Gegen Gälisch: the new German purists

Incredible but true - punk band Oi Polloi have been banned from a 'culture centre' in Srausberg, part of the former DDR in Germany because.... they sing in Scottish!

To quote from the band:

 Those of you who saw our last post will already know that we were yesterday "banned" from playing our forthcoming gig at the Horte "Kulturzentrum" in Strausberg in eastern Germany for the incredible reason that we sometimes sing in Gaelic, one of the UK's minority Celtic languages. When we were initially informed of this we thought that it had to be some kind of joke. Sadly this was not the case. What we first heard from our friend who was dealing with the Horte was -" the conzert is caceled... The reason is that some guys in the venue don't know about your gallisch songs ... I know a stupid reason. I'm so sorry" . He then forwarded a text from one of the concert crew which said "beim plenum heute gab eine grössere debatte zwekk des gallischem wa sie singen.... die band leider nicht spielen kann..." or, in English, roughly, "At the meeting today there was a big debate with regards to them singing in Gaelic" and, when our friend asked what that meant, the reply was "that the band can't play". In the online discussion that followed our announcement about this some suggested that this surely couldn't be the real reason but today we were contacted directly by someone from the venue who is involved in organising concerts there and who stressed that he personally didn't agree with the decision but confirmed that the ban was a result of our singing in Gaelic. "With us was discussed about it and there were a few people in the house that simply could not understand why your . Sing songs in the language I personally tried to do everything .... but there was still bedencken of people in the house. The mind rested more on that you just do not understand why you use this language." Well, we use this language because we believe in respect for minority cultures and their linguistic human rights, we believe in diversity and multiculturalism and we stand in total opposition to discrimination against minorities. If you've got a problem with that then it's probably for the best that we don't play in your so-called "culture centre". Needless to say we're in the midst of trying to organise an alternative gig right now - many thanks to all those who have offered help with this. We reiterate that there can be no place for racism or discrimination against minorities in our scene. For diversity, multiculturalism, respect for minorities and a punk scene free of discrimination!

The plenum has spoken

The reasons behind the Horte Soziales Zentrum's aversion to a minority language from another nation are not immediately apparent. One reason maybe that they are racist. Incredibly, there are publicly funded 'youth' centres in Germany that do apparently cater for 'right-wing youth'. Another reason is that the po-faced automatons on the 'plenum/ committee' that polices the centre's events for linguistic purity may actually be far-left loonies. There is a so-called 'Anti-Deutsch' movement that has previously taken issue with Oi Polloi on account that they sing in different languages - principally Scottish and English but also in Finnish and German. It would appear that speaking Scottish Gaelic is 'too nationalist' and speaking German will 'make young Germans proud to be German'. Either they see a movement that forces an English language monoculture on everyone as liberating and in sync with their extreme anarchist/ communist agenda or they believe rock bands shouldn't sing at all.

Either way, the discontent at the plenum's ludicrous bit of discrimination has grown wings with Oi Polloi and others spreading news of it far and wide. Horte has an handy online contact form here.

Despite the po-faced derision of some who think that solidarity between 'minority' groups is Not Cool, I see it as entirely pertinent to ask, 'Would they cancel a concert by a foreign band who sang in...Basque/ Corsican/ Sorbish/ Sami or one of the plethora of Asian or African languages?'.

Whatever, if they really wish to combat 'nationalism' by expecting the diverse strands of human culture to conform to one Anglo-American linguistic worldview then they should expect to be reminded of the last guy who attempted such a 'solution'.

Nur eine Sprache? Geil!

Hugh Reilly. Bigot.

 

Hugh Reilly is an everyman. Particularly, he's an auldman. While women may become crabbit with age, many men unfortunately morph into something quite different. And unpalatable.

Some men develop this rather nasty syndrome - some call it the EDL years - during adolescence and it never clears up. For others though, the salad days of radicalism and rebellious but progressive politics disappears with their libido sometime between the ages of 40 and 50.

The hair evaporates, the jowls creep south, the gut expands and the wedding tackle down below goes into early retirement. Worse, if you're in a profession that's notorious for alcohol abuse, then the poor battered braincells just don't function like they used to. Bitterness takes over.

In the case of Hugh Reilly, most of the above is undoubtedly correct. Except, he used to be a teacher. Teachers have a duty not to be hateful. They have a duty to teach regardless of their pupil's colour of skin, cultural background, language or creed. Just why Hugh Reilly is not a teacher anymore is not known. However, leaving behind a noble profession to write hate speech in the Northern Daily Mail/ Scotsman is not widely regarded as a smart career move.

Hugh Reilly clones take to the streets...

Due to his professional past, Reilly may labour under the illusion that he's different to the proles who attend EDL rallies or march with the Orange Order. He's not. He may choose to spread his hate while sitting in a Byres Road cafe but he's still a bigot. It's probably fair to assume that he harbours hatreds of other peoples too. He's wise enough to know that expressing these hatreds in the Hootsmon would land himself in very hot water. Substitute Gaels or Gaelic for another culture though and that's what you have. Illogical, base hatred.

He says:

BBC Alba, a channel whereby one can watch football with the annoying Gaelic commentary turned down and await the half-time analysis in English by monolingual pundits.

Would he write something along the lines of, 'I like a curry but can't stand the annoying Asians talking in Urdu and can't wait to get home to my ane white folk'?

