Stirling Albion bought by fans

Congratulations to the community of Stirling fans who have bought their football club. Stirling Albion are the first in the British isles to do so though such a concept in not unusual on the continent. Two of the biggest names in the sport - Barcelona and Real Madrid - are owned by their communities as are clubs in the Netherlands and Germany. The Scots' cringe may say, 'we canny do it', but many Scots are doing it already.

The coming of the Scots' Parliament gave crofting communities the right to buy their own land. The crofters of Asainte in Sutherland were the first to mount a hostile takeover bid. They were soon followed by the islanders of Eigg - see above - who had been fucked about by a succession of rich and 'eccentric' landowners for decades to the point that islanders were forbidden to develop or maintain their own homes without permission from some wealthy and foreign fruitcake.

There has since been many takeovers of crofting communities - the latest being a hostile takeover of the Pàirc estate in Lewis. The hard work and dedication involved in these matters should not be underestimated but the flipside is that private ownership does not always work either. And, if it does work, does it work for everyone's benefit?

If communities can do it, why can't football clubs? In both cases we have livelihoods at stake as well as a lot of tradition and history involved. We've seen various clubs go under - Clydebank and Gretna come to mind from recent years - while many more are in deep trouble. Hearts are up to their necks in debt and should their mad owner withdraw many think it would be the end. However, if Stirling can do it, surely a large club like Hearts with a potential support of many tens of thousands could do it too.

Support Stirling Albion and lets leave the nay saying Scots' cringe in dark old days of the London empire.

Meal a naidheachd air Albion Shruighlea is gach deagh dhùrachd is soirbheachas leibh.

It's still Scotland's oil and Moore's Norway

So, the annual Gers report spells out what we should already all know about the potential value of Scotland's oil. Unfortunately, this wealth is still flowing into London's black hole and not into a Scottish trust fund, a la the wise Norwegians.

There is probably decades' worth of oil left. We could add that to our whisky revenue, renewable energy dividends, tourism cash etc... and then subtract what the UK wastes on WMDs, illegal wars and other occupations of third world countries, the Royal Family etc.

Labour's bum-chinned bampot Andy Kerr (a name originating in Gaelic which can be translated at 'wrong') says that its all crap and does his best to downplay the good news. Its become something of a tribal duty to denigrate Scotland or her potential whilst ignoring similar and successful nations such as Norway. It says much of Anndra Ceàrr that he would prefer a Britain under Tory rule than an independent Scotland that could possibly be under a more progressive Labour rule - assuming that an independent Scottish Labour party would return to some of its more progressive and traditional values.

Meanwhile, Kerr could do worse than view the out-take - 'Is Norway Utopia' - from Michael Moore's film Sicko in which he sheds light on the nature of Norwegian society. Would Andy Kerr really tell these Norwegians that they would be better off being ruled by Sweden again? Or even by London???

Milestones and millionaires

Yesterday's 'milestone' of the 300th death in Afghanistan of the British occupiers was grim. It seems as if it's already been surpassed by another fatality. Mealy-moothed Cameron may praise their bravery, but is their sacrifice of any benefit to us? Can any of us - even your diehard Labour and Tory warmonger - honestly say that your average Scot is reaping the benefits of trying to contain a hornets nest of our own making?

Not only are we failing to defeat the Taleban/ Al Queda (flashback a few years and you could replace that with the USSR/ IRA) but 'we' are actively making enemies. Valleys of neutral or previously supportive tribesmen have often been bombed by mistake. This, like the British massacre on Bloody Sunday, has the effect of bolstering anti-US/ Brit resistance and creating it where none existed.

Meanwhile and despite this Orwellian permawar and the continuing effects of the recession, we see millionaire footballers at the World Cup pouting like spoilt bairns and throwing their pishpots at their managers. Worst offenders have been the French. Having exited the tournament only a few hours ago, I hope these Pop Idol excuses for footballers get a roasting on their return. England are little better, what with their daily whinging of being 'bored'! Millionaire duds, holed up in a luxury hotel, playing golf, giving TV interviews, watching their competitiors and yet getting 'bored'.

I look forward to England exiting at the hands of the Slovenians and then been posted to the shittiest and most hostile poverty ridden township you can find in South Africa to face real fkn 'boredom'.

World Cup coverage - those wild colonial boys

Have you noticed that irritating and monotonous drone that imposes itself on the BBC and ITV World Cup coverage? Aye, it's the voice of the English commentators. Who put the colon in colonial? Was it Motty?!

