Scottish Gaelic in the #SP16 manifestos

Or not, in the case of RISE Scotland and the Lib Dems. But more about them later.

With the Scottish elections air faire - I thought I'd break my sabbatical to explore what the main parties have to say on the place of Scottish/ Gaelic in our society. Gaelic is mostly a non-partisan issue. It is a language and if it is truly of equal worth and status then a plurality of viewpoints expressed through it as a medium should not be a surprise. There are some bigots whose regular but erroneous outbursts on Gaelic issues are fodder for a new ugly breed of fringe Unionists but by and large Scottish is supported across the political spectrum.

Despite the gurning that the SNP are 'forcing' Gaelic onto an unwilling populace, they are for the most part only following legislation signed or implemented by Tories, Labour and Lib Dems in both Westminster and Hollywood.

Here we go. Let's get the worst done and over with...

The Tories - despite loose cannons like Alex Johnstone and Jackson Carlaw - the truth is that the Tories have supported Gaelic since Thatcher. Significant funding for Gaelic was first put in place by a Tory government in London. In their current manifesto, they even have a picture of Bagh a' Chaisteil and manage to state:

We continue to support Gaelic education and would welcome further dedicated Gaelic schools being set up.

Labour - the Branch Office has been generally supportive over the years. Alasdair Campbell is a piper of Gaelic-speaking Tirisdeach stock while the arch-Unionist and pro-nuke bag of bitterness that is Brian Wilson can even speak it to some degree and has been a vociferous proponent of the tongue for decades. On the other hand, one of Kezia Dugdale's first statements after expressing shock at being elected (you're not alone there a' ghràidh) was to oppose BBC Alba receiving a slot on Freeview.

Labour though is currently a chaotic mess on many fronts. As I write, a mere week before the election, their manifesto is hot of the presses. Well, kind of lukewarm. In fact, it seemed as if Scottish Labour would abstain on a manifesto this year. Sure enough given the ever decreasing standards of Labour personnel over the past few years this manifesto made even Rise Scotland's seem slick.

Two gaffes immediately caught the eye. First, the online version was published with at least one section missing - the now infamous 'hello there, hello here' gunshot to foot. Next in the language section was this...

Where on earth did they get 'Nordic' from? Norn or Norse? Or did they mean Doric? This sums up a party that has taken the electorate for granted for decades - producing shoddy campaign material with factual errors, spelling mistakes and all the finesse of a stoner staying up all night to finish a crucial essay before next day's deadline.

As to the real life language that is Gaelic, it's pretty wishy washy. Just what you'd expect from a party now famous for abstaining.

Shame, as it wasn't always like this. In their 2011 manifesto for the Highlands and Islands they stated:

Scottish Labour recognises the crucial importance of Gaelic medium education to the continued survival and flourishing of the language. We support an expansion of opportunities for learning Gaelic, including removing the obstacles to Gaelic education and growing the number of Gaelic medium teachers, especially in areas where there is strong parental demand. We will build on the achievements of the Gaelic Language Act and will enhance our support for Gaelic through encouraging Gaelic broadcasting, Gaelic arts and increased visibility for the Gaelic language in Scotland. We will also support the work of Sabhal Mòr Ostaig, the Gaelic college on Skye, and encourage new learners as well as native speakers from the traditional heartlands and beyond.

Liberal Democrats - skimming over this document after taking several wrong turns in their garish eye-stabbing website was worse than perusing the Tories' letter to Santa. Please note, multiple pics of Willie Rennie (minus mating swine) is not a positive! He either looks as if he's struggling with a bout of anal cramps or is trying very, very hard to add up the numbers of remaining Lib Dem MSPs.

This is a party that has lost any relevance it once had. With a strong representation in the Highlands, it was once very pro-Gaelic. Elected members such as John Farquhar Munro and Charlie Kennedy not only spoke Gaelic to varying degrees of fluency but were honest, likeable and even radical politicians. Now, we see the likes of the ridiculous Tavish Scott - son of the laird - playing the anti-Gaelic card in an attempt to hold onto the party's remaining 'heartland' of the Northern Isles where Gaelic does have a 'history' albeit not as a recently spoken community language by a significant percentage of the locals.