He further talks about Gaelic being stuck in the past and plays the number game. Namely that just under 60000 can still speak the Scottish tongue. Given that the Scotsman's ethos, ideology and world-view has barely shifted since the days of the Highland Clearances when it was known as the 'Daily Liar' and that it's circulation has plummeted in recent years, Gaelic has a lot more going for it than Hugh Reilly and his right-wing conservative rag.

Amazing, wee rotund Hugh also places the 'class card' saying that only the more affluent in Glaswegian society say 'slàinte mhath' when raising a dram. This says more about his social circle than anyone elses. As someone who once worked in a squad of gardeners in the 'Corporation' I can attest to the richness of the daily language used - Scots English as well as 'slàinte' when in the pub.

In fact, I'm willing to bet that could Hugh have joined us to share his fantasies and prejudices with us, then before long, his erse would've been knitting socks.

Indeed, most Gaels I know as well as non-Gaelic speaking parents of kids in Gaelic medium are more progressive, more outward looking and more accepting of multi-culturalism than 'monoglot English speakers' like Hugh Reilly.

Hugh's world-view is a race to the bottom. And, in a race to the bottom, only bottom-feeders come out smelling of roses.

More here:
An Sionnach Fionn
Arthur Cormack

No taxi for Nigel

Sometimes, living in Edinburgh, you kind of get used to living in the glow of history. Famous residents from Hume to Donnchadh Bàn. Superb architecture. A history of multiculturalism stretching back 2000 years and more - of Picts, Britons, Gaels, Angles, French, Italians, Flemish, Poles and many more.

And then... one of the most odious  - 'charismatic' to the right-wing English press - figures to have slithered into the garden of English politics for many a long year, dares to come north.

A new pride is born, as this total cnt and charlatan, is sent packing by an angry crowd.

Farage was first forced out of the Canon's Gait pub on the Royal Mile after the landlord took fright as the demonstrators disrupted his casual press conference with shouts of "racist", "scum" and "homophobe". Out on the street, as the fingers pointed and taunts escalated, he was rejected by one taxi and turfed out of a second.

Then, finally, the harassed and ill-prepared handful of officers were forced to push him back into the Canon's Gait, slamming its front doors shut, as the demonstrators chanted: "Nigel, you're a bawbag, Nigel you're a bawbag, na, na, na, hey!" with gusto.

"Grrrr, I'm a pirate Nigel"

He's a millionaire businessmen, no doubt with financial interests across the globe. But he's anti-immigration.

Immigrants shouldn't 'take' our jobs but neither should they have benefits.

He's pro-strip-club but anti-gay. Hell, even the Tories for the most part have got over their anti-gay chip on their shoulder.

He wants 'independence' for the UK/England but thinks that Scotland's rather tame devolved parliament should be disbanded.

He's the dahling boy of the Daily Mail, who they hope will reach places that Mosely didn't.

And like so many before him, he's man with the posh accent who pulls the strings that make the bootboys dance. Worse, he pulls the heartstrings of misty-eyed Little Englanders who hanker for a past that never was.

Send him home to think again.

UKIP councillors reaching for their phones.

Aye right. But who popes up now?

The reaction to the Pope's resignation on 'health grounds' will surely be 'aye right' if you're Scottish and cynical. And let's face it with a history that encompasses almost all shades of religious mania from Catholic witch hunts to Presbyterian extremists to Orange Order violence and latterly Islamic jihad against Glasgow airport - we Scots have a right to be cynical of religion.

I don't usually subscribe to wild conspiracy theories but it seems as if the nature of the Catholic Church is to cover-up secrets while maintaining the right to stick it's nose into the lives of others. Especially the sex lives of others. So, accepting the premise that a Pope resigning due to old-age is bullshit - how many Popes have we witnessed who were obviously plugged in until eventually the wires frayed? - what could be the real reasons for the Pope's premature ejacu divestment of his responsibilities?

• The sheer weight of the global Catholic sex-abuse scandal? There seems to be 'a priest a week' being unmasked as a child abuser. With so many cases brushed under the carpet, why stop now?
• The Magdalene Laundries? Shameful as it was, the collusion between the Irish state and the Catholic Church to enslave and abuse women who they deemed as 'unclean' or 'immoral' was confined to one small part of the global Catholic empire. Not a big enough fish.
• Pope Ratzinger's Nazi past? Old news and while the RCC was guilty of complicity with the Nazi regime many individuals did resist Nazi tyranny. And while Ratzinger joined up he was probably too young to have too much of say so stories of his hand on the trigger as Jews,  Slavs, Gypies or homosexuals were sprayed with gun fire are unlikely to surface.
• Financial? Possibly. Maybe some back-scratching with Silvio Berlusconi?

We may never know. But that doesn't stop us speculating on the next old man to wear the silly hat. Some have speculated that a Third World Pope may be in order. Possibly but who's to say that someone from our very own Gr8 Britane could not step into those holy robes?

Let's go fishing...

Racist and homophobic Leigh Griffiths.

Leigh Griffiths - still in his early 20s so no chance of him being too auld anytime soon despite his haggard appearance. He's certainly right-wing enough with a history of racist and homophobic abuse against members of the public. However, even the RCC has sought to distance itself from its Nazi past in recent decades. Bit of a trouble maker though. Fortunately, if the Pope gig falls through Leigh knows that Hibernian FC - the 'holier than thou' club of Scottish fitba - will always give him a home.

