Joe Strummer, Class War and Welsh language revival

Retro time. I recently had the good fortune to come across the welshnot site on which was a comprehensive interview with Welsh music man Rhys Mwyn.

Mwyn was one member of legendary Welsh-language punk band Anhrefn. Despite the English media not quite understanding why any band would want to use a language other than English as a medium, they enjoyed good coverage and were well respected. I saw them a few times in Edinburgh including at anti-Poll Tax fundraisers and supporting Joe Strummer and Oi Polloi on Class War's Rock Against the Rich date in Edinburgh.

After Anhrefn, Mwyn was involved in various projects involving well-kent names such as Super Furry Animals and Catatonia. This rise in confident Welsh-language rock music was subsequently labelled 'Cool Cymru'.

Myself and Ruairidh Polloi also managed to bring Mwyn's later techno project Land of My Mothers and rockers Gwacamoli to entertain students at Sabhal Mòr Ostaig on Skye. This opened the door for other 'alternative' acts to play at the Scottish language college including ska-punks the Newtown Grunts and Breton-language rockers Sarah.

Welsh language

We always sang in Welsh but it was never done to exclude anyone. And we didn’t think of ourselves as a Welsh language band – we were just a band who sang in Welsh.

It was something we would constantly get asked about in interviews but when it came to the music itself, I’m not sure how many knew, or cared, about the language.

Anhrefn was just loud, full-on music with guitars blasting; so nobody gave a shit about the language really. As long as they liked the noise.

Our record company, Workers Playtime, did once ask us to do a song in English and we told them politely to get stuffed – they gave up trying after that. I’m sure a lack of compromise did limit our success but we were never motivated by getting on Top of the Pops or any of that.

I particularly admire Anhrefn's politics. Are they anarchists, socialists or Welsh nationalists? Who knows and who cares? They took a pragmatic approach but involved themselves in various grass roots campaigns supporting anti-Poll Tax resistance, Welsh devolution and of course, the Welsh language. This is the kind of approach that some on the anarcho/left in Scotland could learn from - voting 'yes' in the forthcoming referendum is only a new beginning. It doesn't preclude the wider aims for whatever type of fair and progressive society you wish for in the future. Voting 'no' or not voting does nothing for no-one. Mwyn's views on Welsh politics, music and Scottish independence are detailed in the link below.

Celtic Connections indeed and here's hoping we can see more of them soon.

Rhys Mwyn: Go Ahead, Punk

Luftballons

Seems like victims/ scapegoats are much in demand. In Russia, it's gay people. In Spain, it's bulls, Basques and Catalans. In England, it's foreigners who wish to honour the place by migrating there. In Scotland, it's what we have left of our indigenous language.

The latest buffoon to lay into Scottish speakers in George Galloway. As buffoons go, this guy is one fucking balloon. A self-serving publicity junkie he has the same principle deficit as the Labour Party he was ejected from. Currently, he is the MP for Bradford West having generously volunteered his services to the Muslim community there. To say he represents them would be overstating it somewhat. He draws a wage.

He also attempted to get himself elected in Glasgow, not by going Muslim but by discovering his zeal for the rights of...er, Celtic fans.

Perhaps if Scotland's Gaels had a large urban community then we wouldn't see bullshit like this.

I suspect that the po-faced leftist cult that runs the Horte Strausberg youth centre in Germany would find common ground with Galloway. Since they decided to ban Oi Polloi on the grounds of them singing in Scottish Gaelic they have managed to cobble together some kind of response and explanation for their actions.

Their response is bewildering, not least the heinous charge that Oi Polloi support 'cultural diversity'!

Decision:
About 20 attendees debated for about an hour. In that process we realized that a part of us consider some of oi pollois culturepolitical demands as backwardly. And therefore do not whish an appearance of the band on our stage.

Why backwardly?