In 2011 though, they did say:

Support Gaelic medium education where there is demand and promote the language in cost effective ways.

Though funnily enough they now say that if parents in Shetland were to demand GME, they would oppose the desire of those Shetlanders to have their kids educated in Gaelic. Then again, what do you expect? They are Lib Dems after all. Would you trust a Lib Dem?

Curiously, the link to the Lib Dem manifesto I sourced included the words 'no to nuisance callers' (??!)

Answers in a Tweet please...

Scottish Greens - their online document is certainly more pleasing to the eye and does not focus on one personality (if that applies to Wille Rennie). Nothing on Gaelic education but this comes in under Arts and Cultural Diversity:

We support cultural ventures in all the languages of Scotland, including measures to encourage the use of Gaelic, the Scots tongue and the languages of those from minority ethnic backgrounds

Could do better. Support is good but any new ideas at developing the use of Gaelic?

SNP - Compared to some 'national movements' the SNP has been relatively 'language-lite' perhaps in an attempt not to 'scare the horses' as was said of the Yes campaign. Gone are the days when Gaelic slogans were part and parcel of SNP conferences. On the face of it, the SNP offer perhaps the strongest case for Gaelic though as mentioned above, until now they have mostly been building on common ground cultivated by the three main Unionist parties. That said, the present Gaelic 'heartland' of Na h-Eileanan Siar is strongly SNP at both Holyrood and Westminster levels.

Here though we have a bit more to chew on with Gaelic coming under both education and culture (A Creative Scotland) - not rocket science but something the other parties have failed to recognise. Here we go:

We will also implement new legal duties and rights to support Gaelic Medium Education as part of our ongoing commitment to stabilise and increase the number of Gaelic speakers.

 We support the central role of Gaelic arts in engaging people with the language, and enhancing the relevance of the language to Scottish society. We will also provide support for the Scots language

 We will maintain our investment in BBC Alba as a vital part of Scottish broadcasting output, and in recognition of its contribution to the development of the Gaelic language.

RISE Scotland - the new radical pro-indy alternative to the SNP 'establishment'. One could ask what is wrong with the Greens and why did the already extant SSP need to be subsumed into a new organisation but...

Nothing. They have words on many valid causes but nothing on Scotland's indigenous culture - the language, music, education, research, media, sport - not a syllable. The closest they come to Gaelic culture is promising to add yet more tax onto a bottle of whisky! Though some of their policies have a worryingly libertarian tone about them:

The primary curriculum is too cluttered, and in secondary schools the burden of assessment has become a direct barrier to better learning and teaching.

Gaelic and other languages taught as a second language would be easy pickings in attempts to 'declutter' the curriculum. Could Gaelic and other languages be taught and encouraged in other 'radical' ways? Er, we don't know. It would seem as if RISE have taken the Lord Robertson's words on 'Scotland not having a culture and languages' to heart.

Nationally, RISE will ensure that councils’ spending decisions are made using participatory budgeting techniques such as those developed in Porto Alegre, Brazil, which allow citizens to decide for themselves how their funds are spent.

'Citizens' such as Tavish Scott who could whip up a sizable minority of whingers with a grudge and decide that 'his' local area does not demand Gaelic education/ services and even if locals were to demand it, we're not going to let you have it anyway. How will these citizen panels operate? Will a simple majority vote suffice? We aren't told.

RISE should know that getting 100% agreement, or anywhere near, is nigh impossible amongst virtually any grouping of people. Otherwise, the socialists of RISE would just have joined the SSP instead of creating yet another organisation, no?

But I digress...

I expected better from RISE even though their existence at this point in Scotland's journey towards independence is a mystery to me. Their manifesto document itself is difficult to read - black text on a dark red background on some pages- gu sealladh orm!! So far, RISE seem relatively well known for certain members who gained notoriety during the indyref campaign and for others shouting at McDonalds' customers about said company's working conditions. Their highlight in the polls seems to have been a subsample of 39 voters in Glasgow, 2 of which were going to vote RISE.