Let us prey.

Tony Blair - has converted to Catholicism in recent years, perhaps with one eye on attaining the Vatican throne. Like Leigh Griffiths though, his past is a bit problematic - namely being a war criminal. However, the RCC found it within itself to accommodate Adolf Hitler and Franco as buddies in the past so who knows... Pope Antonio of Sedgefield step forward?

Notorious heterosexual Clarkson.

Jeremy Clarkson - a master of making offensive comments like many senior Catholics. His posh-school upbringing may stand him in good stead but his wide variety of victims could be problematic. Sure he's got problems with women's rights and homosexuality but he also has chips on shoulders regarding the disabled, Mexicans, Indians, Scots, Germans and the Welsh which would leave the Vatican with little wiggle-room in their global contest against Islam and Judaism to covert the gullible.

"In a statement released this week, Pope Benedict said that he has forgiven the Beatles for John Lennon's claim that they were bigger than Jesus and for their Rock & Roll excesses – in the clearest sign yet that the Vatican is working from the bottom of the complaint box." –Seth Meyers

May 26 - Bigot day in Edinburgh

I guess it's the price you pay for being the capital city of a nation moving towards full independence. And unfortunately, being independent won't rid us off the braindoner brigade.

The EDL's 'Burkhas for Boys' campaign.

With the summer month of Beltane not far off, it seems as if the warming air, frolicking hares and budding trees have brought the boys out onto the streets. And it is mostly boys as well as haggard old fitba thugs with tattoos on their necks. Maybe the season that the Celts celebrated for its promise of fertility is bringing the stags out. But is the show for us, for the burrdz or for each other?

First of all, the active service unit of the Sally Army, the SDL/ EDL plan to march from St Giles Cathedral to the Grassmarket. Are they kicking off by having a prayer meeting? Why they are marching though is not understood. Is it against Muslims? Or are they protesting at they powerful branch of the Christian religion - also considered 'native' and 'traditionally British' - which has been embroiled in numerous child abuse scandals not to mention the horrific cases of castration in the Netherlands? Maybe the EDL are pissed off at Sunday ferries 'breaking the Sabbath' on the Isle of Lewis? Hell, maybe they've never been north of Larbert and think Sabbath wrote the hymn Warpigs?

Who cares. We don't need them. If they oppose Islamification and want to protect 'British' life then let them go to church, vote Tory and shop at farmers' markets.

The Apprentice Boys, Boys, Boys

The very same day has been earmarked for a march by the... Apprentice Boys of Derry! It seems as if these young trainees are going to down their set-squares and leave their 'Pathways to Work' scheme in Colm Cille's holy grove of Oak trees and take to the streets of Auld Reekie. I have some questions though. Will it coincide with the Gay Pride march as the last Orange parade did a couple of years ago? Are girrulls allowed? And, with Protestant churches closing down and being turned into night-clubs and housing faster than David Cameron can splutter 'oh, what a panic is in thy bresty'... shouldn't these Apprentice BoysBoysBoys get their bums on the pews before their precious religion dies out once and for all?

Not only that, but the new law aiming to clamp down upon bigots has dredged up its first pair of racists. And, guess what? They're Hibees. Not from the Ugly Sisters nor the much maligned 'establishment team' Hearts. Not even Clyde, Cowdenbeath or Airdrie. But good old Hibernian.

Bruce Findlay's Simple Minds, "Fuck the System"

I should admit an interest here. My maw is from working class Irish Catholic stock who happened to settle in Gorgie many moons ago and whose family subsequently became Jambos. Maybe some Irish Catholic settlers are more establishment than others? Someone though please tell the slavering Bruce Findlay - son of a Hearts' supporting Wee Free and former Simple Minds manager (!!!) who asks in the otherwise excellent 'We Are Hibernian', 'Who's ever heard of a racist Hibee'. The loaded svengali of stadium rock goes on to claim that Hibs are the 'anti-establisment' team in the capital. Well, he's obviously inherited his ludicrous black and white view of the world, to mention grasp of reality, from his old man.

Future past times in London with Queen Fabio

Kind of. But why does London-centric English society revel in the past? Any nation could be forgiven for wanting to relive past glories. We remember Bannockburn for example, though I'd say that for 99% of those wanting independence for Scotland, a glorious victory over invading oppressors in 1314 is not a blueprint for a future progressive Scotland. Neither do we want another crack at the Darien scheme.

Not so for much of English society. The past is being regurgitated quicker than Boris Johnson can cough up blond hairballs.

There's the minor matter of the England football manager's position. Fabio, the swarthy foreigner, has been sent packing back to Italy. Not only that but he should never really have come in the first place despite the English FA offering him £6m. Jawn Terwy may not be an out an out Nazi and more of village idiot but, either way he is not really 'role model' stuff. Surely though the manager of any team should be consulted on team selection? Has Vladamir Romanov bought the FA?

Therefore, the role models of the tabloid press are calling for steadfast woight Englishman to deliver what England expects. Now that Argentina are gurning once more about those Malvinas, they need someone who can sock it to the Argies in EURO 2012. Now there's a conundrum! If the Malvinas are 'British' and therefore European, why can't nearby Argentina join in EURO 2012?

