Scotland: giving away our jewels

Dougie MacLean & Kathy Mattea - Turning Away

Progress marches on. Anything else is by nature 'conservative', i.e. backward and stuck in the past. But progress can also include a recognition and a will to retain that which is of value. Is it part of the 'Scots cringe' that sees us let that which is of immense value slip away? Gaelic is one example. It is at the heart of our identity as Scots. It is our oldest tongue - already producing classical poetry when the English language was barely an offshoot of Germanic Anglo-Saxon. Many foreigners cannot understand why most Scots don't speak it. Especially in today's age when the cognitive benefits of bi and multi-lingualism are evident - from Chomsky's 'innate grammar mechanism' in children's brains to the advantages of bilingualism as evidenced by Colin Baker in Bangor. Hey! Gaelic and other languages are GOOD for kids. Maybe we were WRONG to waste money and time beating it out of them in the first place?

"On Loch Etive they have worked with their Highland dreams
By Kilcrennan they have nourished in the mountain streams
And in searching for acceptance they had given it away
Only the children of their children know the price they have to pay"

It's also the wee treasures we let slip too - and often without a fight.

Alcohol is important to us apparently. But that doesn't stop multi-national companies like Diageo, who made some £2billion in profit last year, from destroying communities at a whim. They also hold many other fragile and rural distilleries in their hands and we have to be grateful for it. But, when the goodwill runs out...?

Even, our pubs and inns are routinely destroyed - either by voracious 'pub chains' who turn them into plastic, soulless shells or by arrogant incomers with no thought for local culture.

Some examples spring to mind.

The Tron Tavern in Edinburgh. Once a traditional 'Scottish' pub but one without a 'theme'. Different floors, wide selection of drinks, traditional musicians coming and going. Now, it's so shit, even students don't go there.

The latest which has been hitting headlines and forums is the demise of the Glenuig Inn in Moidart. Gleann Uige only got a road linking it to the rest of the mainland in the 60s and has remained a relatively traditional but still vibrant part of the Gaidhealtachd. From it came the three MacDonald brothers - excellent Gaelic-speaking world-renowned pipers in the traditional mold. The Inn too, until recently was oak-lined, warm and welcoming and a hub of the community. However, it's been bought over by a 'blow-in' from England who wants to turn it into a 'niche enterprise' and 'green' business. This translates as, getting rid off the good beers, ripping out the auld oak interior, turning into a cold and characterless shell, farting about with opening hours and literally telling locals and tourists alike to 'take a hike' around the nearby peninsula if they disagree. His latest 'green' venture, as reported in the Times, is to buy the anchorage and rent off the moorings to rich yacht owners and to make sure the local fishermen go the same way as the local inn he has destroyed.

And, our new 'eco-landlord' can't understand why the locals are resisting his Cromwellian attempt to civilise them. This guy was born in the wrong age. Colonial India would've been his very own 'niche'. Surely, it's time for us to take back control? Leave the Scots cringe in the past where it belongs.

"In darkness we do what we can
In daylight we’re oblivion
Our hearts so raw and clear
Are turning away, turning away from here"

Diageo's choice - profit before people

Yes, it's the nature of the beast. Nàdar na beiste rather than Airigh nam Beist. Diageo have just posted £2billion in profits. Sounds good except is was down slightly. The fact that they have made some $2 less than they did last year means that they have to 'rationalise'. And, what could be more rational than a whole raft of job losses?

I'm not a Diageo doomsayer. The nature of the beast is that we live in a more-or-less capitalist society with some socialist reins to make sure the beast doesn't eat everything. Diageo keeps open many small distilleries. But can it ever be justified to sacrifice hundreds of jobs and history in one fell swoop? Let's have the community buyouts.

Yet while Diageo is 'streamlining' in Kilmarnock, it is also unveiling a new Manager's Choice range of single-cask bottlings from it's range of distilleries. 'Good news' thought many when it was announced. Tasting some cask-strength drams straight from the tocasaid from the likes of Lagavulin, Inchgower and even Glenkinchie got many a mooth slavering. Then came the price tag. Between £200 and £300 per bottle!!! An ann às an rian a th'ad?! The Keepers of the Quaich, above, may be pleased but many of us plebes won't get a sniff at it. I can't see the Diageo stall at next year's Whisky Fringe handing out free drams of the Mason's Choice.


Fortunately, we also have 'Our Ane Choice'. So, it's down to places like the Scotch Malt Whisky Society vaults where a huge range of single-cask whiskies can be tasted before bought. The SMWS Vaults aint exactly a proletarian drinking-den along the lines of the Bothan Eoropaidh in Lewis but if you like serious whisky, it's the place to go. Therefore, i picked up one of their new Caol Ila bottlings (cask 53.131 'Turbuso Humo', 9yo, 67.9%) at a mere £38. Diageo will apparently release their Caol Ila manager's choice in March 2010 at a hefty £300. You do the sums.

Dougie Maclean, the Gathering and Caledonia single malt

It's been a while since but... the Gathering/ An Cruinneachadh 2009 was an intoxicating event. There were even bilingual English/Gaelic signs. Itself a good sign. Years ago, our indigenous tongue would just have been ignored. Now, at least it's visible.

Apparently it was the biggest gathering of the clans since Culloden though i'm not sure if the many rotund and kilted Americans here in the shadow of Arthur's Seat could have charged the guns of Butcher Cumberland. Making it to their coach in the car park 200 metres away was the best Highland charge they could muster.

Clans are something most Scots rarely think about these days. They do have their historical place and as such are of interest to some. Tourists like it. And chinless toffs with not-very-Scottish accents and certainly no Gaelic seem to love it and fight over the right to gain their 'clan seat' and play at being laird. Reminds me of Oi Polloi's angry classic singalong 'Take Back the Land' from their Fuaim Catha LP:

"I'm the clan chief o.k. yah
I support Scotland when they play rugger
But an independent country? there I'd draw the line
I own this land it's mine all mine."

I was amused though to see, in the 'clan village', a wee tent for 'Clan Paisley'. The only tartan i've seen in Paisley were the Burberry baseball caps on wee radges running from the cops and towards their own rough-bounds of Ferguslie Park. I understand though that clan warfare is still a regular occurence in auld FP.

The Gathering was not without it's good points though. Dougie Maclean sings of love with haunting melodies recalling memories of his father and fore-fathers who actually worked the Highland soil, rather than owning it. His softly spoken politics, humour and warmth speak louder than the combined ranks of professional politicians in New Labour and the Tories who still use scaremongering to keep us tied to Westminster.

From there it was to Satan's lair, sorry Diageo's whisky tent, where we managed to blag ourselves into the one or two remaining seats for their guide through some regular malts under the tutelage of Dave Broom and Charlie Maclean. It was beginners stuff but 6 free malts, inlcluding Lagavulin and Caol Ila are not to be sniffed at. Unfortunately, the Special Releases Masterclass, were a few drams too far.

And, as we rolled out of Diageo's bevy bothy, who walked past us but the aforesaid Dougie carrying a bottle of Edradour's new expression Caledonia. 'Is that open yet Dougie?', 'Aye, here, have a dram'. 'Slàinte mhath gu dearbh!'

There are no tasting notes other than it's 46% and on the occasion, it certainly was the uisge-beatha. Aye, and Dougie Maclean was a gent. Catch him at the next available opportunity.