The Gove Bible, Hitchens, Winterval and Sectarianism

It's the great dark winter of austerity but Michael Gove, the testicular-faced education Caesar south of the border has found enough pennies in his sporan to send a new copy of the King James' Bible to every school in Engerland. Not only that, but this new edition will be prefaced by the Book of Gove.

Let us worship, with Gove.

Will the hitherto undiscovered Book of Gove be Old or New Testament in its leaning? Will kids be introduced to the vengeful, jealous and totally psychotic tyrant of the OT - the one who sends firestorms to engulf His creation and who has a bee in his bonnet about foreskins? Or will kids be given a hypocritical taste of the nice god - via his son, who is also er... himself... - who wants us to turn the other cheek except when marching into oil-rich nations to free their fossil-fuels for our use? Or will it be a kind of religious 'nice cop, nasty cop'?

There are some parallels to be drawn between the bipolar god of the bible and some Western politicians. In the bible, god creates people, draws up the parameters of their existence, insists they give him 'praise' for him choosing to create them and then melts them in fire if they don't toe his line. Equally, we have seen a number of tyrants 'created' by US and UK powers for decades now, usually for our short-term economic gain. However, like earthly sinners, they too face firestorms when they stop tugging their forelocks in the White House's direction.

Will this mass of contradictions be explained to England's schoolkids? I fear it may be left to a few 'rogue' teachers to balance things with the works of AC Grayling, Dawkins and the late Christopher Hitchens. Hitchens has many a tome which could easily be distilled and offered for consideration by young minds. Especially at this time of year when the sheer amount of bullshit forced upon kids in the name of 'Christmas' is staggering. Lets hope some of the content of Hitchens' The Portable Atheist or God is not Great is provided a.s.a.p.

Here's some of Hitchens' finest quotes on the subject:

“[Mother Teresa] was not a friend of the poor. She was a friend of poverty. She said that suffering was a gift from God. She spent her life opposing the only known cure for poverty, which is the empowerment of women and the emancipation of them from a livestock version of compulsory reproduction.”

 “The Bible may, indeed does, contain a warrant for trafficking in humans, for ethnic cleansing, for slavery, for bride-price, and for indiscriminate massacre, but we are not bound by any of it because it was put together by crude, uncultured human mammals.”

“To terrify children with the image of hell, to consider women an inferior creation—is that good for the world?”

 “Organised religion is violent, irrational, intolerant, allied to racism, tribalism, and bigotry, invested in ignorance and hostile to free inquiry, contemptuous of women and coercive toward children.”

“Everything about Christianity is contained in the pathetic image of 'the flock.”

“Who are your favorite heroines in real life? The women of Afghanistan, Iraq, and Iran who risk their lives and their beauty to defy the foulness of theocracy. Ayaan Hirsi Ali and Azar Nafisi as their ideal feminine model.”

I may use the term 'Winterval' to take the piss. There are those who are furious that anyone uses it. Instead, we are meant to accept our kids being brainwashed by fantasy and nonsense that isn't even in the Bible. The 'Good Book' is ludicrous enough with its mass of contradictions, hate and general mania. Even this book, on which our religious are based, does not make any mention of Christ's birthdate. Neither are there any wise men nor a star to follow. As Dawkins said of Catholicism, 'these guys are shamelessly making it up as they go along'.

The Wee Frees - Scotland's Real Proddies Continuing - are right in at least one thing. Christmas is simply an auld pagan festival that's been remixed over the centuries by the Pope and his closest men.

This leads me onto to Scotland's form of sectarianism which is actually pretty mild compared to the crazy form they practise in Iraq or Israel. To be precise, I wonder how the Orange Order and thousands of Glasgow Rangers' fans can continue to partake in such pagan and Popish idolatry? The Scotland of my maw's day all worked at Xmas. A friend of mine whose Irish mother grew up in a West Lothian town some 60 years ago tells me that hers was the only house with a Xmas tree in it.

This then is the peculiar thing about Scotland's sectarianism. On one hand you have thousands of... braindoners to be frank who hate Catholicism but who break the Sabbath by playing/ watching football, partake in Catholic/ pagan festivals and who don't really go to church anymore. Yet they still think they are 'oppressed' by the Pope.