In terms of a positive vote for Gaelic, the SNP promise the most. For that important list vote, you may consider the SNP again or the Greens assuming the Tories' warm words of comfort to Gaels don't wash away the knowledge of just who they are. The Lib Dems continue their downward spiral and Labour can barely get their half-baked manifesto out on time though we can assume they are still pro-Gaelic given recent voting records. RISE may as well not exist as far as we're concerned. Certainly, we don't exist in their eyes.

All in all, there's a worrying lack of action on languages of any kind from any party. Bilingualism is the norm for most people in the world. The benefits of bilingualism to children are proven. The EU is still pushing the 1+2 approach to languages and education. Bilingualism has been shown to promote positive attitudes towards diversity in children and has valuable cognitive benefits to the child.

It's been said that English is the Walmart of languages. Surely this type of myopic and imperialist attitude should be consigned to the past? If so, our politicians need to do more to equip our young people with a knowledge of their own languages, culture and history as well as insights into those of others in the world community.

That other Nick Clegg song

Before the Clegg apology became a radio friendly hit with all the biting satire of a Hugh Grant rom-com, Kunt & the Gang put together this depraved and ribald classic. Lest we forget, likes.

Occupy London: God gets tough

The end was nigh and so it was done. The Occupy London protesters at St Paul's Cathedral in the centre of the Great Satan had paraded their heresy and stinking sodomy - behind tent canvas - for far too long.

In the early hours of this morning, God and his son on earth, Boris, appeared in the company of several hundred modern angels and disciples - bailiffs and riot cops to non-believers - and whipped the heretics away in a wind of righteous fury.

No more shall the lambs of God in the City be reminded of their greed and incompetence which contributed to the present recession. Here in the new Jerusalem, they shall be free to enjoy their large bonuses while the great unwashed are smited with job losses, public service cuts and homelessness.

It is also foretold in the scriptures that many foreign guests will soon arrive to be greeted in the new Jerusalem by the prophets Dave and Nick Cleggeron. There shall be no upturning of tables in this marketplace.

Amen.

Further reading from the book of the BBC:

Gentlemen and ladies, it's time to move on”

David Buik, Financier

So many devils to sup with...

So, the great horned one has spoken from his British lair in Wapping and apparently declared his support for a 'competitive Scotland'. That could of course mean independence or maybe he's just wishing Craig Levein luck in the national fitba team's encounter with Slovenia next week.

He has however been unequivocal in his praise for Alec Salmond as the best politician in these islands. The other bit-part politicians in the Parish of North Britain have not been pleased and have passed around enough sour grapes between them to make Jeremy Clarkson's haemorrhoids seem few and far between.

Willie 'warmer' Rennie of the Scottish ConDems revelled in the rancid vineyard more than most and said that Murdoch's eight words would not convince 'us' to move forward to a progressive independent Scotland that is not ruled by a minority government of ex-Eton Tories propped up by his party.

Rupert Murdoch is without doubt a grade-A cnut. But, let's face it, an independent Scotland is gonna attract the attention of saints and sinners alike. Scots or those who support our independence are not inherently 'good'. And neither are those who support a conservative and warmongering United Kingdom inherently a bunch of crackpots, Europhobes, Nazis and dinosaurs.

It's still worth casting an eye over Willie Rennie's bedfellows in the fight to 'Keep Brutain United' and to 'Keep Scotland Brutish'. Are they any better or worse than Rupert Murdoch. As ever, Tocasaid lets you - the reader - decide....

The BNP, seen here in former times

The Orange Order - no surrender to progress

Loudmouth bigot, Ian Paisley

Aye, that Ian Paisley

Er... a long-dead and 'metro-sexual' foreign monarch.

Thatcher and friends

Thatcher's apprentice

Oswald Mosely and his British Union of Fascists would approve .

The horny-handed sons of toil in UKIP.

And lastly, Jeremy Clarkson.

Two images for the St Andrew's Day strike

A braw day indeed. More than 300k came out on strike and many thousands took to the streets. Even Stornoway and Lerwick saw demos. In Dùn Eideann, the cops made their usual low estimate and came up with a figure of 7000. Double that I'd say.

