Good Edinburgh Whisky Pubs #5 - The Auld Hoose

So, Gordon Brown has requested that the Queen of Saxe-Coburg dissolves the Westiminster parliament and centre of debauchery. Unfortunately the dissolution will not be in a huge tocasaid of acid prepared by the likes of ex-stand up comedian and political agitator, Ian Bone. Nevertheless, as Scotland hopefully takes the next step to ridding itself of the expensive, corrupt and unnecessary layer of government that is Westminster, one could always don a 'I still hate Thatcher' t-shirt' and head to the Auld Hoose in Edinburgh's St Leonard's for a cheap dram.

The Auld Hoose, like Bannermans doon the road, is another malt whisky supplier far removed from the masonic end of the business. It is in fact an 'alternative' boozer. This apparently refers to the jukebox which house sounds such as the Dead Kennedys, Slayer, Pantera, Killing Joke and even the defunct Glenrothes' punk/ska stalwarts the Newtown Grunts. Similarly, if you know what you're looking for, you can spot members of local 'alternative' acts such as the Happy Spastics, Gin Goblins, Oi Polloi or less alternative retirement-rock acts like Norman Silver and the Gold.

Therefore, you can savour a superb Laphroaig 18yo at less than £4 whilst listening to Sick of it All or the more tuneful Dinosaur Jr if you're fortunate. Also on show at reasonable prices are the likes of World Whisky of the Year 2009, Ardbeg Uigeadail at 54% as well as Caol Ila 12yo and 18yo, Laphroaig 10yo, Lagavulin, Springbank 10yo, Glenkinchie, Benromach 21yo and Cragganmore. Many ales and ciders are on offer too including nanny-state baiters BrewDog.

Food is of the usual bar variety but pretty good. One of the best veggie breakfasts in town can be had here. So, get an Uigedail, a bucket of nachos and sit down to read the latest lies in the Hootsmon.

The Auld Hoose, 23.25 St. Leonards St, Edinburgh.

Some cask strength therapy for Backward Britain

Some seasonal temperatures and the Land of Dope and Toley grinds to a halt. Aided and abetted by a public transport system that's been carved up and privatised to various degrees by the ugly sisters of Labour and Tory. Our rail system is unreliable at the best of times but when the weather goes traditional, it goes wrong. Why is it that European nations such as Finland and Germany who have a greater range of temperatures than we do (very low in the winter and high in the summer) can manage, but the likes of First Scotrail and Network Rail can't deal with anything outwith a range from zero to 25 degrees Celsius?

If Dumb Britain's corrupt Westminster parliament cannot re-nationalise our railways then it should be a priority for Holyrood. And it takes an independent Scotland to introduce some common sense to public services, then so be it.

As Brooker says, "Fuck Britain".

If you feel like turning to drink in order to combat the twin evils of extreme cold and backward Britishness, then you could do worse than try:
Caol Ila SWMS 53.131 'Turbuso Humo', 9yo, 67.9%
Inchgower Cadenhead's 2001 bottling, 11yo, 61%
Edradour Natural Cask Strength, Cask #468, 13yo, 57.4%

Diageo's choice - profit before people

Yes, it's the nature of the beast. Nàdar na beiste rather than Airigh nam Beist. Diageo have just posted £2billion in profits. Sounds good except is was down slightly. The fact that they have made some $2 less than they did last year means that they have to 'rationalise'. And, what could be more rational than a whole raft of job losses?

I'm not a Diageo doomsayer. The nature of the beast is that we live in a more-or-less capitalist society with some socialist reins to make sure the beast doesn't eat everything. Diageo keeps open many small distilleries. But can it ever be justified to sacrifice hundreds of jobs and history in one fell swoop? Let's have the community buyouts.

Yet while Diageo is 'streamlining' in Kilmarnock, it is also unveiling a new Manager's Choice range of single-cask bottlings from it's range of distilleries. 'Good news' thought many when it was announced. Tasting some cask-strength drams straight from the tocasaid from the likes of Lagavulin, Inchgower and even Glenkinchie got many a mooth slavering. Then came the price tag. Between £200 and £300 per bottle!!! An ann às an rian a th'ad?! The Keepers of the Quaich, above, may be pleased but many of us plebes won't get a sniff at it. I can't see the Diageo stall at next year's Whisky Fringe handing out free drams of the Mason's Choice.


Fortunately, we also have 'Our Ane Choice'. So, it's down to places like the Scotch Malt Whisky Society vaults where a huge range of single-cask whiskies can be tasted before bought. The SMWS Vaults aint exactly a proletarian drinking-den along the lines of the Bothan Eoropaidh in Lewis but if you like serious whisky, it's the place to go. Therefore, i picked up one of their new Caol Ila bottlings (cask 53.131 'Turbuso Humo', 9yo, 67.9%) at a mere £38. Diageo will apparently release their Caol Ila manager's choice in March 2010 at a hefty £300. You do the sums.