind - but by imploring all us Bwits to submit ourselves to the One Nation.

Milibland's right-wing froth was the cue for Cameron's compassionate millionaires to again lay the blame for society's ills at the doors of the poor. The message was, once again, if you are poor then you are to blame and all you need to do is work harder. There was no carrot and Cameron presented the poor with the age-old stick of benefits' cuts. As far back as I can remember, London governments have been shaving £millions of the benefits budget. Thatcher and Major were enthusiastic slashers and the trend continued under Blair and Brown's Nu Labour chimera.

And the end result of three decades of cutting benefits?

Who knows? But there's still loads of dough left for new fleets of aircraft carriers and Trident missiles.

Labour is bad for your health.

Which brings me back to Scotchland and the bloated irrelevance that is Jackie Baillie - Labour's representative in the Scottish Parish Council for the porridge wogs of Dumbarton and also, bizarrely, their health spokesperson. Her defence of the nuclear WMDs at nearby Faslane was every bit as conservative and blinkered as Micheal Forsyth's doomed defence of the Poll Tax in Scotland. Poor Jackie when challenged by Brian Taylor on his 'Big' Debate as to whether there could be any moral alternative to using WMDs to provide jobs was unable to offer anything positive and simply stated, 'well that's the way it is'.

This kind of response to the progressive idea of removing weapons of mass destruction from Scotland is typical of the tired and complacent Labour Party in Scotland. It was simply beyond the ken and wit of Jackie Baillie to imagine that the many hundreds of £millions we spend on Trident could be spent on something more constructive and peaceful. Trams for our cities? Equipment for our hospitals? Wind and wave turbines?

Lastly is the bizarre pronouncement that London will, in 2014, spend £50million on commemorating the start (!) of the First World War. In the absence of a royal wedding, jubliee or Team GB, London obviously needs another excuse to foist the Union flag and London's version of patriotic history upon us.

If my history serves me correctly though, twice as many Scots died in their role of cannonfodder in a what was basically a war between Europe's moribund imperialist elites. Something that is certainly worth remembering in the year of the referendum.

As for the LibDems... their unpopularity has finally been eclipsed by Jimmy Saville.

STUC report on cancelling Trident

MyDavidCameron posters

Not in our name - report on campaign in The Independent

Tomlinson's killer... excessive farce

London has been a cesspit of corruption in many ways from crooked bankers to fraudulent politicians. Add to the cauldron, a liberal sprinkling of violent cops, a few 'unlawful killings' and a legal system that sees rioters banged up in days but killer cops set free.

cunt Harwood, new job in Syria

Last year saw a verdict of unlawful killing on the death of Ian Tomlinson. The cop who unlawfully killed him was understandably put on trial of his death. However, two plus two does not make four here.

Apparently, Tomlinson had a history of alcoholism and had been homeless. PC Simon Harwood on the other hand had a history of violence and a litany of complaints made against him regarding his use of 'excessive force'.

Of course, London's cops are not the only ones to use violence. Just as the politicians in Westminster are not the only ones in the world to lie and cheat. Bankers are by nature greedy wherever they are but London - under both Labour and Tory rule - gave them free reign. Some though, say in Scotland, wish to run their own affairs and do things a bit differently. Who could blame them?

Hey! Can I join the Met?

Second boozebus needed for Scottish Labour

With Eric Joyce managing to withdraw his head from his own erse for long enough to stick it on a Tory MP, the once stiff-backed sudger has seen his once 'promising' career finally hit the bottom of the glass. Years of fleecing the public purse either directly via his 'expenses for oil paintings' escapade or indirectly through his frequent indulgence in the subsidised bar in the House of Commons have seen his political fortunes come to resemble his haggard and careworn alcohol-beaten visage.

Labour wait years for a Boozebus and now they all come at once.

Forward with Labour. For..where with...Labour?