Amid dire warnings of the strike costing £500million to the UK economy -a fraction of what bombing Libya cost us - we see the usual political opportunism from Labour. Iain Gray condemns Salmond in Scotland for going about business but not Milibland and Balls in London who condemned the strike. What next? Independence?

Who knows what the cost of the Royal Wedding holiday was or what the proposed Queen's Jubilee day off will be. More or less than a Trident missile? Answers to the Daily Mail and Ed Balls.

In celebration of a St Andrews Day of resistance, I've nicked two pictures from other blogs. The above one is from Ian Bone. Was good to see the pudding-faced Alexander getting stick from the Inverness strikers too. The one below is from Scottish activist group Am Buidheann Dubh.

This is only the beginning. As Edward Dwelly said, "Se obair là toiseachadh..." 

Out for St Andrew's Day

The Tories are in power in London and that can only mean one thing. Strikes and riots. We've had the latter, as Tory substitute Nick Clegg famously predicted shortly before helping the Tories regain power. Now, despite the mantra of 'we're all in this together' from two thirds of the millionaire BeeGees of Westminster - the third one, reptilian posh boy Millibland doesn't have a clue - we see company CEOs and bloodsucking bankers coin it more than ever. The latest stat is that the top 100 bosses in the UK earn 145 times more than the average worker's wage.

 

In true Thatcher the Snatcher style, they want to fleece us of our pensions in order to feather the nests of some New Labour style PFI pirates. Some short term financial and electoral gain for ConDem Britain but like yon PFI schools and hospitals which flourished under Labour, we'll be paying them up for decades to come. 

 

Britain is bankrupt. That much we know. But how come we can still afford to bomb the Libyan rebels to power against Gaddafi? How come we can afford new aircraft carriers? Hell, how can St Michael of Gove afford to send a copy of the King James Bible to every school in Engerland?

 

More than 20 unions are calling for a one-day strike. Even the once effective EIS has finally decided to support their members - but only after thousands left them for NASUWT, the SSTA or the newly formed SPTA - after apparently acceding to some crazy demands from COSLA. RMT, Unison, Unite and loads are joining in the fun.

Go for it. Lets have an 80s retro St Andrew's day...

 

Aberdeen

12:30pm - Rally at Castlegate.

Dundee

12noon - Assemble at Dudhope Park. March to City Square for rally.

Edinburgh

11:30am - Assemble at Johnson Terrace for march down High Street and Canongate for a rally at the Scottish Parliament.

Glasgow

12:00pm - March assembly at Shuttle Street (off Albion Street).

1:15pm - Rally at Barrowlands Ballroom.

Inverness

12noon - March and rally at Mercury Hotel, Church Street.

The weak in politics

Watching the Labour drones at their 'conference' must leave poor David Icke feeling vindicated in his 'we are ruled by reptiles' theory. Ed Miliband and his Labour Party must be the most uninspiring bunch of wet sanitary towels I've ever seen since the Lib Dems. It may be unkind to say this but Milibland comes across as one of Icke's race of lizards who is desperately trying to get his message across to those of us who don't possess forked tongues and cold blood. I'm not sure about the mental capacities of iguanas but Milibland certainly has a short memory.

Miliband's audience in 'rapt' attention.

Sitting on his sun-warmed boulder at Labour's 'gathering to be lectured', the weird reptilian talked about the need to tackle rogue businessmen who tread on morals and people in order to make a fast buck. Who does he mean, I wonder? Is it Tony Blair, who with Iraqi blood still fresh on his hands, is now coining it on speaking tours while also masquerading as a 'peace envoy' in the Middle East? Or could it be the AlphaMale Dr John Reid? The one and only Baron of Cardowan, alleged sex-pest, fellow Iraqi war-criminal and 'consultant' to Group 4 Security?

Our Kingdom/ Open Democracy sheds some light on the 'nice' and ethical nature of G4S's business:

Given the numerous accounts in these reports of policy breaches, inadequately trained staff and both physical and mental damage caused to detainees while in the care of G4S — not to mention the death of Jimmy Mubenga after ‘restraint’ by G4S last year — it is unsurprising that the company scored so poorly with regard to human rights. 