Oi polloi demands that oppressed nations or indigen collectives arise together against cultural imperialism. This way they want to defend diversity (my italics) in order to look collectively and folkish towards a better world. The primordial/ original should be rescued , the indigen languages saved. In our world only the guys and gals of the national party refer positive like this to folk and collective. We don´t want to participate on a europe of the fatherlands and on the europe of the capital neither (as a note for the black/white fraction)

The full response can be read here - in German and English. It isn't a surprise that many Germans in the comments section find it incredible that a band with a long history of anti-fascism and promotion/use of multi-lingualism is compared to a neo-Nazi political party! It is proof, as if it is needed, that the actions of a few self-important cranks who have too much time on their hands can spoil things for everyone.

George Galloway would surely admire their Orwellian take on internationalism and anti-fascism. 'Folk' who use and defend diversity are the real fascists! Hurrah!

See also:
WEEKLY WANKER #008: GEORGE GALLOWAY
Know Your Place – Gaelic and Elements of the Left

Report from the Galloway Roadshow in Edinburgh

RIC - Report from the Galloway Roadshow

Report from the Galloway Roadshow in Edinburgh

Report from the Galloway Roadshow in Edinburgh

Report from the Galloway Roadshow in Edinburgh

Gegen Gälisch: the new German purists

Incredible but true - punk band Oi Polloi have been banned from a 'culture centre' in Srausberg, part of the former DDR in Germany because.... they sing in Scottish!

To quote from the band:

 Those of you who saw our last post will already know that we were yesterday "banned" from playing our forthcoming gig at the Horte "Kulturzentrum" in Strausberg in eastern Germany for the incredible reason that we sometimes sing in Gaelic, one of the UK's minority Celtic languages. When we were initially informed of this we thought that it had to be some kind of joke. Sadly this was not the case. What we first heard from our friend who was dealing with the Horte was -" the conzert is caceled... The reason is that some guys in the venue don't know about your gallisch songs ... I know a stupid reason. I'm so sorry" . He then forwarded a text from one of the concert crew which said "beim plenum heute gab eine grössere debatte zwekk des gallischem wa sie singen.... die band leider nicht spielen kann..." or, in English, roughly, "At the meeting today there was a big debate with regards to them singing in Gaelic" and, when our friend asked what that meant, the reply was "that the band can't play". In the online discussion that followed our announcement about this some suggested that this surely couldn't be the real reason but today we were contacted directly by someone from the venue who is involved in organising concerts there and who stressed that he personally didn't agree with the decision but confirmed that the ban was a result of our singing in Gaelic. "With us was discussed about it and there were a few people in the house that simply could not understand why your . Sing songs in the language I personally tried to do everything .... but there was still bedencken of people in the house. The mind rested more on that you just do not understand why you use this language." Well, we use this language because we believe in respect for minority cultures and their linguistic human rights, we believe in diversity and multiculturalism and we stand in total opposition to discrimination against minorities. If you've got a problem with that then it's probably for the best that we don't play in your so-called "culture centre". Needless to say we're in the midst of trying to organise an alternative gig right now - many thanks to all those who have offered help with this. We reiterate that there can be no place for racism or discrimination against minorities in our scene. For diversity, multiculturalism, respect for minorities and a punk scene free of discrimination!

The plenum has spoken

The reasons behind the Horte Soziales Zentrum's aversion to a minority language from another nation are not immediately apparent. One reason maybe that they are racist. Incredibly, there are publicly funded 'youth' centres in Germany that do apparently cater for 'right-wing youth'. Another reason is that the po-faced automatons on the 'plenum/ committee' that polices the centre's events for linguistic purity may actually be far-left loonies. There is a so-called 'Anti-Deutsch' movement that has previously taken issue with Oi Polloi on account that they sing in different languages - principally Scottish and English but also in Finnish and German. It would appear that speaking Scottish Gaelic is 'too nationalist' and speaking German will 'make young Germans proud to be German'. Either they see a movement that forces an English language monoculture on everyone as liberating and in sync with their extreme anarchist/ communist agenda or they believe rock bands shouldn't sing at all.