Never mind, the new woightman in the English hot-seat could always feed the tabloid dogs by having a go at the Germans who England defeated in two world wars and one world cup. The Germans should be easy pickings as they've never won any major trophy and their economy is in tatters due to having adopted the Euro.

Speaking of Germans though, it's the diamond jubilee of Elizabeth Saxe-Coburg. Now, what could be more fitting in this glorious 60th year of her reign than to give her the England manager's job. On one hand, the tabloids would have their 'pure' Englishperson at the helm but on the other, it would also satisfy the lefties as the FA would now become a beacon for gender equality.

We no longer have a woman PM in Downing Street but David Cameron and his younger twin, Nick Clegg are champin at the bit to show that they can match the Iron Lady for warmongering in times of hardship. The economy is still fckd, their plans to wreck the NHS are coming unstuck and the Porridge Wogs in Scotchland are refusing to bend to London's will. After joining with the French to kick Gadaffi's ass, what better than Falklands Manager 2012?


After all, the population of the Malvinas are all woight and they love the Union Jack more than their brethern in Belfast so its our duty to defend... er their right to self-determination. Just hope the Jocks don't get wind of that. The idea that 'Britain' may have in the past ejected present islanders and replaced them with a bunch of sheep farmers from Scotland and Wales is irrelevant. In fact, recent research by English historian David Starkey shows that tectonic forces pushed the islands from their former position off the Devon coast to their current far-flung remoteness in the Southern Hemisphere.

All in all, there's never been a better time to break away though in the meantime I could live with the Sex Pistols or Laibach hitting number one this summer.

2011 - the year of ?

In Gaeldom, years were once known by epithets rather than simple numbers. Hence we had Bliadhna Theàrlaich (1745), a' Bhliadhna a Ghais am Buntàta (the year of the Highland famine) and more recently Bliadhna a' Chac which can refer to the year when either Thatcher or Blair came to power. What will this year be known as?

Here's some ideas from the preceding twelve months...

January saw Irish hackers gain access to the website of religious heid-the-baw Ian Paisley's party, the DUP and leave messages in and supporting Irish Gaelic as well as apologising for the party's many homophobic statements. One wonders who the DUP would rather god smited first, Gaels or Gays?

February. Not for the first nor the last time do we see and hear those Ordinary Blokes at Top Gear acting like a bunch of KKK hicks guffawing at the corpse of a young black kid they'd just lynched. This time they targeted Mexicans and their cuisine from the safety of their warm tax payer-funded BBC studios. Despite two thirds of the Top Gear team having had privileged private school educations they don't actually seem that well travelled. Anyway, I'm sure Clarkson didn't mean it. After all he looks like the kind of sad fuck who eats more nachos, beef and cheese than is good for him. Hey! Lets all laugh at these barmy foreigners and dark skinned pickaninnies!



March and a tsunami of world events hit the insular telly screens of Grate Brittann. The wave of water that left chaos in Japan also extolled the dangers of nuclear power and reminded us of what a dangerous and expensive white elephant it is. The British film crews meanwhile hovered over stricken Japanese gesticulating to them like English lager-louts stuck in a Spanish village and asking bemused locals for directions. The Arab Spring was also in full swing and the 'rebels' in Libya were rioting against Gaddafi. Strangely enough it seems as if the Libyan rebellion had its wheels oiled by French special agents. Cameron then miraculously found a lot of money that he'd previously claimed was unavailable to public services and promptly bombed the fck out of Libya. Cue human rights atrocities on both sides and finally the man who'd kissed, hugged and tortured for many world leaders only months previously was set upon by a mob and killed. Thus, the people of Libya are now free. More importantly, so is their oil.

April was officially declared the Month of Saxe-Coburg due to the Anglo-Germanic Prince Wilhelm having found a suitable receptacle for the royal poor-man's custard. Marriage and royalty in one horrendous package and fodder for the tabloid X-Factor generation. I understand that in the spirit of things, future winners of Britain's Got Talent will be deemed immediately eligible to marry a lesser member of the royals. Unfortunately, Prince Harry is thought to be too close for comfort.  Sickening stuff indeed but a good excuse to roll out Laibach's take on Engerland's nashanull anthem.



The month of May saw a merry Bealltain for Scotland's march towards independence. Who could forget the glorious combination of a slick and savvy SNP and a Unionist opposition whose campaign was so feeble and lacklustre that it could be perceived as anti-Scottish...

"Why bother with the Scottish parish assembly?", "Hey, mention Thatcher and the proles and Weegies will  vote for us anyway", "Dinnae bother using spellcheck on those election leaflets."

- and these were just the Labour Party quotes. In fact, Labour high-heid-yins were so cocksure on being elected by their 'safe' constituencies that some such as Andy Kerr boasted to Scots Parly workers on the day before the election, 'See you next week hen'. Ho-ho... how the mediocre fall.

Hence, the Lib Dems' ludicrous Tavish Scott, the Tories' dusty and arid Annabel Goldie and Labour's er... who?... were all sent packing. The subsequent leadership contests were just as dull. Even now, Salmond has no-one to match him as Ian Bell reflects upon here in the Herald. Roll on independence.