With regards to ‘political activity’, G4S pays £50,000 a year to former defence secretary John Reid MP (now Lord Reid) for 'strategic advice', an appointment made mere months before G4S were able to secure a lucrative four year MoD contract and while Reid was still a serving MP.

Danny Alexander is bad for the health of Scotland.

While Reid may be a hard-man, the same couldn't be said of the revolting Lib Dem non-entity that is Danny Alexander - he of white-pudding countenance. He's complaining that the Scottish Government spends too much money on vanity projects in the central belt. Does the suet-faced whinger think that we forget the LibDems voting to spend £millions on Edinburgh's farce of a tram project instead of dualing the A9? Perhaps the next time London-based Alexander gets his lard and oats in a fankle over the Scottish Government, he should reflect on why the Lib Dems were reduced to only 5 MSPs at this year's election.

Being reduced to a 'rump' is what could happen to the Scottish Conservative and Unionist Party - to give it its full name in which it revelled during the anti-Irish mania of the 20th century. The Tories have finally woken up to the fact that their social acceptability in the eyes of the Scottish public is roughly on a par with Fred West, Jimmy Hill and Jeremy Clarkson - all of whom could probably be touted as the new 'Scottish' leader with no discernible fall in ratings.

Scottish Tories unashamedly go for the populist vote.

Strangely enough, the two main 'Unionist' parties in Scotland seem desperate to gain their 'independence' from their masters in London. Surely this situation couldn't possibly work?

Under Blair and Brown's Labour government, the gap between rich and poor widened. The same greedy businessmen who Miliband now derides were often keen to deposit some of their 'fast bucks' into Labour coffers. I don't recall Labour refusing any of it. In the top picture here, we see the main players in English/ UK politics - all of them white, privately educated millionaires. As I've mentioned before, the leaders of the 'radical' far-right alternatives such as UKIP and the BNP are of the same stock. Somehow I just can't see that rich/poor divide narrowing any time soon.

The silver lining in all of this though is that these odious and uninspiring chancers may be the ones who preside over the emergence of an independent and hopefully progressive and egalitarian Scotland.

Squaddies in free schools?

There is one 'Union dividend' which us Scots should really appreciate and that is that under the Act of Union, our education system remained independent. It may have let us down at times - such as in the 1872 Education Act which effectively demanded an end to the use of any language other than English as a medium of education. This lead to more than a century of kids in Gaelic speaking communities from Stirlingshire to Sutherland having their community tongue forcibly removed. But, it was ours to keep and to improve.

Enlightenment has seen big strides in Scottish education since those dark days. The new Curriculum for Excellence promises to put research, inquiry and rational thinking into the heart of the classroom. Rather than teaching to the exam and filling kids' heads with lists of dates and facts, why not teach them to ask, to enquire and build their own skills?

England is stuck with a right-wing mentality and a top-down attitude to education. Fill their heads with 1066, 1945 and 1966. And, if they forget or object... lets get our unemployed squaddies in to 'give' them some discipline.

No wonder that Terry Deary, author of the Horrible Histories, hates schools. In a recent article in the Independent, he:

... brands the national curriculum the "biggest disaster in British history".

"W B Yeats said education is not filling a bucket but lighting a fire. The national curriculum has turned children into buckets. And teachers are just bucket-fillers now. Dividing knowledge into subjects is a very archaic approach to studying."

On top of elitist 'free' schools, the latest ConDem wheeze to appeal to goose-stepping chattering classes of Middle England is to put soldiers into schools. It seems incredible that in an age where anyone teaching a child in any form of the word is vetted for any kind of criminal record that politicians would want to put brutalised, war ravaged and institutionalised basket cases into 'teach' our kids is incredible. The British Army's track record on discipline ain't that hot either. Apart from the cases of torture in Iraq there are the numerous sad incidents of bullying in British Army barracks such as Deepcut which has seen many teenagers left dead, either through murder or suicide.