Either way, the discontent at the plenum's ludicrous bit of discrimination has grown wings with Oi Polloi and others spreading news of it far and wide. Horte has an handy online contact form here.

Despite the po-faced derision of some who think that solidarity between 'minority' groups is Not Cool, I see it as entirely pertinent to ask, 'Would they cancel a concert by a foreign band who sang in...Basque/ Corsican/ Sorbish/ Sami or one of the plethora of Asian or African languages?'.

Whatever, if they really wish to combat 'nationalism' by expecting the diverse strands of human culture to conform to one Anglo-American linguistic worldview then they should expect to be reminded of the last guy who attempted such a 'solution'.

Nur eine Sprache? Geil!

Those tenuous Celtic Connections...

Sure, it brightens up a dreich Glaswegian January. Sure, it provides entertainment and employment to some. Sure, some of it is interesting. But, let's face it, a lot of it is shit. A lot of it is bland. In short, it's music to sit on your arse to.

There are always some jewels though - Shane MacGowan and the Popes, Vatersay Boys or this year's Mogwai offering. Too much of it though remains bland, uninspiring and commercial. Faded rock stars know they can add something acoustic to give their product a 'Celtic' veneer and provide a pay cheque. It's only a matter of time before Mumfart and Sons make an appearance.

Not only does Celtic Connections need to be more challenging and obnoxious but it needs to be more... Celtic.

Language is at the root of Celtic identity and unfortunately there seens to be too little of it at Glasgow's Royal Concert Hall. In the beginning, I can remember the likes of Anne Lorne Gillies giving Gaelic classes and Gaelic having some sort of profile in the official programme.

Like the morbid Royal National Mòd, Celtic Connections seems to be the nice but boring neighbour when compared to what the Bretons, Welsh or Basques do.

When organisers of the Turas Roc nan Cànan Ceilteach back in 2008 wrote to Donald Shaw - CC chief and member of supermarket-muzak band Capercaillie - they received no reply. This despite three genuine Celtic rock bands being available - Na Gathan and Oi Polloi singing in Scottish and Les Ramoneurs de Menhirs singing in their native Breton. The tour went ahead and was covered by BBC Alba on their notable Rapal programme that can still be found here.

So, here are some vids to remind the publicly funded of Celtic Connections that grassroots Celtic music that you can actually move your arse to still exists. At the very least, here's hoping they can bring the mighty Les Ramoneurs across again. Unfortunately, the late and great Yr Anhrefn from Wales are no longer with us...

Gaelic space punks v. Tradfest

What was once the Edinburgh Folk Festival has now become 'Tradfest' after a brief stint as 'Ceilidh Culture'. There's probably a fair bit of it that is worth seeing - Gaelic songs and poems from Perthshire don't often get an airing for example. However, far too much of 'trad' music seems to involve... people sitting down to 'enjoy' the often furious dance music of the past and/ or a misty eyed regurgitation of a long-gone culture. The point being that's it's ok to remember the past and learn about our 'tradtional' music as long as the current generation is creating something of its own for the future.

Sometimes, 'Celtic' fests can accommodate alternative music such as Les Ramoneurs who regularly play the Lorient festival in Brittany. There is a a feeling that in Alba such music is looked down upon by those for whom traditional is a profession.

This is probably why we won't see the likes of Basque-language punk-ska band, Hesian, in Dùn Eideann at Tradfest....


Though our nearest equivalent, Oi Polloi, is playing 3 gigs in 24 hours. Most importantly, two of these are in conjunction with the launch of a Gaelic sci-fi novel by Tim Armstrong. Tim once played in trad ground breaking indie-rock band Na Gathan, dabbled in some Gaelic electro-pop and fronted the superb Mill a h-Uile Rud who took their Seattle-based Gaelic punk around Europe with Oi Polloi with a BBC Alba film crew in tow.

