Spot the hooligan

 

In the current angst ridden climate of soul-searching and moral debate, Tocasaid feels obliged to chuck in its six cents worth. One of these men is a danger to society. To help you guess, some here's some clues:

• One grew up on an estate where he didn't have to work and had everything provided for him.
• One man has admitted to causing criminal damage to a posh restaurant as a member of school gang.
• One has a close work colleague and 'friend' who is a convicted arsonist.
• One has a friend, known as 'Boris', who has also been involved in vandalism whilst in a school gang. Apparently, he now 'runs London'.
• One is the leader of a large 'crew' who are currently engaged in killing and mass destruction in a north African country.
• One has a close friend and 'soul mate' who has been convicted of being a peeping-tom and of invading others' privacy.
• One is 'top dog' in a gang of swindlers who have defrauded the tax payer - that's YOU - of millions of pounds in order to give themselves a decadent life of luxury. And duckhouses for their ponds.

Having worked out the correct answer, the next question is 'what do we do with this scumbag?'. Answers on the back of a Job Seeker's Allowance Form please.

Great Great Britain seizes the moral high ground over Libya

Great Britain with its thousand years of democracy finds itself once again perfectly placed to be the world's polisman. Of course, Uncle Sam has to give the nod first. Let us explain why Great Britain has the moral authority to rid the world of all bad people like the very very bad Colonel Gaddafi. Gaddafi thinks that he can oppress his own people AND do business with us. Who does he think he is? China? Saudi Arabia?

For a start, Britain would never clear its own people of the land, especially for reasons of profit or ethnic hatred.

The Clearances in Uist, 1895

Nor would Great Britain shoot its own people while they demonstrated for basic human rights.

Bloody Sunday, 1973

Even dirty hippies living on the edge of society would not be subject to violence at the hands of the British state.

'The Battle of the Beanfield' 1985

Though dirty striking miners with left-wing tendencies did occasionally provoke the police into suppressing their dissent by any means necessary as they were called upon to do at the so-called 'Battle of Orgreave'.

Orgreave, 1984

Our parliament is lead by honest and accountable politicians. This duckhouse is the symbol of the probity of the 'Mother of Parliaments'.

A necessary expense for London MPs

And our leaders would never join forces with religiously motivated extremists to wage an illegal war on a third world country.

Repeat, would not enjoy a 'special relationship' with a country that covertly financed terrorist groups such as the Contras in Nicaragua.

CIA manual - part of US 'covert' warfare against Sandinista Nicaragua

Were atrocities against innocent civilians ever to have occurred then that of course is a matter of great regret. Rest assured though that no breaches of international human rights law take place today.

Guantanamo Bay, still home to 172 'detainees'

Britain is so assured of its morality that it would take swift and effective action against any nation guilty of human rights abuses. Be it China...

Bodies of student protesters, Tianamen Square, China, 1989

 Or in democratic and capitalist-friendly Russia...

Massacre of Chechen 'rebels', 2000

We are also confident that Great Britain's friendship with nice Saudi Arabia is having a positive effect on human rights there. Particularly in its attitude to women.

'Be thankful you're not getting stoned'.

Lastly, Great Britain would never tolerate the maintenance of a dynasty of unelected persons living at the tax payers' expense.

Er...

Gone are the days when our government was run by a privileged clique of white Eton-educated rich men.

Cool Britannia was never... so cool.

Please remember all of this if you read of claims that Great Britain is wasting £billions on another foreign war while the economy withers and thousands lose their jobs. Please remember to stand in respectful silence when the coffins come home. Our boys die for you.

Laws - just another crook

I'm not sure which is worse about the David Laws case- a Lib Dem multi-millionaire defrauding the public purse to the tune of £40k or the sycophants lining up to pay 'tribute' to this thief. Let's face it, if those who 'cheat' the benefit system can face fraud charges in court, why can't this guy? Shame too on him for trying to hide behind his sexuality. Surely if anyone can afford to buy his own secret lovenest for whoever - man, woman or Tory - then this guy can.

To sum up some of the complements that have been paid to this fckr... right-wing Tory heid-the-baw Iain Duncan Smith, who is currently charged with tackling the benefit culture of the great white unwashed, first:

Mr Duncan Smith told the BBC's Andrew Marr Show his respect for Mr Laws had grown since they started working together in the coalition, and he was a "thoroughly decent person".

"I have no questions at all that he has the talent to be back... I've been in the spotlight myself, as you know, so I wish him the very best and hope the media leaves him alone a bit now."

Now for another Tory, this time the freakish and deviant looking Michael Gove:

The coalition's Conservative Schools Secretary Michael Gove also paid tribute to his Lib Dem coalition colleague, telling Sky News Mr Laws had never been a "tribal" politician.

Mr Gove added that Mr Laws had given up a lucrative career in the City for politics because he believed in public service.

Or the Lib Dem leader himself, a man who has made the rejection of principles an art form:

Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg has paid tribute to the "great dignity" of David Laws following the Treasury Secretary's resignation.

He said he hoped Mr Laws would be able to "rejoin the government" eventually, "because... he has so much to contribute to national life".

And talking of consenting gay couples, how about Clegg's better half and the Etonian face of the 'New Politics', Mr Cameron himself:

"Your decision to resign from the government demonstrates the importance you attach to your integrity.

"In your short time at the Treasury, you have made a real difference, setting the government on the right path to tackle the deficit which poses such a risk to our economy."

These people are self-serving scum. Stealing tax payers' money while they're seeking to cut our services. Thousands of ordinary folk are facing the dole - and having their own privacy invaded as a test of their probity - while greasy and fraudulent Westminster MPs keep each others' asses covered and pay 'tribute' to those unfortunate enough to have been caught with their hands in the till.

Bankrupt Brittania waives the rules once more.