Flaming June and it was time to show some respect for the boys and gals 'we' send to become Taleban fodder in Afghanistan. Armed Forces Day was just another opportunity to wave a few Union Jacks and gloss over why the fck we're still involving ourselves and our kids lives in various foreign conflicts. Scotland unfortunately, including many SNP figures, is obsessed with our martial past. Get it over it lads and tell London to stuff their Eton-accented praise and wage a war on poverty.

July was a month dedicated to dirty tabloid lowlifes and a Jeremy Clarkson disciple with a gun. Indeed, this was a mad, mad month with EDL heidbangers marching and churches in Scotland getting their knickers in a twist over music in churches and gay ministers. Dontcha just love the religious right?



Things came to a heid in August when England's cities and Gloucester burned like Arab conurbations. Jeremy Clarkson was invited to protect Engerland's architectural heritage and fly a flag for lawrenorder but strangely declined. Cue a prolonged period of navel gazing, retribution and witch-hunting in the Land of Hope and Glory. The three millionaire leaders of London's political tribes condemned the rioters out of hand. Nick Clegg in particular plumbed depths so deep that he discovered hitherto unknown lifeforms living around an aperture between Cameron's buttocks. The bleating from the Eton boys sounded even more hollow when it emerged that they too had been involved in criminal damage and arson during their 'hoodie' years. The icing on the cake for Scots came when Unionists in North Britain were outraged at claims that the riots hadn't hit Scotland. Apparently, pointing out the fact that all the rioting happened in England did not make the riots an 'English' issue. Thus, the Labour Party and Lib Dems north of the border proved that they hadn't learned anything from May's humbling at the polls.

September and some rummaging around the Facebook pages of Scottish Defence League came up with Celtic's hot-heided midfielder Scott Brown apparently bonding with some small-town hicks in their campaign against...er, I'm not sure. Edinburgh's Evil News picked up on Tocasaid's fearless detective work and Scott Brown was forced to come out and act dumb, which he did very well. Whether or not the SDL are racist, sectarian, homo-erotic or just the footsoldiers in the Army of Christ's war on foreskins - as our Christian Bible demands - no-one can tell. Whatever, it doesn't wash well with Celtic FC's claims to the moral high-ground and eternal victimhood. Allah moves in strange ways however and next we'll be told that Celtic FC even employed a war-criminal and former Commander of the British Armed Forces as their chairman.

October was quiet-ish apart from the simmering stooshie over plans to allow gay marriages and the totally unconnected case of Liam Fox who had to resign his job in the Ministry of Bodybags due to his relationship with his best man. Oh, and Blair and Sarkozy's auld friend Gaddafi got butchered.

Gay marriages are still opposed by some.

November and the month of Samhain sees a coffin load of horrors released from Jesus freaks to misogynist Labour MPs to obnoxious young Tories in St Andrews. The campaign against gay marriage intensifies with bible-bashers getting themselves in a bigger froth about either the private lives of others or the rights of other religions to the word 'marriage'. The Wee Frees warn that allowing gays to marry is the start of a slippery slope towards paedophilia and bestiality. That's a guid yin! Pity they also said that about Sunday ferries to the Isle of Lewis. November was a month of anti-sectarian unity too with both the Ugly Sisters of Glasgow Rangers and Glasgow Celtic - do I detect a geographical pattern here? - uniting in attacking the Scottish Government's anti-sectarian bill. Various neo-Abrahamic sects from the Roman Catholic Church to the million and one Presbyterian splinter sects in Scotland also united to stop others from using the word 'marriage' on a piece of paper to describe a relationship between two persons of the same sex. Those two could be Liam Fox and Adam Werrity perhaps. Or maybe William Hague and his bedfellow. Or even the new Tory leader in Scotland who is, unlike the rest, open about her sexuality.

Lastly, the dark dreich month of December ushered in a flurry of black humour at the expense of others' misfortune. Clarkson again. This time wading into the public service strikers who took to the streets in numbers not seen for many a year. The fat toff would do well to remember that his girth is a product of public subsidy via the BBC. Maybe he's hoping to inspire another right-wing gun nut to act out his fantasies for him? Clarkson wasn't the only one though. English media wee-sacks Matthew Wright probably outdid Clarkson when he guffawed at the murder of a 16 year old in the Isle of Lewis. Now that Wright's show has been axed by the crusading Channel 5/ Daily Express TV, the wee nyaff has probably hit the bottle again. Like a character in Taggart.

Having been all high and mighty about others mining tragedy or poverty for laughs... I have to admit a bit of guilt in this department too. My cheap shot at the demise of the Scottish Labour Party was below the belt. Never kick a hypocritical, London-centric, bloated and corrupt auld jakie when he or she is down. Shame on me.

St Andrews Young Conservatives get mean!

St Andrews University was their third choice. But now the dangleberries of OxBridge are showing how mean they can be. The trouble is, after the Scottish Tories put a kind of progressive foot forward by electing a lesbian leader, the lynching of a Barack Obama effigy makes the Tories look like the nasty extremists most of us still think them to be.

Of course, 'harmless fun' is a bit of a young Tory rite of passage. Who would argue that the lynch-lords and ladies of St Andrews won't be leading an independent England sometime in the future?

Due to having friends in News International, Tocasaid was able to hack into the St Andrews Tory student electronic yearbook and dig up some interesting pics.