Just what untrained soldiers are meant to achieve is not explained. Trained teachers can use many methods to deal with unruly pupils. Teachers in Scotland's schools regularly work wonders with some of the damaged young products of our society. Their efforts may ultimately count for nothing but that is more likely than not a result of failures to address poverty, addiction and violence in many of our communities. General permissive attitudes in society towards anti-social behaviour haven't helped - and here, I'm thinking more of MP's, bankers and journalists than hoodies.

So, will Cameron's short, sharp, shock squaddies beat up wee Jimmy if pulls a face during a Maths lesson? Perhaps insolent wee Billy will just be stripped and urinated on? 

In the meantime, I'll take my lessons from the kind of progressive and multi-lingual education systems we see in the Basque Country, Finland and Norway.

Spot the hooligan

 

In the current angst ridden climate of soul-searching and moral debate, Tocasaid feels obliged to chuck in its six cents worth. One of these men is a danger to society. To help you guess, some here's some clues:

• One grew up on an estate where he didn't have to work and had everything provided for him.
• One man has admitted to causing criminal damage to a posh restaurant as a member of school gang.
• One has a close work colleague and 'friend' who is a convicted arsonist.
• One has a friend, known as 'Boris', who has also been involved in vandalism whilst in a school gang. Apparently, he now 'runs London'.
• One is the leader of a large 'crew' who are currently engaged in killing and mass destruction in a north African country.
• One has a close friend and 'soul mate' who has been convicted of being a peeping-tom and of invading others' privacy.
• One is 'top dog' in a gang of swindlers who have defrauded the tax payer - that's YOU - of millions of pounds in order to give themselves a decadent life of luxury. And duckhouses for their ponds.

Having worked out the correct answer, the next question is 'what do we do with this scumbag?'. Answers on the back of a Job Seeker's Allowance Form please.

Nick Clegg and Nick Clegg

Dear Tocasaid,

I wonder if there is any relation between the Nick Clegg who last year predicted 'Greek style-riots' under Tory rule as a response to widespread public service cuts - see attached video below - and the Nick Clegg who this week said that the riots under Tory rule were not anyway caused by political circumstances. The similarities between the two men are striking though they would appear to come from opposite sides of the political divide. The Clegg from last year was an apparently well-intentioned Old Etonian millionaire with professed left-of-centre progressive views. The Clegg from this year is also an Old Etonian millionaire but one with a repugnant right-wing viewpoint.

Are they by any chance related? We should be told.

Yours,
Confused,
North Britain

Those leadership canditates for the Unionist parties.

Its high time for those Unionists to live up to their ideals and unite. Having a 'Scottish' leader who takes his/ her orders from London is not enough. Why don't they actually... unite? Furthermore, surely it's time that they have a leader that embodies their right-of-centre orientation.

Here goes then...

Oswald Mosely. Surely a man to whom the words 'British' and 'Union' have become synonymous? His vision and discipline are just what is lacking in the current sad crop of Unionist duds in Scotland. There is the small matter of him being dead of course. However, we understand that Glasgow's very own Psychic Barber is willing to mediate with a ouija  board. Initially it was thought that he'd be a natural for the Tory wing of the Unionist alliance. However, his penchant for moustaches, uniforms and large numbers of marching men appears to sit uneasily with the more conservative family value types.

The Reverend Doctor Ian Paisley. If you want a man to say 'never, never, never' to an independent Scotland whilst also saving this auld nation from sodomy, then Ian's your man. However, he's also getting on a bit and is a bit close to Mosely, both in political persuasion and mortality. Like Mosely, he likes marching, often wearing a bright orange and purple 'sash' and proclaming the memory of King William of Orange - the Dutch religious tyrant and notorious homosexual whose orders saw the MacIains of Glencoe massacred in their beds. He may be too left wing for Labour though.