One of the gigs is in a Leith Walk record shop and the other is on a boat. Dìreach far out a dhuine... Get your tòn along to one or both of them.

Bollocks to the Stones - the alternatives...

Tired of the meeja coverage of Mick Jagger shaking his wrinkles with his fellow lovers of under-age lovers? As someone who was old enough to know what it was all about at the time, I still wonder why Bill Wyman didn't get the Gary Glitter treatment after he managed to get a lumber with Mandy Smith at the tender age of 14.

Hesian, London 2012

Never mind, I just wish I'd be able to have been present at the Basque Solidarity Sound System gig in Brixton last weekend. Raising money for and awareness of the blight of Basque prisoners in Spain, London and Edinburgh was the aim of the event. I can only hope that the likes of Hesian, Itziarren Semeak and Siroka make it up Scotland sometime soon.

Union Jack? Thall is Cac.

In the meantime, the once legendary - in some circles anyway - Antisect take the stage at Edinburgh Bannermans this Saturday. These noisy and political anarcho-punks from way back apparently influenced the likes of Neurosis and Godflesh. Expect some unremitting heavy music and harsh harsh vocals that will make Tom Waits sound like Jagger. Support comes from Dùn Eideann's premier purveyor's of Gaelic punk-rock, Oi Polloi.

On the downside, we hear that Liet International has convened a mysterious 'committee' that has 'chosen' a predictably dismal and not so 'ùr-nosach' piece of music to represent Alba in the minority language version of Eurovision. In the past, the great unwashed got the chance to vote for the likes of Welsh ska-indie music or Gaelic indie music to compete with Basque language rock music or Latvian death metal. This time, the plebes didn't get a vote and Gaelic Scotland is taking one step forward and two back in terms of 'new' music. Hey-ho, let's not go...

Scottish punk rock: Dùisg!

Compared to the Basque Country or even our Celtic cousins in Cymru, Scotland has a paucity of bands composing new material in her own language. Fortunately though, one of them is a well kent face on the international stage.

Dùisg is the second LP by Oi Polloi to be recorded entirely in Scottish/ Gàidhlig though the language has featured in various other recordings over the years, including a session for the BBC Alba program Rapal. The last one Ar Cànan, Ar Ceòl, Ar-a-mach broke some new ground for Polloi's mix of Sham 69/ Cockney Rejects type Oi! and Discharge-esque thrash. Added to that was some crunchy Killing Joke, bagpipes and traditional Gaelic song.

Dùisg continues in more or less the same vein but with the addition of keyboards here and there. It's probably their best yet - lots of catchy tunes, though some of them are delivered at a pretty hectic pace. Some great guitar hooks as well as some dark and brooding grinding hardcore. The Gaelic vocals as per usual are more the bastard son of Tom Waits and Pinhead from Hellraiser than Karen Matheson or Mànran.

Lyrics deal with some of the usual topics but also break new ground. Since when did you hear of a song promoting the use of LINUX? And, in Gaelic punk rock? Other issues dealt with in the Scottish tongue are police brutality (Dìon is Cuidich), increased state surveillance (Ar Dìleab) and the futility of capitalism (Dòigh Eile).

On top of that there's an essay on why Oi Polloi sing in Gaelic, a short story in Gaelic and an interview on alternative operating systems for computers. If you're lucky enough to purchase the album at a gig, you'll get a vinyl LP with A4 booklet, CD and patch all wrapped up in a reusable Oi Polloi shopping bag. Otherwise, contact them for a CD copy.

Gaelic shopping with Oi Polloi

Is this another step forward for indigenous Scottish music? Possibly but at best we're treading water in terms of producing new and challenging contemporary music in Gaelic. We're miles behind the Basque Country. Let's hope that those agencies charged with developing Gaelic put more money into exciting cultural initiatives for young people instead of wasting it on ill-thought out projects like MyGaelic. How about song writing classes in rock music for teenage Gaelic medium kids instead of just learning auld tunes for the fiddle?