The most intriguing thing about it is just what the fluk did the Tory say to deserve such a mauling? I'd like to think that the Tory MP for Pudsey (really), Stuart Andrew called him a 'porridge wog and subsidy junkie who doesn't have the balls to go for independence'. Joyce was so inebriated that forgetting he was a Labour stooge, gave Andrew a hiding that he won't forget anytime soon. Not satisfied with sticking the heid on a Tory he leathered a few of his Labour comrades who came to the defence of the milk-snatcher.

Another angle is that the Welsh and openly gay Andrew is a bit two-faced when it comes to his politics. It seems that over the years he's played for both Hearts and Hibs, politically speaking, and jumped side depending the prevailing mood of the time.

Whatever, its kind of amusing to see the Unionists being so... disunited.

On top of the current Labour meltdown in Glasgow, the Tom Harris idiocy and the failure of several cocksure MSPs to hold their seats at last year's Scottish elections, this would seem to be another nail in Scottish Labour's coffin. The party are bankrupt and redundant on many fronts. The best approach for Scottish Labour is to cut ties with bloated and corrupt London and start again in an independent Scotland. Some have floated the idea of 'Labour for Independence'. Do they have the clachan for it though?

Eòrpa reveals Labour's PFI disgrace

Award-winning current affairs series Eòrpa returns to our screens tonight on BBC Alba. Desptie Eorpa being produced by Gaelic-speaking Scots, friends from outwith the 'UK' have commented that its probably the most outward looking television they've seen here. 

As well as its usual coverage of issues from the European continent, tonight it looks at the PFI disaster which New Labour bequeathed to our grandchildren. While New Labour couldn't get away with openly shunting all our health and education services into the private sector, it did at least make it the landlord for many new schools and hospitals. This means that some of our schools will be paying private business for many years to come. The final cost of these buildings to the taxpayer will be many times what the establishment in question cost to build. Eorpa though reveals that this is just part of the problem.

According to Eorpa:

Tha cùmhnantan PFI air a bhith connspaideach bho thòisich iad ann am Breatann sna '90an. Buidhnean poblach a' pàigheadh companaidhean prìobhaideach an uibhir seo de dh'airgead gach bliadhna airson goireas a thogail is a ruith airson ùine shònraichte. An dèidh sin tha an togalach aig a' bhuidheann phoblach. Mar a tha Darren Linc ag innse ged-tà, tha Eòrpa air fianais fhaighinn gu bheil an talamh fo feadhainn dhiubh fhathast gu bhith aig a' chompanaidh prìobhaideach airson mòran bhliadhnaichean an dèidh dhan chiad chùmhnant airson an togail is an ruith tighinn gu crìoch.

PFI contracts have been the subject of controversy since they began to be used by the UK government in the 1990s. Public bodies paying private consortiums yearly to build and administer a new building for a certain number of years. Afterwards, the building is owned by the public sector. As Darren Laing reports though, Eòrpa has been given information that the land under and around some new PFI buildings is set to remain in private ownership for years after the initial building and running contract ends.

Not only are we indebted to private business for the next century, but in the here and now, these PFIs are making the every day running of schools more difficult than it should be. Should teachers or staff wish to decorate the school with children's work, then permission needs to be sought from the school 'business manager' first. After all, who would want blue-tac stains and thumb tacks ruining their precious cash cow? Even the local council has to seek permission to use the school and its grounds for publicity purposes.

A timely reminder of why conservatives and other slaves to big business - be they Labour, Tory or Lib Dem - cannot be trusted with public services.

Eorpa. Today on BBC Alba at 20.30.

Murdoch: London Calling

What better way to get your head around the enormity of  Wappinggate, Rebekahgate, Tapgate, Filthgate etc than by kicking back with the Clash on loud and a large dram of Bunnahabhain. Coming hot on the heals of 'Duckhousegate' and the MPs' expenses scandal then it's little wonder that an increasing number of Scots are seeking independence from a London that seems to be sinking in corruption. Certainly, after watching Michael Portillo on Newsnight last week, I fail to see a 'sense of fair play' as one of the constituent parts of the 'British' identity.