Digby, Jeremy, Nigel and Tristan get into the Movember mood.

Wicked! Our boys are a special kind of Village People.

Here are the boys on the streets, marching for cuts.

Hurrah! Jasper manages to land his plane on the beach!

 

 

 

 

 

Breakfast at Mosleys.

Though we love Ruth Davidson, nothing gives us the horn more than Venetia in her shiny robes.

Who said Tories were homophobic? Here's some post-rugger high-jinks. Ouch!

After all this, who wouldn't be a Brit Nat? Now, if Labour had any youth left in their party, I wonder what they'd get up to?

Celtic's midfield and the Scottish Defence League?

In the underwhelming aftermath of last week's EDL/SDL 'static' demo in Edinburgh, I found myself doing a spot of online research into those guardian angels who have taken it upon themselves to defend me - a Gaelic speaking atheist - from the 'Muslamic' hordes who apparently are massing somewhere between Berwick and Jedburgh. Anyway, during my rumaging through various forums and Facebook pages, I come across a certain Celtic FC midfielder, Scott Brown. 

In case you didn't know, around 100 football hooligans claiming to represent the Scottish and English Defence Leagues as well as 'Casuals United' chose to congregate in the centre of Edinburgh against the wishes of the democratically elected local council. This lead to a huge police operation (and tax bill) and a headache for ordinary citizens wishing to go about their business on a Saturday afternoon.

Just why do they feel threatened by Muslims? Are they gonna try and erase our Scottish culture and identity? Will they beat our Scottish language out of our kids? Wait a minute... haven't Anglicised Protestant Scots already done that? And, don't we already have various versions of Abrahamic mania - like the Wee Frees and Catholic Church - who seek to force their violent religion on us?

Whatever, it was kind of interesting to see a current member of Celtic FC rub shoulders with the violent right-wing and sectarian/ racist (no-one really knows which yet) SDL.Celtic FC are of course, the 'nice' half of the Old Firm - a progressive force for liberté et égalité whose current chairman is former Commander of the British Army in Iraq, John Reid. Nuff said there.

The interesting bit is that Scott Brown is wearing Celtic colours and is obviously representing the club. The SDL guys appear to be representing their own organisation, something that Brown doesn't seem too concerned about. According to other comments on the Facebook page, fellow Celtic player Anthony Stokes apparently chose to stay in the vehicle. Proof maybe that Scott Brown is not the sharpest tool in the box?

Then again, if Scott Brown is displaying his lack of critical faculties, he's in good company. Even the SDL aren't too sure of who they are if picture below is anything to go by. This tattoo was proudly displayed by one SDL member on said Facebook page. This comes after the well circulated 'Muslamic rape gangs/ ray guns' video on You Tube. Maybe we should welcome more Muslims to Scotland as maybe they could teach the SDL and EDL a bit about the grammar of their own English tongue?

Join the SDL: high IQ not required

This leads me back to the question of just who and what the EDL and SDL are? Racist? Fascist? Sectarian? The vast majority of them seem to be involved in football violence - organised violent crime in other words. The 'EDL' seems to be just another excuse for a scrap. After all, why would ordinary Scots want a gang of criminals who can barely master the English language as self-nominated defenders? And why do they have a bee in their bonnet about Muslims? Having said that, it was interesting to read a complaint from a Rangers' fan who complained that he was attending a wedding with his South American girlfriend on the Royal Mile when she was racially abused. Other SDLers have been photographed throwing the Nazi salute while some of them profess support for Israel. They truly are a weird bunch. Maybe their biggest beef is with ordinary people who are lucky enough to have 5 fingers on each hand?

But, if they really want to 'defend' Scotland then... why don't they 'defend' small Scottish businesses on the 'traditional high-street' against voracious big business like Tesco? Will they 'defend' native flora and fauna like the Caledonian Forest or the capercaillie? Will they 'defend' the indigenous Gaelic language of Scotland? Will they 'defend' native crofting communities against the whims of rich landowners, be they Scottish or foreign? Will they 'defend' the rights of Scottish people to good living standards such as reliable and cheap public transport, free health care and good state education that's free from the interference of private companies? Or why don't they content themselves with saving stray cats?

The EDL and SDL make much of 'supporting our troops'. However, the respect has not been returned. War veterans in Scotland expressed opposition to SDL plans to march past the cenotaph in Glasgow. Little wonder. Why would some dignified old men want drunken football hooligans 'paying respect'? What are they gonna do? Urinate on the Cenotaph?

These guys are idiots and criminals. I'm not much of a royalist nor a Daily Mail 'law and order' type but I'd be very happy for Her Majesty's Police Service to give this lot some 'British justice'.

Respecting our troops? Or saluting English architecture?

Porridge Wogs and other irritants

As South Britain returns to normal after unprecedented scenes of rioting by inner-city youth - black in some places and white in others - the chattering classes of Anglodom - such as David Starkey - are looking for someone to take their anger out on. Strangely enough, the mass lawbreaking and disregard for the 'rule of law' is apparently a result of 'mass immigration'. 

Did the Romans leave too many roads? Did the French leave too many of their words in the English language? Did the Norse leave too many Lewis Chessmen? Did the Italians use their network of chippies to ferment unrest? Or was it the Japs who cunningly stayed in their own country but flooded Britain with superior technology? Or did the English get drunk on too much excellent Belgian and German beer?