On the other side, you have thousands of deluded Celtic fans who were born in Scotland often to Scots born parents, who speak Scottish and are culturally Scottish but who claim to be 'Irish'. I've met these 'second generation' Glaswegian Irish in the Gweedore Gaeltachd and they stick out like sare thumbs. You can meet the young lads speaking Irish and carrying hurley sticks or going to a session in a local teach before encountering swaggering loud Glaswegians with Celtic tops and gold chains. Now, who are the real Irish?

Some questions regarding sectarianism in Scotland

Perhaps not unsurprisingly, the new figures showing an increase in sectarian or 'hate crimes' does little or nothing to give us a clear picture of what's going on. Also unsurprising is the Roman Catholic Church in Scotland leaping on the figures in order to play up their victim-status. The RCC may be a minority of sorts in Scotland and the UK but in other countries it is very much the right-of-centre conservative institution that most of us here believe it to be. The RCC uses its influence to spread its own kind of hate - usually against homosexuals, women or those who deviate from the Pope's world-view such as those who use contraceptives. On this last point, it should be remembered that the number of people who have contracted the HIV virus due to not using condoms is probably in the millions.

First question is, 'Who really gets offended by so-called sectarian abuse?'

Like many Scots, I have a fair bit of Irish blood in my family tree on both sides and of both 'sects'. Despite a standard Scots Presbyterian upbringing in a non-denominational state school as well as occasional attendance at the local Presbyterian smiling school, I don't think of myself as a 'Proddie'. Indeed, I'm an atheist. Further to that, as I also have an interest in Celtic-based politics and Gaelic language, wish to see a united Ireland and independent Scotland, I guess I could also be called a 'Fenian'. So, if I were to be insulted by someone, would I be a dour Presbyterian, Fenian barsteward or a dangerous godless atheist?

In the figures, it seems as if almost half of the offences were committed against police officers. Now, the obvious question to that is, 'How the fck does one tell a Proddie from a Catholic police officer?' Perhaps, officers are obliged to introduce themselves first. So, if the polisman says 'Hi, my name is Seumas MacNeill', how am i to know if the man is a MacNeill from Catholic Barra or a Church of Scotland one from Colonsay? If he says, 'I am PC Maginnis', should I ask if he's an Ulster Unionist Maginnis or a Sinn-Fein one?

A further 10% were hospital staff, bouncers and taxi drivers. As with the cops, how is one meant to determine to which branch of Christianity your nurse or taxi driver adheres?

I'd also be interested in knowing how many of these victims were actually religious in the sense of attending church regularly, praying at night and not masturbating?

We are also told that 'only' one-third of charges were made at football grounds. But, I'd be interested in finding out, if possible, how many of those arrested, anywhere, were followers of one of the Old Firm clubs.

The Lord is our fkn shepherd, we shall not want.

Nil by Mouth also spoke of the need for 'nationwide' action as all but five of Scotland's local authorities had persons with convictions. Again, I wonder what percentage of convictions occurred in the authorities closest to Glasgow and its twin hornets nests of Ibrox and Celtic Park. And, as above, how many of those arrested in any authority were Old Firm fans?

I also notice that the Western Isles were among the authorities that were 'clean' regarding religious hatred. This too is strange. Not because of the ordinary locals who in some places like Benbecula go to different churches but send their kids to the same non-denom school but because of the words of those in the pulpits. I'm sure that a leisurely Google search will soon throw up statements from the various Presbyterian sects regarding the Pope being the Antichrist or else about 'heathen' Muslims threatening our way of life. Surely this is religious sectarianism in its purest form? 

Why should the Wee Frees - who know their mumbo jumbo inside out - get off while thick fitba fans who have never darkened the interior of a church are convicted of 'religious' hate offences?

If we are to move forward, we should treat tribal football-based hate crime for what it is. Equally though we should seek to remove real religion from public life as far as possible. This means no 'faith' schools run on public money - be they Catholic or Muslim. This also means an end to 'religious observance' in non-denominational schools.

All in all, this sorry saga is proof of Scotland's present backward status in some parts of our society. We can't blame it all on the Union and it isn't all doom and gloom but if ever there was a time to strive to emulate the civilised, prosperous and egalitarian nature of Norway -gun-toting conservatives excluded - then this is it. Not to mention the more marginalised nature of religion in our neighbour to the north.