This latest episode in shame stems from the megalomania of an Australian though. Not only were child murder victims, dead soldiers' families and other people, famous or not, deemed worthy of having their phones bugged but the ordinary staff on News of the World are being shat on too. Murdoch senior and Murdoch junior are at this point, standing by their hypocrite of a former editor.

Upon receiving a lengthy communique from James Murdoch last week, ordinary staff thought that is was to announce the resignation/ sacking of Rebekah Brooks. But no... somewhere down in the 18th paragraph, ordinary staff were told that it was they who were losing their jobs.

Murdoch's middle finger as seen on Twitter.

News International are bloodied but unbowed. They see the whole mess as being the fault of the Guardian or the chinless and unconvincing millionaire leader of the Labour Party. There has been no apology. Worse of all, there seems to be a determination to rub salt into the wounds by establishing a 'Sun on Sunday'.

Joe Strummer would have loved it...

The ice age is coming, the sun's zooming in
Meltdown expected, the wheat is growing thin
Engines stop running, but I have no fear
'Cause London is drowning, and I live by the river

Seeing Rebekah Brooks hounded by packs of journos and angry protesters has brought some light relief though. After all, the Sun and News of the World has whipped up more than enough hate of others over the decades: from glorifying the deaths of hundreds of Argentinians with their 'Gotcha' headline to slandering the dead and injured at the Hillsborough tragedy to inciting mobs of morons to attack paediatricians in a campaign to 'out' paedophiles.

Those British boots go kick Bengali in the head
Police sit watchin'
The newspapers been read
Who cares to protest
After the attacker fled
Out came the batons and
The British warned themselves

Poor Rebekah, like the harassed youth in the 'Guns of Brixton'...

The money feels good
And your life you like it well
But surely your time will come
As in heaven, as in hell

Capitalism is dog eat dog, a constant cycle of boom and bust. Murdoch's support for Thatcher indirectly lead to death of much of our industry. Let's hope his empire starts to crumble as well.

If you can play on the fiddle
How's about a British jig and reel?
Speaking King's English in quotation
As railhead towns feel the steel mills rust water froze
In the generation
Clear as winter ice
This is your paradise

Good apples, bad apples and unexplained deaths

Police are only human. Unlike other humans though, they seem to have a supernatural ability to avoid the usual consequences for actions that are deemed 'unlawful'. Police routinely lie in court and yet few of them get sent down like Tommy Sheridan. Murders committed by police are 'unlawful killings'. True, some of them do get sacked when caught impersonating KKK weirdos killing Asians. But, that only happens when the deed is captured on film or on tape.

Today is not a slow news day though concerning this matter. The below piece caught my attention and in particular the words, "A force spokesman said the death was being treated as unexplained."

This comes on the same day as an inquest jury in London found that the paper-seller Ian Tomlinson was unlawfully killed after he was hit by a baton and pushed to the ground by PC Simon Harwood of the Great Satan's constabulary.

It also comes just days after cops broke up a 'Royal wedding' party in Glasgow's Kelvingrove Park when thousands of youngsters had taken to heart David Cameron's plea to 'organise parties irrespective of local bureaucracy'. Trouble flared once the cops arrived.

Kelvingrove - here comes trouble

As a youngster in the shed at Tynecastle, I used to listen to the big boys sing 'Harry Roberts is our friend, he kills coppers'. Many of the guys singing it were striking miners from Midlothian and were more than used to police brutality. It was the kind of education they didn't teach in schools then. 

All murder is regrettable and pointless but even Harry Roberts' Wiki page has the word 'murderer' in brackets. 'Unlawful killing' aint for the plebes. Roberts is still in prison after killing three cops in 1966. I doubt if PC Harwood will even get a year. I guess some are more equal than others.

Hey, its like the days of Blair Peach and Cynthia Jarret all over again.