The only slight complaint that I'd have here is that English translations are included. We need more situations where English monoglots are forced to learn at least some Gaelic and where Gaels are not compelled to translate everything they say, sing or write into Her Majesty's tongue.

A worthy purchase.

Suas le iomadachd agus meal is caith e.

Buy CD here.

Oi Polloi

Skins, bagpipes and thrash - Oi Polloi at 30

Some may argue that any punk band that has been together for 30 years isn't a punk band. Some like the UK Subs and GBH never went away. Others like the Pistols, Damned, Subhumans, Skids and even bizarrely Anti-Pasti have at some point reformed. However, I guess that if your music has 'ranged' from basic Oi! to tuneful Sham 69 type punk via the likes of hardcore metal and grunge with some fiddle and bagpipes thrown in then the band has always 'reinvented' itself. A bit like Madonna.

This is not achieved without a turnover in members. Polloi's members have included punks from the schemes as well as ex-pupils of private schools. Not surprisingly, political activists have been there in some number. Most notably were activists for the likes of Anti-Fascist Action and the Hunt Saboteurs. One was even outed as a BNP member which ended up being more painful for him than embarrassing for the band. Lyrics have been equally varied. Some of the early simple ones are still the best in terms of effect and audience reaction - the likes of Apostles cover Pigs for Slaughter, Americans Out/ Hands off Nicaragua and Let the Boots do the Talking. Even the later switch to singing in the medium of Gaelic hasn't deterred the punks from singing along to Carson? or Union Jack - Thall is Cac! Indeed, the funky Killing Joke-esque anthem for the Naked Rambler, Ramalair Ruisgte is so catchy that even Tocasaid's non-punk better half has shaken her tòn to it. Some songs like Meine Augen, THC and Sex with Strangers too much like Crucial Youth for my liking though.

The lyrics generally haven't shied away from their political stance. I remember seeing one - amusing - confrontation in a Dublin nightclub when some local non-fascist but very Roman Catholic skinheads objected to When Two Men Kiss. The pro-land rights song Take Back the Land is an excellent and angry piece of satire. Willie MacRae also goes where a lot of anarchists don't. Even the decision to record only in Gaelic a few years ago is a bold statement and embodies the spirit of the political philosopher who said that learning a minority language itself was a revolutionary act. Polloi have shown that indigenous struggles are just as important at home as in Mexico or Nicaragua.

Learning languages has also bizarrely got Oi Polloi in trouble. In Germany, a rather strange anarchist subsect known as 'Anti-Deutsch' sees speaking German as 'making people proud of Germany' and therefore anti-semitic. In their eyes. As Polloi's singer Ruairidh is a fluent German speaker this has prompted threats from this small but irritating subsect of anarchist moonies. Singing in Gaelic was also not cool. However coming from 'punks' who voiced support for George W Bush in his 'war' against 'anti-semitism', I wouldn't worry too much about that.

Back in Alba a few years ago, similarly dour anarchist types - with accents that made Prince William seem like a prole - forced a film-crew from BBC Alba to flee the punk festival on Cramond Island. As the posh dirty ones explained between swigs of Sainsbury's cider, co-operating with the evil BBC, even in Gaelic, was a counter-revolutionary act. Oi Polloi were, simply... and I quote here, "the voice of the British state". The irony of an English anarchist berating a young Highlander, enthusiastic for new challenging Gaelic music, coming to film an anarchist punk rock band when only 3 decades previously Highlanders were punished by the 'British State' for speaking the same tongue was lost on these 'liberators'.

The tales are many and give credence to the statement that life is stranger than fiction. Some can be found in this interview on Viceland.

I look forward to the book. But until then, its time to get out the DMs and Sandanista Tshirts and get along to Bannermans for the anarchoi than never went away.

Oi Polloi on BBC Alba's Rapal program.