The novelty of the first football World Cup to be held in the continent of 'Efrica' has seen the civilised ranks of England's finest sports journalists descend on the 'dark' continent. We have Eton hoodie and LibCon head-boy Dave Cameron forgetting his rugger days and crowing 'Come on England'. We have 'World Cup Motty' on Twitter. Hurrah! We have the numerous references to '66 and 'England Expects' has been heard more than once. We have reportage on the poverty of the townships, while well spoken white boys ask the locals 'How do you feel?'. We even have some 'token blecks' as reporters. We have little though on the 'British' Empire's role in creating the poverty though. And little, so far, on the violence that usually accompanies England' participation in tournaments.

The Beeb are perplexed by Anyone but England. It is often thought that the Celtic Nations' habit of supporting Anyone but England is down to jealousy and xenophobia. There may be some truth in that. But few people have any grudges with the English players or even your average English fan. However, as has been pointed out before, if it is legitimate for the English to complain about foreigners, why can't the Scots complain about the English and their domination of our politics, our media and even their often well-healed and obnoxious 400 000 settlers in Scotland? If England can regularly display their own hatred of... well, mostly everyone but especially Germany during football tournaments then why can't we express our tiredness at the arrogant and patronising nature of the English media?

What has been interesting has been the comments of some of the more progressive English voices. And I don't mean Sting or Billy Bragg. Anarchist agitator, journalist and former stand-up comedian Ian Bone reminds us on his blog...

"Last world cup when England lost to both France and Portugal there was rioting in the streets. Croydon has already drafted in riot cops for England match days so a defeat tomorrow by the USA should make Saturday night out a lively one. Watch them plastic chairs fly through the air.I wonder if it’s the same in Pyongyang?"

Riot? Aye, such has been the displeasure at England's demise in recent fitba tournaments that after one, a Scot in London wearing a Germany top was beaten to death and a Russian in Liverpool was stabbed to death as England's thugs thought he had a German accent. Sure, the Scot in a German top is provocative, but the death penalty for that? Maybe the English Defence League, BNP, UKIP et al have more liking for Sharia Law than they know? Did it really take an academic study to prove that most BNP voters had a low IQ?

If you get tired of England's Christian sudgers marching as to war, then you could do worse than read Ian Bone above or check out the Enemies of Reason which cuts through the boolshoit. Or else, open that bottle of Laphroaig Càirdeas at 57.3% and do some 'rhythmic African dancing' as seen repeatedly on the BBC to the Chomsky Allstars.

Anyone but Engerland

Partly due to my German better half, I'm supporting Germany. The other part wants nothing to do with the xenophobia, immigrant-phobia and disgusting Lib-Dem Conservatism that is gripping England at the moment. Partly also to the abuse my German partner and her clients received in a Fort William hotel from a party of middle-aged English tourists when the English refused to support their Euro neighbours. Funny that!

So, when England's media and their knuckleheided fans can bring themselves to celebrate the historic links between Germany and England, such as their common Anglo-Saxon tongue, patron saint, Royal Family and traditional habit of marching into other countries, I might bring myself to support them when they play anyone.

Laws - just another crook

I'm not sure which is worse about the David Laws case- a Lib Dem multi-millionaire defrauding the public purse to the tune of £40k or the sycophants lining up to pay 'tribute' to this thief. Let's face it, if those who 'cheat' the benefit system can face fraud charges in court, why can't this guy? Shame too on him for trying to hide behind his sexuality. Surely if anyone can afford to buy his own secret lovenest for whoever - man, woman or Tory - then this guy can.

To sum up some of the complements that have been paid to this fckr... right-wing Tory heid-the-baw Iain Duncan Smith, who is currently charged with tackling the benefit culture of the great white unwashed, first:

Mr Duncan Smith told the BBC's Andrew Marr Show his respect for Mr Laws had grown since they started working together in the coalition, and he was a "thoroughly decent person".

"I have no questions at all that he has the talent to be back... I've been in the spotlight myself, as you know, so I wish him the very best and hope the media leaves him alone a bit now."

Now for another Tory, this time the freakish and deviant looking Michael Gove:

The coalition's Conservative Schools Secretary Michael Gove also paid tribute to his Lib Dem coalition colleague, telling Sky News Mr Laws had never been a "tribal" politician.

Mr Gove added that Mr Laws had given up a lucrative career in the City for politics because he believed in public service.

Or the Lib Dem leader himself, a man who has made the rejection of principles an art form:

Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg has paid tribute to the "great dignity" of David Laws following the Treasury Secretary's resignation.

He said he hoped Mr Laws would be able to "rejoin the government" eventually, "because... he has so much to contribute to national life".

And talking of consenting gay couples, how about Clegg's better half and the Etonian face of the 'New Politics', Mr Cameron himself:

"Your decision to resign from the government demonstrates the importance you attach to your integrity.

"In your short time at the Treasury, you have made a real difference, setting the government on the right path to tackle the deficit which poses such a risk to our economy."

