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Showing posts with label rap. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rap. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Porridge Wogs and other irritants


As South Britain returns to normal after unprecedented scenes of rioting by inner-city youth - black in some places and white in others - the chattering classes of Anglodom - such as David Starkey - are looking for someone to take their anger out on. Strangely enough, the mass lawbreaking and disregard for the 'rule of law' is apparently a result of 'mass immigration'. 

Did the Romans leave too many roads? Did the French leave too many of their words in the English language? Did the Norse leave too many Lewis Chessmen? Did the Italians use their network of chippies to ferment unrest? Or was it the Japs who cunningly stayed in their own country but flooded Britain with superior technology? Or did the English get drunk on too much excellent Belgian and German beer?

Or is it just a matter of skin colour? If so, how does that explain the white mobs who ran riot in Manchester or even sleepy Gloucester? And, did an army of 'asylum seekers' force Westminster MPs to fraudulently claim £millions in expenses? What about the snooping of News International journalists? I know that Murdoch is an Australian-cum-American but somehow I get the feeling that the English right-wing don't mean that kind of foreigner. Whereas Mr. Chav of Tottenham uses a brick to steal a television, the likes of Jim Devine MP or Sir Peter Viggers just used an expenses form.

But when reason prevails, kind of... they change the rules and resort to the kind of reasoning you get from Bible-bashers. The whites only rioted because they have 'become black'. What about the Scots then? Well, we're just Scottish and that itself is a good reason for hatred. Even self-hatred. When Alex Salmond correctly pointed out that these riots were not Scotland's problem, the combined forces of Unionism in Scotland could not step out of their comfort zones and defend Scotland's tourist trade and image overseas. Scotland does indeed have problems - crime and violence included - but these riots were patently not happening in the 'UK'.

Starkey is strangely reminiscent of the Top Gear crew. As Steve Cougan observed of Jeremy Clarkson and his snide comments about Mexicans, these guys are like the school bullies. Very insecure and eternally worried that they may become the school whipping boy. These are the kind of boys who would love to be on the football terraces with the lads but are scared in case they get picked on themselves for being posh or gay. Instead, they ferment hatred of others and use their shared sense of Englishness to form bonds. Rumours are spread... did you hear that...
  • The immigrants are flooding in and taking our jobs?
  • 'Muslamic' rape gangs are targeting our women?
  • Rap music and hoodies are corrupting our youth?
  • The Irish are thick?
  • The Scots take English money?
  • Gaelic roadsigns cause accidents and cost money?
  • The guy in the curry-shop supports Al Qaeda?
  • 10% of every Runrig record sold goes to the Real IRA?
  • Overpaid teachers are teaching homosexuality?
Gimp masked up and good to go.
This may be especially true for Starkey. His homosexuality should not be an issue but I get the feeling that some of his new racist friends might not think so. Stop immigration? Cool. Teach school children that homosexuality is entirely natural? Hold on a minute Davy boy...

It reminds me of a commemorative rally for Franco held in Madrid a few years ago where the Castillian gentry stood shoulder to shoulder with Nazi boneheads in one solid right-handed salute. Here though, we have the likes of Starkey, Clarkson, the Tories, UKIP, the BNP leadership assuming the command while the proles of the EDL do the 'street work'.

The fact is that to the forces of conservatism in Britain - we are all wogs. If you're not black or an immigrant then... you're a trade unionist, single-mother schemie on benefits, drug taker, Gaelic speaker who has the nerve to demand some services for his/ her tax money, dangerous atheist, lawless hoodie dancing at illegal parties, dirty hippie, Gypsy traveller etc...
Koombyah my lord.

Lastly, the Christian soldiers of the EDL and their comrades in North Britain have been prevented form holding a march in Edinburgh. At first I thought that this may have been due to sex-equality legislation as the EDL, in common with their fellow extremists in Islamic groups, seem to be entirely male. Something which Starkey would no doubt enjoy. Both groups also seem to have a penchant for religion and masks. However, Edinburgh's coonsull took the uncharacteristically sensible step of telling the football thugs of the EDL to do one.

Others have commented on all these issues too. Check these out...