Or is it just a matter of skin colour? If so, how does that explain the white mobs who ran riot in Manchester or even sleepy Gloucester? And, did an army of 'asylum seekers' force Westminster MPs to fraudulently claim £millions in expenses? What about the snooping of News International journalists? I know that Murdoch is an Australian-cum-American but somehow I get the feeling that the English right-wing don't mean that kind of foreigner. Whereas Mr. Chav of Tottenham uses a brick to steal a television, the likes of Jim Devine MP or Sir Peter Viggers just used an expenses form.

But when reason prevails, kind of... they change the rules and resort to the kind of reasoning you get from Bible-bashers. The whites only rioted because they have 'become black'. What about the Scots then? Well, we're just Scottish and that itself is a good reason for hatred. Even self-hatred. When Alex Salmond correctly pointed out that these riots were not Scotland's problem, the combined forces of Unionism in Scotland could not step out of their comfort zones and defend Scotland's tourist trade and image overseas. Scotland does indeed have problems - crime and violence included - but these riots were patently not happening in the 'UK'.

Starkey is strangely reminiscent of the Top Gear crew. As Steve Cougan observed of Jeremy Clarkson and his snide comments about Mexicans, these guys are like the school bullies. Very insecure and eternally worried that they may become the school whipping boy. These are the kind of boys who would love to be on the football terraces with the lads but are scared in case they get picked on themselves for being posh or gay. Instead, they ferment hatred of others and use their shared sense of Englishness to form bonds. Rumours are spread... did you hear that...

• The immigrants are flooding in and taking our jobs?
• 'Muslamic' rape gangs are targeting our women?
• Rap music and hoodies are corrupting our youth?
• The Irish are thick?
• The Scots take English money?
• Gaelic roadsigns cause accidents and cost money?
• The guy in the curry-shop supports Al Qaeda?
• 10% of every Runrig record sold goes to the Real IRA?
• Overpaid teachers are teaching homosexuality?

Gimp masked up and good to go.

This may be especially true for Starkey. His homosexuality should not be an issue but I get the feeling that some of his new racist friends might not think so. Stop immigration? Cool. Teach school children that homosexuality is entirely natural? Hold on a minute Davy boy...

It reminds me of a commemorative rally for Franco held in Madrid a few years ago where the Castillian gentry stood shoulder to shoulder with Nazi boneheads in one solid right-handed salute. Here though, we have the likes of Starkey, Clarkson, the Tories, UKIP, the BNP leadership assuming the command while the proles of the EDL do the 'street work'.

The fact is that to the forces of conservatism in Britain - we are all wogs. If you're not black or an immigrant then... you're a trade unionist, single-mother schemie on benefits, drug taker, Gaelic speaker who has the nerve to demand some services for his/ her tax money, dangerous atheist, lawless hoodie dancing at illegal parties, dirty hippie, Gypsy traveller etc...

Koombyah my lord.

Lastly, the Christian soldiers of the EDL and their comrades in North Britain have been prevented form holding a march in Edinburgh. At first I thought that this may have been due to sex-equality legislation as the EDL, in common with their fellow extremists in Islamic groups, seem to be entirely male. Something which Starkey would no doubt enjoy. Both groups also seem to have a penchant for religion and masks. However, Edinburgh's coonsull took the uncharacteristically sensible step of telling the football thugs of the EDL to do one.

Others have commented on all these issues too. Check these out...

An open letter to those who condemn looting

Look at England's urban spaces: the riots were inevitable

Incredibly, Peter Oborne in the Daily Telegraph also waded in with a dose of reason.

The moral decay of our society is as bad at the top as the bottom 

Damn or fear it, the truth is that it’s an insurrection

Ian Bone: Put an end to violence.

Sunshine on Leith.

England's riots - Dave gets tough

Dave fi the estate is getting tough. But who is he gonna fight? Maybe his old hoodie pals from yon hug-in? Fortunately, the Daily Mail, the Daily Telegraph and a coded message on a ouija board from Oswald Mosely have let him know where the blame lies...