The Reverend Ewen Aitken. Last but not least.  This is the renowned Edinburgh Cooncillor and former leader who unsuccessfully challenged Kenny MacAskill at this year's Scottish elections. Aitken is famous for being a 'conductor on God's tramline' as well as for being an enthusiastic supporter of Edinburgh's own disastrous tram project. Aitken, with God on his side, may be a formidable leader of the Scottish Unionist alliance though others think that there's 'something of the night' about him. There may also be a few skeletons lurking in his vestry such as his 'promotion of porn' stooshie a few years back.

The Nazi, the Scotsman, Gaelic and Rasta Mouse

What a melange! And only the English language could have such a groovy word as 'melange'. I bet those French are still trying to get their tongues are 'entrepreneur'. Whatever, it seems as if tongues have been winding people up big time.

The Gaelic tongue has wound up the usual bigots - a small but vociferous minority who think that Gaels don't pay taxes and that money spent on Gaelic could be better spent on Trident missiles and an Anglo-German wedding due to take place in April. They also believe that the multitude of Gaelic placenames in Edinburgh and the Lowlands in general means that... Gaelic was never spoken there. Apart from having unreason on their side and George W Bush in charge of history lessons, the anti-Gaelic brigade have enlisted the help of Third Reich apologists. I guess this must tie in with the Royal Wedding somewhere...

Marilyne Maclaren - "Speak English or die"

 Last week, the stooshie surrounding Edinburgh's Lib Dem education chief and anti-Gaelic bigot Marilyne 'Butterball' Maclaren prompted a flurry of... er one letter to the local organ of truth, the Edinburgh Evil News. This letter came from none other than Alistair MacConnachie or in the original and ironic Gaelic Alastair MacDhonnachaidh. He railed against the fact that Gaelic speakers were indeed bilingual and therefore should ALL use English whether they like it or not. To quote:

Rather, it is a deliberate political project intended to promote a particular concept of Scottishness.

This is done in order to revise our history as if to suggest that such Gaelic represents some kind of "authentic" Scottishness which has hitherto been "repressed" by the English speakers, and to make uncomfortable those Scots and other British who do not identify, or who are unsympathetic, with this element of our history.

In short, every time we see a bilingual sign it is a little bit of ethnic cleansing propaganda from the SNP administration telling us: "If you don't like this, then xxxx off to England."

We've been here before, several hundred years ago.

The Hasselhoff of UKIP

But who is this anti-Gael who bears a Gaelic name? You could maybe forgive his ignorance as it turns out that MacConnachie was born in Hong Kong. No Asian he though. This is the man who hit the headlines a few years ago as the Scottish organiser of UKIP who denied the holocaust. UKIP stood by their man though until MacConnachie left - after it seems that UKIP discovered his attempts to play the lead part in the Hong Kong version of Knight Rider - to set up a one-man show known as Sovereignty. He uses this to campaign under the pretence of being 'independently Green'. Despite this, postings to blogs reveal that he still harbours a hatred of the Jews and reckons that... well let's give this basket case the free-speech he wants:

Is sucking up to Jews a requirement to get into heaven these days? Strange...never used to be!

If you were Jewish, I would understand your attitude, but since I presume you are a "Christian", then I advise you to pray deeply and ask your Maker just whom Jesus would bomb.

The Scotsman and its sister rags regularly prints letters from this neo-Nazi bampot. Further proof of the Scotsman's decline since... since the days the Highlanders called it 'the Daily Liar' due to its support of the Clearances. Now, who said the enemy was English?

But, the weakened defences of the endangered English language are not only being besieged by Gaelic speakers demanding services in return for their tax money - imagine that?! - but by a cartoon mouse who speaks in Jamaican English. Rastamouse has raised the ire of English people who can't decide if this mouse who speaks like a bleckmin will sully their children's education or will upset the blecks themselves. Here's the BBC's response. Here's another message to rearrange: life/ a/ get.

More bad news though for the Invisible Knights of the British Empire in their struggle to defend the Queen's English against Celts and cartoon Rastafarian mice. Tocasaid can reveal that from next year the new presenters of Blue Peter will be... 

Buju Banton, Donaidh Dotaman and Katie Price.

The battle for the Winterval Number One!