Singalong anti-nuclear

Even if you can't read Scottish, you know what it means. Our complacency broken, its time to roll out the anti-nuclear power campaigns again.

Once in generation it seems as if we have a major nuclear accident. One too many. And even if these major accidents are few and far between - low level radioactive leakage seems to be regular and the cost to the taxpayer of subsidising nuclear power is enormous. Then there's the question of what to do with the waste. I remember Jeremy Paxman on Newsnight with his trademark incredulous frown asking the then chair of British Nuclear Fuels if he was 'seriously proposing that we bequeath to our grandchildren tonnes of radioactive junk'.

Generations are often marked by their tunes. So, where are all the anti-nuclear power tunes? Nuke war has got a few. But atomic energy? Well, perhaps my 5 minutes of half-hearted research wasn't thorough enough but I managed to dig up a few examples - all from the 80s it seems. And all from the 'anarcho-punk' genre. The anarchist strand of punk music didn't quite change the world but its impact was to be seen in movements such as CND - given the kiss of life by Crass - and the animal rights movement. Unfortunately for some, it was also the mother of all chastity belts. The Pope would've been proud. No condoms needed as adolescents were consumed by marching for CND and against vivisection, reading veggie cookbooks, squatting and latterly by getting filthy and growing dreadlocks. Though this was mostly by those who later graduated to a job in banking. Sex was viewed with frustrated suspicion - maybe it was 'sexist' to chat someone up? 

Anyway, Edinburgh's anarchos Oi Polloi seemed to shout most about nuclear power. Songs like Resist the Atomic Menace, No Filthy Nuclear Power and Go Green provided a soundtrack for protest trips to Torness to rage against nuclear power stations that Labour gave us before they opposed them before they advocated them again.

  

Loanhead based noise-merchants AOA also got in on the act with their split LP with Oi Polloi. AOA also came from an area where the miners' strike was at the heart of the community. Today it may seem as if environmental activists and 'spokespersons' all speak with the same kind of Oxbridge accent. AOA weren't of that ilk.

Flux of Pink Indians emerged out of the Crass-inspired wave of punk. They were responsible for memorable anthems such as Tube Disaster but also for the weird and pretentious, though superbly titled, 'The Fucking Cunts Treat Us Like Pricks'. Flux later produced the Buddhist-inspired 'Uncarved Block' on their own Little Indian label which also gave us the likes of Bjork and the Shamen. Here though is their own anti-atomic anthem.

Lastly is Discharge. Again, very influential - certainly on thrash metal bands such as Metallica and Sepultura. Lyrically, they are best described as 'uncomplicated' and 'straight to the point' though 'repetitive' may also be apt. They definitely had a bee in their bonnet regarding things nuclear though to be honest, war was by far their biggest bugbear. 'The Possibility of Life's Destruction' is open to interpretation though. Here are the lyrics. All of them.

Can you hear the sound of an enormous door slamming in the depths of hell
The possibility of life's destruction
Can you hear the cries of pain the mournful sound

At present, Scotland's SNP minority administration government is committed to making Scotland nuclear free. Should the election in May see the uninspiring former radical Iain Gray become first minister as head of a Labour-lead government, then Scotland could once again become a nuclear dustbin.

Time to hit the streets.

Scots tonguing for St Andrew’s Day

What could be a more fitting way to celebrate Alba but choosing a few nuggets from our vast linguistic wealth – both celebrated and despised? This is a subject that deserves more scrutiny as it seems as if Scots are as confused and generally backward about language as they are about religion. Even the terms used for the languages are confusing.