Fuck religion. All of it.

Celtic's midfield and the Scottish Defence League?

In the underwhelming aftermath of last week's EDL/SDL 'static' demo in Edinburgh, I found myself doing a spot of online research into those guardian angels who have taken it upon themselves to defend me - a Gaelic speaking atheist - from the 'Muslamic' hordes who apparently are massing somewhere between Berwick and Jedburgh. Anyway, during my rumaging through various forums and Facebook pages, I come across a certain Celtic FC midfielder, Scott Brown. 

In case you didn't know, around 100 football hooligans claiming to represent the Scottish and English Defence Leagues as well as 'Casuals United' chose to congregate in the centre of Edinburgh against the wishes of the democratically elected local council. This lead to a huge police operation (and tax bill) and a headache for ordinary citizens wishing to go about their business on a Saturday afternoon.

Just why do they feel threatened by Muslims? Are they gonna try and erase our Scottish culture and identity? Will they beat our Scottish language out of our kids? Wait a minute... haven't Anglicised Protestant Scots already done that? And, don't we already have various versions of Abrahamic mania - like the Wee Frees and Catholic Church - who seek to force their violent religion on us?

Whatever, it was kind of interesting to see a current member of Celtic FC rub shoulders with the violent right-wing and sectarian/ racist (no-one really knows which yet) SDL.Celtic FC are of course, the 'nice' half of the Old Firm - a progressive force for liberté et égalité whose current chairman is former Commander of the British Army in Iraq, John Reid. Nuff said there.

The interesting bit is that Scott Brown is wearing Celtic colours and is obviously representing the club. The SDL guys appear to be representing their own organisation, something that Brown doesn't seem too concerned about. According to other comments on the Facebook page, fellow Celtic player Anthony Stokes apparently chose to stay in the vehicle. Proof maybe that Scott Brown is not the sharpest tool in the box?

Then again, if Scott Brown is displaying his lack of critical faculties, he's in good company. Even the SDL aren't too sure of who they are if picture below is anything to go by. This tattoo was proudly displayed by one SDL member on said Facebook page. This comes after the well circulated 'Muslamic rape gangs/ ray guns' video on You Tube. Maybe we should welcome more Muslims to Scotland as maybe they could teach the SDL and EDL a bit about the grammar of their own English tongue?

Join the SDL: high IQ not required

This leads me back to the question of just who and what the EDL and SDL are? Racist? Fascist? Sectarian? The vast majority of them seem to be involved in football violence - organised violent crime in other words. The 'EDL' seems to be just another excuse for a scrap. After all, why would ordinary Scots want a gang of criminals who can barely master the English language as self-nominated defenders? And why do they have a bee in their bonnet about Muslims? Having said that, it was interesting to read a complaint from a Rangers' fan who complained that he was attending a wedding with his South American girlfriend on the Royal Mile when she was racially abused. Other SDLers have been photographed throwing the Nazi salute while some of them profess support for Israel. They truly are a weird bunch. Maybe their biggest beef is with ordinary people who are lucky enough to have 5 fingers on each hand?

But, if they really want to 'defend' Scotland then... why don't they 'defend' small Scottish businesses on the 'traditional high-street' against voracious big business like Tesco? Will they 'defend' native flora and fauna like the Caledonian Forest or the capercaillie? Will they 'defend' the indigenous Gaelic language of Scotland? Will they 'defend' native crofting communities against the whims of rich landowners, be they Scottish or foreign? Will they 'defend' the rights of Scottish people to good living standards such as reliable and cheap public transport, free health care and good state education that's free from the interference of private companies? Or why don't they content themselves with saving stray cats?

The EDL and SDL make much of 'supporting our troops'. However, the respect has not been returned. War veterans in Scotland expressed opposition to SDL plans to march past the cenotaph in Glasgow. Little wonder. Why would some dignified old men want drunken football hooligans 'paying respect'? What are they gonna do? Urinate on the Cenotaph?

These guys are idiots and criminals. I'm not much of a royalist nor a Daily Mail 'law and order' type but I'd be very happy for Her Majesty's Police Service to give this lot some 'British justice'.

Respecting our troops? Or saluting English architecture?