blecks, atheists, gays, punks, bad teachers, socialism, immigrants, multiculturalism, Scottish nationalists, single mothers, the Irish, the European Union, transsexuals, Polish immigrants, lesbians, Amy Winehouse, Welsh speakers, Libya, Gerry Adams, the Guardian, Gaelic speakers, squatters, Sikhs, Viz Comic, alcopops, hooded tops, Arthur Scargill, blecks, rappers, Lenin, Jade Goody, sex education in schools, Kenny MacAskill, the unemployed, Gypsies, asylum seekers, the miners, hippies, the Last Tango in Paris, cyclists, Muslamic extremists, liberals but not Lib Dems, the internet, Bob Marley, cannabis users, French farmers, ravers, the trade unions, lager louts, sandal wearers, Ken Loach, political correctness, Channel 4, Alex Salmond, CND, Crass, Tommy Sheridan, Belgians, sex on television, Richard Dawkins, blecks, atheists, gays, punks, bad teachers, socialism, immigrants, multiculturalism, Scottish nationalists, single mothers, the Irish, the European Union, transsexuals, Polish immigrants, lesbians, Amy Winehouse, Welsh speakers, Libya, Gerry Adams, the Guardian, Gaelic speakers, squatters, Sikhs, Viz Comic, alcopops, hooded tops, Arthur Scargill, blecks, rappers, Lenin, Jade Goody, sex education in schools, Kenny MacAskill, the unemployed, Gypsies, asylum seekers, the miners, hippies, the Last Tango in Paris, cyclists, Muslamic extremists, liberals but not Lib Dems, the internet, Bob Marley, cannabis users, French farmers, ravers, the trade unions, lager louts, sandal wearers, Ken Loach, political correctness, Channel 4, Alex Salmond, CND, Crass, Tommy Sheridan, Belgians, sex on television, Richard Dawkins, blecks, atheists, gays, punks, bad teachers, socialism, immigrants, multiculturalism, Scottish nationalists, single mothers, the Irish, the European Union, transsexuals, Polish immigrants, lesbians, Amy Winehouse, Welsh speakers, Libya, Gerry Adams, the Guardian, Gaelic speakers, squatters, Sikhs, Viz Comic, alcopops, hooded tops, Arthur Scargill, blecks, rappers, Lenin, Jade Goody, sex education in schools, Kenny MacAskill, the unemployed, Gypsies, asylum seekers, the miners, hippies, the Last Tango in Paris, cyclists, Muslamic extremists, liberals but not Lib Dems, the internet, Bob Marley, cannabis users, French farmers, ravers, the trade unions, lager louts, sandal wearers, Ken Loach, political correctness, Channel 4, Alex Salmond, CND, Crass, Tommy Sheridan, Belgians, sex on television, Richard Dawkins... and Banksy.

http://www.banksyunmasked.co.uk/

The Nazi, the Scotsman, Gaelic and Rasta Mouse

What a melange! And only the English language could have such a groovy word as 'melange'. I bet those French are still trying to get their tongues are 'entrepreneur'. Whatever, it seems as if tongues have been winding people up big time.

The Gaelic tongue has wound up the usual bigots - a small but vociferous minority who think that Gaels don't pay taxes and that money spent on Gaelic could be better spent on Trident missiles and an Anglo-German wedding due to take place in April. They also believe that the multitude of Gaelic placenames in Edinburgh and the Lowlands in general means that... Gaelic was never spoken there. Apart from having unreason on their side and George W Bush in charge of history lessons, the anti-Gaelic brigade have enlisted the help of Third Reich apologists. I guess this must tie in with the Royal Wedding somewhere...

Marilyne Maclaren - "Speak English or die"

 Last week, the stooshie surrounding Edinburgh's Lib Dem education chief and anti-Gaelic bigot Marilyne 'Butterball' Maclaren prompted a flurry of... er one letter to the local organ of truth, the Edinburgh Evil News. This letter came from none other than Alistair MacConnachie or in the original and ironic Gaelic Alastair MacDhonnachaidh. He railed against the fact that Gaelic speakers were indeed bilingual and therefore should ALL use English whether they like it or not. To quote:

Rather, it is a deliberate political project intended to promote a particular concept of Scottishness.

This is done in order to revise our history as if to suggest that such Gaelic represents some kind of "authentic" Scottishness which has hitherto been "repressed" by the English speakers, and to make uncomfortable those Scots and other British who do not identify, or who are unsympathetic, with this element of our history.

In short, every time we see a bilingual sign it is a little bit of ethnic cleansing propaganda from the SNP administration telling us: "If you don't like this, then xxxx off to England."

We've been here before, several hundred years ago.

The Hasselhoff of UKIP

But who is this anti-Gael who bears a Gaelic name? You could maybe forgive his ignorance as it turns out that MacConnachie was born in Hong Kong. No Asian he though. This is the man who hit the headlines a few years ago as the Scottish organiser of UKIP who denied the holocaust. UKIP stood by their man though until MacConnachie left - after it seems that UKIP discovered his attempts to play the lead part in the Hong Kong version of Knight Rider - to set up a one-man show known as Sovereignty. He uses this to campaign under the pretence of being 'independently Green'. Despite this, postings to blogs reveal that he still harbours a hatred of the Jews and reckons that... well let's give this basket case the free-speech he wants:

Is sucking up to Jews a requirement to get into heaven these days? Strange...never used to be!

If you were Jewish, I would understand your attitude, but since I presume you are a "Christian", then I advise you to pray deeply and ask your Maker just whom Jesus would bomb.

The Scotsman and its sister rags regularly prints letters from this neo-Nazi bampot. Further proof of the Scotsman's decline since... since the days the Highlanders called it 'the Daily Liar' due to its support of the Clearances. Now, who said the enemy was English?

But, the weakened defences of the endangered English language are not only being besieged by Gaelic speakers demanding services in return for their tax money - imagine that?! - but by a cartoon mouse who speaks in Jamaican English. Rastamouse has raised the ire of English people who can't decide if this mouse who speaks like a bleckmin will sully their children's education or will upset the blecks themselves. Here's the BBC's response. Here's another message to rearrange: life/ a/ get.

More bad news though for the Invisible Knights of the British Empire in their struggle to defend the Queen's English against Celts and cartoon Rastafarian mice. Tocasaid can reveal that from next year the new presenters of Blue Peter will be... 

Buju Banton, Donaidh Dotaman and Katie Price.