The original ‘Scots’ was of course Gàidhlig, being the Celtic tongue of the Scotti who settled Argyll almost two thousand years ago. Gaelic was referred to as ‘Scottice’ by monks writing in Latin until around the 1500s. And then, Anglo-Saxon divide and rule really kicked in. Perhaps one of the first major pieces of strategic genius by the Sasannaich or Anglo-minded Scots against Scotland’s nationhood was to rename their language, Inglis, as… Scots! Almost overnight, the original language of the Scots became foreign – Erse, Gaylick, Celtic, Heeland, Heedrum-ho-drum etc despite having left its influence in virtually every corner of our land and having never been solely confined to the Highlands – for example our earliest extant written Gaelic is from Aberdeenshire and remnants of poetry in the Gallowegian Gaelic still exist.

The Beannachd de Righ Alban being read to King Alexander by the Ollamh Righ Alban.

Hence, I tend to make reference to Scots Gaelic and Scots English. This is partly due to historical pedantry on my part and partly due to the fact that it’s difficult to tell where ‘Scottish English’ and Scots/ Inglis/ Lallans separate. This fact being acknowledged even by J. Derrick McClure in his book ‘Why Scots Matters?’

Despite that, both these tongues contain a wealth of wit and humour and provide a key to unlocking both past and present culture. There is absolutely no criteria for choosing these words and phrases other than that I find them amusing or interesting. I’m also willing to read other such nuggets in the comments section below.

Scots Gaelic:

Cuir do chorrag nad thòin is leig fead – put your finger in your arse and (make a) whistle. A phrase that Celtic fans should aim at their chairman, John Reid, though to be honest, Reid’s recent pronouncements on morality are as profound and honest as this anyway.

‘S fheàrr sgur na sgàineadh, ach ‘s fheàrr sgàineadh na deagh bhiadh fhàgail – It’s better to stop than to burst, but its better to burst than to leave good food.

Na gèill is tu beò – Do not yield while you still draw breath. Have seen this both on a poster in Acha Mòr, Leòdhas as well as on the wall of an Anarchist Centre in Edinburgh.

brochan – can mean ‘a mess’ or porridge. A woodland at Killiekrankie is called Coille a’ Bhrochain as Robert the Bruce is reputed to have stopped by there to eat porridge from a shoe.

Mac na Bracha – ‘son of the malt’ and a reference to single-malt uisge-beatha. Hence the name of the blog on the subject.

Baile nan Trodach – the original Gaelic name for the village of Temple in Midlothian. The ‘Township of the Warriors’ referring to the Knights Templar who once made it their base.

thall’ is cac – away and shite. Oft used in conjunction with the Butcher’s Apron as in Oi Polloi’s angry Gaelic rant of ‘Union Jack – Thall is Cac’. A song of the same title was performed by a Leodhasach punk band of the 80s.

Union Jack...

Scots English:

dreich – onomatopoeic or whit?

The guy’s erse wis knittin socks – the man was somewhat frightened.

glaikit – not to be used about John Reid, he’s got a PhD he has.

bawbag – the thin bag of skin in which a man’s clachan are held. Is Scots English the world leader in terms of base abuse? I’m sure Spanish could give it a run for its money. Any linguistic evidence of this or otherwise is welcomed.

jakie – ‘Lord Foulkes’ though to be honest, we’ve aw got one in the family. Part of the ‘Union dividend’ – even dark and formerly depressive Finland has got to grips with its booze culture. They don’t have the Old Firm though…

These lists are by no means exhaustive and a dram or two of a smoky Bunnahabhainn is sure to trigger a flood of others. To be continued no doubt.

...everybody who voted Tory

Edinburgh's Oi Polloi did this a few years ago. But maybe we need to go back to the future. Especially if the treacherous Lib Dems get into bed with Cameron's Old Etonians. Proof though, that Scotland can vote for what it wants and still get an English Tory government imposed on it.

Pity the Lib Dems and Labour haven't embraced independence. Yet.