An open letter to those who condemn looting

Look at England's urban spaces: the riots were inevitable

Incredibly, Peter Oborne in the Daily Telegraph also waded in with a dose of reason.

The moral decay of our society is as bad at the top as the bottom 

Damn or fear it, the truth is that it’s an insurrection

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Satan's music, condoms and reasons to lose your religion

I wonder what the term 'a week is a long time in politics' would be if it were transferred to religion? After all, biblical literalists have attempted to wriggle out of their fantastical delusion by claiming that 'back in God's day, a day could've been.... a thousand/ ten thousand/ a million years long as we know it'. Funnily enough, this is just speculation -  'god' neglected to share this wisdom with his bloggers who scribed his word many moons ago. Just when was 'the day' condensed into the handy 24-hour package that we use in modern times?

Whatever, it seems as if god has tweeted some new commands to different branches of his many churches on earth this week.

Last week, the use of condoms was a sin. AIDS was a punishment from god for those who indulged chiefly in homosexual activities (am not sure if it applied to lesbians) but also those who fancied a lumber or two before getting hitched. Now though, condoms are cool! According to the Pope, it is now a moral responsibility to bag your bratwurst in order to deflect god's anger should you wish to stick it into the wrong oven at the wrong time. As I write, the Vatican is rushing out its own brand of condom, coated with holy lubricant.

Not to be overshadowed by the Antichrist, our cheerful friends in the Free Kirk have decreed that music is to be permitted in their churches. Last week, having a strum of a gee-tar or even a toot on the chanter would've landed you in hot bother, for eternity. But now, Calvinists too can get all happy clappy. Is it a desperate attempt to bolster their dwindling congregations with cool and hip McFly-esque interpretations of Leviticus? It certainly brings the auld joke to mind...
Why are Presbyterians against sex standing up?
It might lead to dancing.
At your local Free Kirk... Koombaya mah lord.
Joking aside, if these hardline Christian heidbangers had not seized control of Gaelic speaking areas some two centuries ago, some of Gaelic's famous puirt-a-beul/ mouth music may not have been born. Not long after the London government decided that the bagpipes were, er... instrumental in formenting nationalist sentiment amongst the clans, the god-squad moved in to decree that music was itself an instrument of Satan. Therefore, the fiddle, Jews' Harp, clàrsach, melodean and any other music maker of the day joined the bagpipe on the bonfire. Like modern-day drugs' laws, it didn't work though and soon the cèilidh house was jumping to fast tongue-twisting nonsense lyrics and vocables that people could dance to. It preceded rap and RnB by 200 years.

It is precisely because of all this nonsense that people are turning their backs on organised religion. However, should you need that we push to send you on your way into a godless life then here's some good stimuli.

  1. The Bible - many atheists maintain that most Christians have never read it. How can any sane person defend its mountain of contradictions, rich vein of hatred and disturbing perverse view of human relations? Even more incredible is that some people want to force this filth on children. So, next time you're in a hotel, steal the one you get free in yon bedside cabinet. Read it.
  2. David Attenborough - if Dawkins is a bit too aggressive then the British Isles' favourite naturalist and all-round genial grandfather figure will soon have you nodding in agreement with his warm brand of reason. I love his quote refuting the 'All Things Bright and Beautiful' train of religious delusion, "They always mean beautiful things like hummingbirds. I always reply by saying that I think of a little child in east Africa with a worm burrowing through his eyeball. The worm cannot live in any other way, except by burrowing through eyeballs. I find that hard to reconcile with the notion of a divine and benevolent creator."
  3. Richard Dawkins -  a man who is genuinely irritated by mumbo-jumbo and the refusal of others to recognise evidence. His anger, turn of phrase and general all-round intelligence makes for great reading. Of the Catholic Church and its obsession with circuses like Lourdes, he says "If you want to experience the medieval rituals of faith, the candle light, the incense, music, important-sounding dead languages, nobody does it better than the Catholics." 
Ave maria...

Links:
Sex, drugs and the Free Kirk...
http://news.scotsman.com/scotland/Music-to-ears-of-Free.6633155.jp
Smite-me-not condoms...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-11804943
Attenborough...
Dawkins...
http://richarddawkins.net/