Lets face it, the auld pagan tradition of Winter Solstice was usurped by those with a fancy for a Middle-Eastern version of the ancient death/ re-birth belief. Some would argue that we return Xmas to its original roots by sacrificing a lamb or two to ensure that springtime will return. Far be it for me to suggest that Nick Clegg or the newly evil Vince Cable get flung on the fire but for starters, how about joining in the traditionally crass and consumerist effort to get your fave song to Number One?

To have a chance, the chosen song should be downloaded from I-Tunes or the Wikileaks hating Amazon in the week starting December 13th.

My current fave is Captain Ska with Liar Liar.

Coming up close - a pun that would delight Knut - is Kunt and the Gang with the Nick Clegg Story. Facebook page here.

And lastly, a long shot maybe, but my transferable vote goes to the auld punk classic Banned from the Roxy by punk legends Crass. Fouled-mouthed anger from 1978 that paved the way for a whole raft of DIY politics, art and philosophy. Buy it here and leave a comment supporting Wikileaks. Sing along to the lyrics here. Here's Crass frontman Steve Ignorant leading the carol singing at Edinburgh's Liquid Rooms recently.

 

This December, let's keep Christ out of Xmas and indulge in some pagan consumerism. 

Do they think guitars and microphones are just fucking toys?

Nick Clegg for Xmas Number One

Actually, its Kunt and the Gang and the Nick Clegg Story, to put it mildly in case anyone chooses to be offended by certain Old German words. K&TG are having a pop at the Xmas number one slot and attempting to have the most offensive Paganmass chart topper ever. It probably stands as much chance of succeeding as the globally unpopular England did of staging the 2018 World Cup. Nevertheless, its heart is in the right place and it deserves to be circulated by the new prole media.

View it on YouTube here.

Its also probably the best article ever published in the Caledonian Mercury.

http://entertainment.caledonianmercury.com/2010/12/01/campaign-to-make-insanely-offensive-anti-clegg-song-number-one/001198

Laws - just another crook

I'm not sure which is worse about the David Laws case- a Lib Dem multi-millionaire defrauding the public purse to the tune of £40k or the sycophants lining up to pay 'tribute' to this thief. Let's face it, if those who 'cheat' the benefit system can face fraud charges in court, why can't this guy? Shame too on him for trying to hide behind his sexuality. Surely if anyone can afford to buy his own secret lovenest for whoever - man, woman or Tory - then this guy can.

To sum up some of the complements that have been paid to this fckr... right-wing Tory heid-the-baw Iain Duncan Smith, who is currently charged with tackling the benefit culture of the great white unwashed, first:

Mr Duncan Smith told the BBC's Andrew Marr Show his respect for Mr Laws had grown since they started working together in the coalition, and he was a "thoroughly decent person".

"I have no questions at all that he has the talent to be back... I've been in the spotlight myself, as you know, so I wish him the very best and hope the media leaves him alone a bit now."

Now for another Tory, this time the freakish and deviant looking Michael Gove:

The coalition's Conservative Schools Secretary Michael Gove also paid tribute to his Lib Dem coalition colleague, telling Sky News Mr Laws had never been a "tribal" politician.

Mr Gove added that Mr Laws had given up a lucrative career in the City for politics because he believed in public service.

Or the Lib Dem leader himself, a man who has made the rejection of principles an art form:

Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg has paid tribute to the "great dignity" of David Laws following the Treasury Secretary's resignation.

He said he hoped Mr Laws would be able to "rejoin the government" eventually, "because... he has so much to contribute to national life".

And talking of consenting gay couples, how about Clegg's better half and the Etonian face of the 'New Politics', Mr Cameron himself:

"Your decision to resign from the government demonstrates the importance you attach to your integrity.

"In your short time at the Treasury, you have made a real difference, setting the government on the right path to tackle the deficit which poses such a risk to our economy."

These people are self-serving scum. Stealing tax payers' money while they're seeking to cut our services. Thousands of ordinary folk are facing the dole - and having their own privacy invaded as a test of their probity - while greasy and fraudulent Westminster MPs keep each others' asses covered and pay 'tribute' to those unfortunate enough to have been caught with their hands in the till.

Bankrupt Brittania waives the rules once more.