Good Edinburgh Whisky Pubs #5 - The Auld Hoose

So, Gordon Brown has requested that the Queen of Saxe-Coburg dissolves the Westiminster parliament and centre of debauchery. Unfortunately the dissolution will not be in a huge tocasaid of acid prepared by the likes of ex-stand up comedian and political agitator, Ian Bone. Nevertheless, as Scotland hopefully takes the next step to ridding itself of the expensive, corrupt and unnecessary layer of government that is Westminster, one could always don a 'I still hate Thatcher' t-shirt' and head to the Auld Hoose in Edinburgh's St Leonard's for a cheap dram.

The Auld Hoose, like Bannermans doon the road, is another malt whisky supplier far removed from the masonic end of the business. It is in fact an 'alternative' boozer. This apparently refers to the jukebox which house sounds such as the Dead Kennedys, Slayer, Pantera, Killing Joke and even the defunct Glenrothes' punk/ska stalwarts the Newtown Grunts. Similarly, if you know what you're looking for, you can spot members of local 'alternative' acts such as the Happy Spastics, Gin Goblins, Oi Polloi or less alternative retirement-rock acts like Norman Silver and the Gold.

Therefore, you can savour a superb Laphroaig 18yo at less than £4 whilst listening to Sick of it All or the more tuneful Dinosaur Jr if you're fortunate. Also on show at reasonable prices are the likes of World Whisky of the Year 2009, Ardbeg Uigeadail at 54% as well as Caol Ila 12yo and 18yo, Laphroaig 10yo, Lagavulin, Springbank 10yo, Glenkinchie, Benromach 21yo and Cragganmore. Many ales and ciders are on offer too including nanny-state baiters BrewDog.

Food is of the usual bar variety but pretty good. One of the best veggie breakfasts in town can be had here. So, get an Uigedail, a bucket of nachos and sit down to read the latest lies in the Hootsmon.

The Auld Hoose, 23.25 St. Leonards St, Edinburgh.

Keepers of the Cumhachd - an apology

Tocasaid is pleased to offer an apology to the Keepers of the Quaich who had been previously slandered and much maligned in these very pages - see below. We are only too happy to point out that the KotQ are a modern, inclusive and progressive organisation who do not discriminate on grounds of income or class.

As proof, we have kindly agreed to reproduce the above photo in which we see the KotQ's 'Dark Chapter' perusing their tasting notes for Lidl's 'Queen Margot' ("Bit rough but otherwise, f****n barry"), Sainsbury's Islay Malt ("mare smoke than a Glaswegian schoolkid's breath, a snip at £16.99") and finally ye olde fave Hundred Pipers ("man, this kills yer liver but aye, does ye the world of good").

Viscount 'Thirsty' Thurso also expressed his support for Gaelic as an everyday living language. He explained that 'quaich' itself is from the Gaelic 'cuach' and that his current most-played MP3 is 'Ramalair Ruisgte' , a Gaelic tribute to the Naked Rambler, by Edinburgh's Gaelic speaking streetpunks Oi Polloi. "And ye dinny argue wi them boys." he added with faux-menace, shaking his substantial pube-like beard for comic effect.

Oi Polloi - 'SS Politician'

Comhlan cliùiteach punc, Oi Polloi, à Dùn Eideann a' comharrachadh na h-eileanaich a shaoraich na b'urrainn dhaibh de dh'uisge-bheatha bhon long an 'SS Politician' a chaidh air creagan faisg air eilean Eirisgeidh. Nach iomachaidh gu bheil taigh-stàile ùr air chois ann am Barraigh nach eil fada bhon làrach ainmeil seo. Thathar an dùil ri 'Uisge-beatha nan Eilean' an ceann bliadhna no dhà.

Renowned Gaelic punk band, Oi Polloi, from Edinburgh commemorating the islanders who 'liberated' what whisky they could from the SS Politician that ran aground on rocks near Eriskay. The local pub today in Eriskay is called 'Am Politician'. In nearby Barra, where the film of the incident was made from Compton Mackenzie's novel 'Whisky Galore', a new distillery is operating which will see 'Uisge-beatha nan Eilean' on the market in the 2 or 3 years.