These people are self-serving scum. Stealing tax payers' money while they're seeking to cut our services. Thousands of ordinary folk are facing the dole - and having their own privacy invaded as a test of their probity - while greasy and fraudulent Westminster MPs keep each others' asses covered and pay 'tribute' to those unfortunate enough to have been caught with their hands in the till.

Bankrupt Brittania waives the rules once more.

In the playground with the pygmies

Imagine a windswept and rugged landscape. One with mountains, islands and fjord-like incisions into the land where historically travel by boat was the only real mode of transport. A land that has suffered famine and clearance. Where the natives have been used as cannon fodder by another nation in her wars. Strict and tribalistic religion has shaped society. An ancient language is still spoken despite colonial efforts to beat it out of the natives. Many people still live off the fruits of land and sea - seaweed, shellfish and strange delicacies involving sheeps' stomachs.

Imagine that the year is 2010.

This land is now a plaything for English toffs. With the purchasing power of the colonial British Broadcasting Corporation behind them and a truck load of cameras, the shy and reticent natives are cajoled into 'cooperating' with these dashing toff adventurers. For, an adventure it is.

The white beaches. "I say, this could be Goa".

The mountains. "I remember when i was in Nepal..."

The wild Atlantic. "Back in the school dorms, we would play at being Captain Pugwash."

The natives. "Ever so friendly, they gave me two pigs, 3 turkeys and a traditional Hebridean llama for my new croft."

The language. "Isn't the Gay-lick so beautiful. It sounds like mangled Swahili spoken backward. Fortunately, my grandfatha's generation beat the natives soundly until they learned English. Its great for the economy you know."

The music. "It's called a Kay-lee. Tribal and rhythmic music that almost spirits one away from the raging storm outside and back to the mudflats, from where a primitive lifeform is emerging from the sea..."

And before long, the natives are filmed helping the dashing white adventurer erect wooden poles so that other travellers find that their steps fall easier in this rough terrain. Beads and trinkets are traded for oil and whisky revenue so there is satisfaction all round. And before long, the brave Field Marshal Montgomery Halls and Rear Admiral Benjamin Fogle retire to their native England to write their memoirs.

The definitive Nick Clegg

Clegg: sucks blood of various animals

Far be it for me to enter into traditional 'tribal' Scottish politics but... the Lib Dems deserve it. Their charming and trained actor of a leader is now under more scrutiny than ever before. I bet he wishes he'd gone for the real X-Factor instead of the presidential debates. Never mind, one look at the Free Dictionary says it all. Are the Lib Dems political chancers and parasites, devoid of principles and substance? Let's find out...

Aye... "sucks blood of various animals". OK, the gender may be out, but this sounds true.

Is 'nick' any better? Well "a shallow notch" rings the bells of recognition. But also, "to cheat", "to wound slightly" and "to steal". Surely not? This about the leader of a party that found itself in third place in terms of the popular vote in both England and Scotland? If Brown had no mandate to continue, why does the Gadfly think that his party enjoys the ringing endorsement of the electorate?

The new Lib Dem Scottish Secretary, Danny Alexander doesn't fill one with confidence either. Its not only that he fills the office that he previously wished to eliminate but seeing him act like David Cameron's meek and mute colonial lap dog on his visit to Holyrood last week was pretty emblematic of the spineless nature of the new Lib Dems.

Roll on Holyrood 2011 and Lib Dem meltdown.

From pig to man, from man to pig...

"The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which."

George Orwell

Lib Dems go to bed with Thatcher's bastard children

Hands up who voted Lib Dumb? Then, hands up who voted Lib Dumb or Labour in order to keep the Tories out? Well, then you've just been humped big time. Tricky Nick Clegg has squeeze an Old Testament sized shit on the heads of those who voted 'progressive' to keep uber-privileged Eton boy Cameron from power.

Some points -

• Can we trust the Lib Dems again? No. They've dug their cesspit and can fkn well sink in it. At next years Holyrood elections, the Lib Dem canvassers go onto my harassment list of anyone who comes near the hoose with propaganda. So, the Fib Dungs join Ukip, the English Nazis and Tories in line for gardyloo treatment.
• As to Labour, their scare tactics didn't work. Will the 41% of Scots voters who voted for the skeletal God-botherer Jim Murphy now see that 'voting Labour to keep the Tories out' is worthless in Scotland. Only independence can save us from an electoral system that is weighted in the favour of right-wing English voters.
• More Labour - do they really prefer Tory rule to independence or a pact with the SNP

True that when all is said and done, a Labour/Tory pact would've been closer ideologically. But this whole episode has gone to shedding some light though on the nature of the Lib Dems. Forever destined to be political prostitutes, ready to sell out to the highest bidder.